I've turned into a scary cat

I can totally relate to your post morethan2. In my case it's a loss of confidence issue. As Jalima and others suggested fill the form out in pencil first I also tackle what I consider difficult issues by doing it step by step 'salami slicing'. Regarding form filling - do a couple of pages a day if it is a long form.
The satisfaction you get by completing a task helps with rebuilding your confidence.
Best wishes.

I know this is a bit late but ......
Age concern will sort it out for you. Any forms that you find difficult they will help you with

Sorry more than2, I didn't have time to read through all the posts and I am sorry life is so difficult for you.
No bullet points from me this time just flowers & hugs.x

*Read it through, put it away .
*Read it through again
*Have any info you need to hand.
*Fill it in with a pencil a section at a time.
*Read it through again.
*Fill in with biro.

You might be able to email or phone them for advice.

I hope you don't mind me using points, I find them easier to follow, plus I've just discovered how to do them on our computer. Good luck morethan2.

More than,

Try not to worry, it's just stress. Perhaps you can take a little time out, to relax or just rest and give yourself some tlc

Thanks for this thread. Just getting ready to renew my driving licence. Am going to try to do it on line as the paperwork suggests. I am getting it out this afternoon when DH is in town so that I have uninterrupted peace to have my go and then if I can't do it ask his help when he gets back. I'm not even sure if I have a .gov.uk personal account to sign into or not. Going to be a learning curve after lunch.

or if its an absolute failure will dash into town to friendly post office.

Morethan, you have found that there are friends here who will listen and support, so let rip, moan, whinge, shout, rant, whatever, let it out and get it off your chest. We will listen, give advice, if we can, and send you virtual hugs. Don't be sorry, nobody can bear all the load by themselves, and it does help to write it down. I can't say that I have been of any help to you, but reading, and keeping your problems close, I try. God bless and keep on letting Gransnet " take the strain".

morethan, never apologise, you are managing so much, of course the mundane gets difficult at times, let off steam as much as you need to. Really pleased the form has gone. One less pressure, you did it .

I've sent the form off. I'm really sorry about my ramblings. I posted some time back about my lost mobile. ( still lost but at least deactivated) I know my hysteria isn't really about any of this mundane stuff. It's about my MiL having a long slow decline 200 miles away and watching my DiL suffer along with worrying about her, my son and the children. I think perhaps I am also feeling some anxiety about retirement. There's nothing I can do about any of this really big stuff. Just wait it out. So I think my emotional brain unconsciously finds somthing smaller to get hysterical about. These bouts can last for minutes or weeks if I'm really unlucky. I should go to the doctors but I'm really trying to avoid it. I don't really want to be medicated. I'm just having a really shitty awful time. What's worse is that there's a strong chance than rather than things getting better I know they can get worse so I'm apprehensive. The whole thing is exhausting. Thanks for putting up and supporting me. I do everything I can to contain all this emotions at work because I don't want to be the constant moaner. I can't do it with my family who are also emotionally drained. So you get it. Sorry.

You are definitely not alone in your feelings. If it helps, stop trying to multi-task and choose one thing that has to be done at a time. See that done to it's completion and then but only then, tackle another. Prioritise.
I agree with everyone who has suggested Citizens Advice Bureau. Give them a call.
Also, I don't know where you live of course but many local councils like my own have various help centres who assist with form filling amongst other things for free. Call your council.
There's also the option of going down the medical/ NHS route as this is causing you stress. I'd suggest speaking to your doctor about anxiety and for useful agencies who could help with the things that are stressing you. NHS Healthwatch comes to mind. You can speak to them on the phone and they can provide you with a list of agencies who may be able to assist.
Good luck and don't worry further. Your feelings of being overwhelmed, especially with the bureaucratic language of so many forms is not at all uncommon.

I've just done mine and I was surprised by what they want to know. I thought they knew all about me anyway. I did mine on line but first of all I had to get a gateway number and code. I am reasonably competent on the computer but it is a bit of a faff.
However you can save the form as you go so if there is a question that needs a bit of thought you can leave it till you have found the answer. I had to ask my accountant a question or two.
One of my friends volunteers at the CAB and helps with this sort of thing regularly but of course you do have to know the answers yourself.
good luck

I know that feeling well these days Morethan2. As I get older anything that's at all complicated feels like a mountain to climb. I reckon it's because I can't multitask anymore. I used to juggle my life, like most women, but nowadays I do best when I deal with just one thing at a time.
Set aside plenty of time with no distractions (not easy, I know, with a busy life), not even the TV or radio on. Also have a nice table or desk to sit at for doing daunting things like form filling, maybe with a candle or a few flowers, and a cup of tea. I do this when I have to go on comparison websites for insurance renewals!
I gather you're dealing with a lot at present so it's understandable if you're finding it hard to focus.
It probably sounds silly to all the highly capable multitasking Gnetters out there but I really do have to "trick" myself into getting on with difficult tasks.
Also I sometimes try aromatherapy, you can get Tisserand or Bach for confidence, focus, energy etc. Not sure they actually help a lot, but maybe a little bit.

