Feeling nervous

If you like animals, get a dog. Even a tiny one will quickly distinguish between the normal sounds of the house and something not normal. They will warn you about any abnormal sound (most of which are nothing e.g. someone talking just outside), so when they are content (99% of the time at night), you will be content! Best if they sleep on the bed. Both of you have company and are happy and relaxed. A Toy Poodle is small, very clean (they tend to wash themselves like cats, plus need bathing every 3 weeks), doesn't shed and are loving, cheerful, friendly, and can get enough excercise running around the house and garden (although enjoy a walk if it's available)!

I used to live in a creaky old house and never felt easy living alone there. I have moved to a snug little flat in a block where the neighbours are watchful, though thankfully not intrusive, and the tension and stress has just ebbed away.
Not everyone wants to give up a familiar home, but for me it has been a godsend.

I live in a Park Home, safe communities as we are all over 45, no children except DGC visiting. Our road is a dead end so any vehicle or people walking are noticed especially if they're out of the ordinary.

I have taken the key out of my front door, unlocking the door as I've done so at night. Left key in door & door unlocked all night. I have even gone out for the day & left home unlocked, only realising the door wasn't locked when I tried to "unlock" it.

I sleep with the radio on low,, this is something I have always done when on my own in bed (DH sometimes had to work away) even with others in the house

It's like having neighbourhood watch here, we don't pry into others business but know when near neighbours go away, most of us hold a key or know who has one, it's not "nosiness" but peace of mind, even notice what time you go to bed, can't help it as unless you've got blackout blinds/curtains light shines through. Not good if you fall asleep on the settee & wake up at 4am

I have been on my own for 4 years now but feel secure in my home, anyway don't think any-one will break in here, only jewellery I have I wear & no valuable antiques/paintings/collectables

You can have the dog bark without the dog!

www.amazon.co.uk/Electronic-Intruder-Security-Activated-Speakers/dp/B0051EAFOG

It's got good reviews, too.

I used to live in a museum house for their fire insurance purposes. My wing was also alarmed for intruder and fire/smoke, but once in a while it went off. I'd be jumpy for a couple of days, then it would go.

When the building next door caught fire, the smoke drifted towards mine, but before the smoke alarm system picked it up, my cats were in the window meowing their heads off. That was impressive!

Typo....psychological.

It's natural to be nervier if you live alone.It's psychological though, as having an old, and not very well DH in the room with you at night will not make you any safer in reality.Perhaps a big strong six foot son in the next bedroom to you would, but who has that? Study the crime stats of where you live, take sensible precautions and calm fears.

You could ask a rep from Crime Prevention to look at your property and advise on security, we did that and it was great. Lots of people lock the back door and leave the key in the lock - a burglar could reach in and access the property. Do you have a burglar alarm? Great deterrent and the burglar numbers have reduced. Our CP chap gave us lots of advice and he knew our area well too, which helped. And he was free of charge too.

I do sympathise with Sunseeker, I have always been a bit "nervy" but we now have a holiday home in a nice quiet area in Cumbria ( we dont live in the UK) I often go over to the house, as I love it and the surroundings, but I hate being on my own, at night. I am gradually getting over this, I have a radio on by my bed, and a little light on, also a door wedge so it would be more difficult to get in, I think. I have a chain on the front door, but just lock the back door, and take the key out, in case I fell ill and the neighbours needed to get in. I sometimes come to my senses, and think, why the heck would anyone want to break in when they know there is someone there, when the house is empty most of the time, no logic really.This wont help Sunseeker, but at least she will know she isnt on her own on this subject. My best wishes to another mature worrier.

It's not the size of the dog that matters,it's the barking that puts off an intruder.A burglar wants it as quiet as possible to nip in and out.If you are thinking of an intruder who is deranged and dangerous ( not a common occurance) then make sure that you not only lock doors, but have a bolt or a chain as well.Only open small top windows for fresh air at night, and if you have a gate outside, it needs to have two bolts on it.
Sensible precautions.
After that, stop worrying, smashing windows or doors to get in to your property only usually happens in daylight when the owners are out.
Have a phone in the bedroom, and a room where you can lock yourself in, a bathroom say, in an emergency.
Never wedge furniture against your bedroom door!
Above all, stop worrying.
More people are attacked in their homes during daylight, when they have allowed strangers into the house.....that's where a strong chain on the door comes in useful.

You say you switch on the outside lights if you hear a noise.
Why not leave them on all night? We live in a rural village with an unlit public footpath running along our back fence.
We leave our outside light on all night as do our neighbours. As has already been said, burglars look for the easiest option. A burglar alarm and good lighting is the best deterrent.

I leave thee radio on all night, helps with my tinnitus but left on in say the kitchen....radio 4 extra it does sound like a conversation going on, that and a small lamp would give the impression of someone in the house............

I have a dog, he is small and I would worry in case he got hurt by intruders......but he is company.

