Toilets with children

A similar situation to that described by annsixty
DS takes her 2 boys to a swimming pool in a hotel in Beijing and always took them into the (open plan) ladies changing room. Apparently someone complained about boys being there (they were 2 and 6 at the time) and so 'The Rules' were changed and NO BOYS AT ALL were allowed in the ladies. Both boys were to go into the gents changing room on their own. You can imagine the conversation which took place. The up-shot was that a member of staff was to go with them to help change them and then again to dry and dress. As she handed over the nappy bag she just happened to mention the dirty nappy the 2yr old had. Strangely he was handed back pdq and was allowed back in the ladies. The 6yr old went in the gents with a staff member. Now out of nappies the younger one does also. As they visit the pool frequently they know the staff well and there have been no problems. DS rather likes the fact she can shower and change in peace but would have been very concerned if the boys had had to go in alone.

Jalima Meaning the OP has nothing better to do or comment on.

I know what you mean petra but I wonder about the motive of the OP.
hence the

The up to and including 8 years old rule for boys in ladies toilets/changing rooms has been in place for years in my area.

Am I the only one who would take note of each guy coming out of the gents if my 8 yr old GS was in there alone. ?

I never even saw my dad in his vest!
Times have changed so much; family dynamics too.

MissAdventure ,me neither or his legs ,he didn;t wear shorts ...ever .We were a family of 4 daughters so poor dad was well outnumbered he never used bad language around us ..or other women either .In fact he used to blush over even quite mild bad language or scenes on TV he thought were embarassing.....and all those years ago they really weren't explicit at all ,60's and 70's TV was very innocent in comparison to todays

It's sad that we have to worry like this all the time isn't it? And you'd have thought that it was quite OK for an 11-year old girl to go to the ladies alone. But a girl this age was raped in the toilets at Sainsbury's in Leamington Spa.

How can you protect against that?

I'd suggest using the disabled loo but if it's not available I don't see what the problem is

Can't help but feel that the man was being thoughtless to leave the girl in the main area while he 'went to use the cubicle himself'. Why? That situation no doubt made the men coming in feel compromised - I know my OH would feel uncomfortable with an unknown small girl standing, alone, while he urinated!

Yes, you are being too sensitive. Get over it and get a life!

Do pubs usually have urinals? I would have thought that most are too small and would just have a couple of cubicles.

If they have to go.......

Then if I'm the only adult available they come in with me ( boys and girls) , if Grampy is the only adult available then they go with him( girls and boys) .

They don't have enough time for looking around and if they did - they're not seeing people having sex just having a wee!!

Atthe pool at our gym the rule is no boys over the age of 8 in the ladies UNLESS they are only there with a lady . I really don't see the issue at all.

Better that than they go in alone - now that in my opinion is asking for trouble.

That reminds me of the time when I had just come out of the shower and a little head poked round the bathroom door and observed "My Daddy has got one of those and his is bigger than yours" <LoL>

Got to agree with Ana how on earth would you know the child had been left alone whilst the father went back into the cubicle you are reading far too much into the innocent situation

I suppose it depends on what the toilets are like. Most pub/resturant ones I know are single anyway. If it's an old-fashioned urinal with men all peeing in a row, I would think this could be rather confusing for a little girl and, I guess, the presence of a small girl child could also upset some men. If I remember correctly, my father used to ask a kindly-looking lady to take me to the Ladies - but that was the 1950s!

Well to those saying it's not acceptable what would they rather see the child stand and wet her knickers or give the child to a stranger to take in ummmm
I see nothing wrong at all we are far to hung up on these matters the sooner a kid learns we all need to wee albeit in different ways the more rounded and less embarrassed they will be as they get older it's something we all do
As you weren't in there and as your husband was too embarrassed to go in how on earth do you know that he left the child to have a wee himself
Boys of 8 do need to go in the gents having said that we always used to stand outside the door and yell in if he was too long haha ( the first few times )
I have used male toilets if they are empty and the ladies have a queue why not ?

We can only try and safeguard children, boys and girls if we use commonsense and follow our own code. I wouldn't let any child go to a public toilet alone. I didn't when my own were little either and they are both over 25. It's not a new thing, children have always been targeted by certain people.

Question: am I being too sensitive etc
Answer: yes

I am dismayed by some of the dismissive comments on this post. We all have different experiences and reasons for the way we feel about issues. It has (Almost) put me off belonging to Gransnet. Maybe I should 'get a life'!

A lotof the Cafes, bars and restaurants here have just one toilet with cubicles with male or female on them,in fact in one of the main meeting rooms in the Town hall on the Grand Place there are just 3 shared toilet cubicles. No one bats an eyelid, it is just the way things are.

What is a Dad to do if his daughter needs the loo? I suppose he could hang around outside the ladies & ask a nice grandma type to take her in but I don't see the problem TBH.

Most other cultures don't have segregated facilities. Some local clubs have unisex toilets too.... roll on, I don't have seperate toilets at home. We all use the equivalent of a cubicle - I.e. A closed door - why not when we are out too??

Let's face the realities of this situation, if a child needs the loo you take them. A responsible father would discretely use the cubicle, girls don't usually use urinals, it shouldn't be a problem. Men are not welcome in the ladies, Hoorah for baby changing in the Men's loo!

This highlights the need for unisex loos. They work well in other countries and I've come across a few in the UK.