You say you live in a rural area, but have neighbours. We too. Do you by any chance have Neighbourhood Watch ?? It works very well in our tiny community. We all keep a watch out for suspicious vehicles and have numbers to ring in case of problems. My husband and I are the local co-ordinators and keep an eye on elderly and vulnerable people. We also tend to let each other know when our houses are empty... so we can watch out for each other. The local police keep us up to date by e-mail with whats going on locally... and the whole thing works pretty well. Just a thought !

One answer is get a dog. Good company, fun to keep and you will feel much more secure and ,less vulnerable. Have a think!
I would do that if I was in your position.

Something people often do is leave the landing light on if they're out in the evening. I think that advertises an empty house. Nobody sits on the landing all evening. I would leave a front room light on, curtains drawn, or use a time switch. That wasn't particularly for Sunseeker, who I think has been given some good advice. From what you say Sunseeker I think you'll be fine anyway.

Even the wind is making me jump tonight. It's supposed to have died down.
Woke up to a power cut this morning, and couldn't believe how dark it was at 5.30.
I'm in a bungalow, too, Grannyben. At least we will not have far to go to get out.
How on earth do you move a wardrobe? I agree with absent; what happens if anyone needs to get in?
I once had to crawl to the front door to open it for ambulance men before they got here. It would be impossible with a wardrobe in front of the door.
I think if you are on your own, the problem of people who need to help you getting in is more relevant than people getting in when you don't want them in your house.
Says she who locked the door before she watched Silent Witness, just in case! A dilemma, isn't it?

I'm in a bungalow so my escape route would be straight out of the window

It is sensible to use available security measures, such as a burglar alarm, and to avoid doing anything silly such as leaving downstairs windows open while you are out or asleep. However, it is also vital to ensure that you have an easy escape route in case of fire. Once a building has caught fire you have very little time to get out and smoke is both blinding and choking. Rummaging around for three or four different keys to unlock doors or moving a wardrobe to get out of the bedroom door are the equivalent of writing your own death warrant.

My father was a fire engineer and I had drummed into me from an early age that getting out as fast as possible is the only way to save your life.

I have been on my own for almost 6 years and I have been nervous at night all that time. I do have a little dog but, in my case that doesn't help. Firstly, I worry that if someone got in they would hurt him and, secondly, he grumbles at any noise within a one mile radius. That's really not helpful! I am fully aware that my home is quite secure and it's unlikely anyone would break in. Again, common sense doesn't help me sleep well. Four years ago I took to blocking the bedroom door with the wardrobe. Every night I move it over and wedge it into place. It has helped me feel more secure as I know, if anyone did get in, it would buy me time. I just pray I don't die in the night or my poor family will have to come in through the window! Oh sunseeker, please never go to investigate, just stay where you are.

The most valuable thing in sunseekers home is her. Her safety is the priority here.

Could you seek counselling to help you rationalise your fears, sunseeker? With the amount of security you have you would have to have something of very great value in your house (Old Master, Crown jewels) for anyone to make any serious attempt to break in.

I can emphasise, I have lived alone 15 years and have had two burglaries one happened after I d had a workman (new to me) in the house so I had it my head it was down to him but that may not be so. No one was ever found for the theft and they both happened whilst I was out thankfully
I also live in a creeky Victorian house that when the children next down run up or downstairs it sounds just like its in my own house I have locks on my windows and doors but no alarms
For weeks after, I was very jumpy at night lying listening to every sound and imagining people in my house I completely cured myself by having my radio on low all night that way I don't hear the creaks and sounds nearly so much I sleep soundly with it on and if I do wake I lie and listen to it instead of imagining all the nasty ideas in my head and usually fall back to sleep
Hope this might help

Most burglaries are opportunist – spotting an open window, climbing easily over a back gate where the burglar won't be overlooked, breaking a pane of glass in a back door when the householder has left the key in the lock after locking the door, even simply opening an unlocked front door. Unless you are owner of fabulous jewels, rare paintings and sculptures or a hugely successful drug dealer, a "professional" burglar is unlikely to bother you.

However, I would avoid investigating noises while clutching a baseball bat. That indicates intent to harm and does not constitute reasonable force.

Just remembered that a friend, whose husband was a police inspector, keeps his uniform on the hall stand. He died a few years ago, but she still keeps it where an intruder might think he's in the house. Nothing sinister about it btw, we just laugh about how he would laugh at the idea too

I can empathise with your fears. I too have a burglar alarm and believe me no one could get in here without making a big noise, so I presume yours is the same. I had the installer check all potential safety points and he fitted a yale lock on the hall door leading into the hallway as well as the 5 lever arch locks on the front and back doors. I put the chain on at night too. The back door has bolts top and bottom as that's the vulnerable point in my home, backing onto woodland. I have a sign on the gable end warning that there is a cctv camera. There isn't, but my neighbour adjacent to my property has one which covers my area.

I'm lucky in that I live in a small enclosed square with good neighbours. Keep neighbour's numbers on your phone. Is there someone you really trust who would answer a call from you? I've been investigating an alarm which you can wear round your neck or on your wrist and if you are in any kind of difficulty someone will answer when you press and send help. There is a charge for the service, but I'm beginning to accept that at 75 I might need help in an emergency sometime and think it wise to be prepared.

Thinking of you.

Is it theft you're worried about or personal injury?