Am I right in thinking that it is not just about filling in the Pension form but a general feeling of being overwhelmed by things that you would normally take in your stride?

I get like this when I have a lot of stress , all of a sudden everything seems too much to cope with and I get terribly muddled in my head . Form filling , phone calls , etc become a major hurdle , I end up with a headache feel tearful and very frustrated with myself . I can only suggest that you try to get some help with the things you are finding difficult but basically you are not on your own with these feelings . Give yourself extra time to do things and always in the mornings when you are the freshest , give yourself a time limit on how long you will spend and stop when you start to feel that overwhelmed feeling .

When I lost my DH I was literally thrown to the wolves when it came to dealing with just about everything and anything that involved forms.

I still, after many years of having to cope, have a moment of panic when what looks to be 'official' drops through the letterbox.

Anything visa related is awful. It doesnt seem to matter much which country. Not that I know them all!

DH ,no wimp, took three days to fill in on line Chinese visa forms. It cost a silly amount of money and we were in that godforsaken( Kunming )county's airport for not much more than 24 hours. The air was blue for there days. I think the elephant slices is a good idea.

I remember my mum saying as she got older "I'm losing my courage." Had little clue as to what she meant at the time but now I know exactly how she felt.

I think it was mentioned in another post that you could photocopy the forms and fill them out ready to transfer to the original.

About 7 years ago I was overdue with three years tax returns (I had been travelling) and was being charged for tax I didn't owe (based on an estimate) plus interest. I couldn't face dealing with it - if there had been a local office I would have gone into it, but filling in forms and such defeated me - even though I had, and still do part time, work as an accountant! I felt just like OP, mind in a fog, physically sick etc. I couldn't even open the IR letters that came through the letterbox. Then I received a lump sum of £3,000 from a pension scheme I had contributed to and used £2,000 to clear the supposed debt with the Inland Revenue. It was like a weight off my mind at the time, even though to me it was a lot of money. (I could have done with a new car). Today, living on a basic state pension plus what, at 70, I earn on my little part time job, I wish I could get that money back! I now realise that I was suffering from nervous exhaustion and/or depression at the time.
I recommend that you find a tax expert to help you unless there is a family member or close friend who you are happy to share your personal details with. It will be such a relief for you to get it done.

Post menopause lots of us get nervous where once we would have been confident. Great suggestions above
When you have filled it all out successfully and u WILL give yourself a little treat
Good luck.

Who actually sent you the form to fill in? I remember, before I retired, HR sent me a bundle of forms and information. I went back to them and asked for clarification. They were pretty helpful, suggested where I could find what I needed and what was irrelevant. The DWP were incredibly helpful too, once I spoke to a real person on the phone. Also, a friend is an adviser with the CAB, a lot of her customers come in with similar needs. There is a lot of help out there - give yourself a break and use it. Make sure you keep good notes as you get answers, don't be afraid to ask people to repeat things so you can write them down. All the 'stuff' that goes on when you retire is stressful enough without family worries too. Be good to yourself and let professionals help you. I hope all goes well for you and your family.

Have you tried contacting the pension provider to explain your problems ? I often have to phone DH's and there is always someone to help with a query. I also have to do battle (well, it seems like that !) with the UK tax office at times. Good idea as suggested here, is to collect together all the info you need, take two copies of the form . fill one in and if you can, send it by e mail to the pension provider and tell them why you are doing so, and ask if someone can kindly check it for you so you can submit the actual form and know it will be accepted Most government departmets, annuity companies or private pension providers will either have a help line or an internet site where you may be able to see the form and the exact details of how to fill it in !

Above all, don't let it get you down ..mistakes can be corrected and taking it slowly and logically will make it easier for you and I bet you end up wondering why you were so worried 1 Do you have someone at work (if you are still at work_ who could help ? Maybe HR Dept or pensions advisor > or Age Concern or the CAB ? please do not get yourself into a situation where you worry and make yourself ill ,,,,,get some advice ! Best of luck !

Is it possible that you are suffering from anxiety and depression morethantwo?
I am quite a capable person but was brought low by this condition many years ago and exhibited the same feelings you are having.
I couldn't understand it because I was in a happy marriage after a previous very abusive one and had no obvious triggers. I think some demons from the past caught up with me.
I got through it with the support of my family and friends and medication from my doctor.
If I am way off course here I apologise but just wanted to raise it as a possibility.

If you are really worried do as others have suggested & get help. I have to apply for my Driving Licence every year & I always keep copies although form changes every time it does help.

I keep copies of all relevant correspondences in files, I have an expanding folder for current year correspondence for ease & rest is in metal filing boxes.

I find as I'm getting older there are more forms to complete to claim benefits & help with utility bills, as yet I'm able to cope but if I find I can't I'm hoping DD will help as she is very good.

I also find that putting off completing forms is pointless, copy or fill in in pencil, get all relevant paperwork out ready, nice or , bit of peace & quiet & go for it.

For the form filling thing - perhaps Age Concern or Citizen's Advice might have someone who is trained in helping with form filling? they generally are very kind. [DH is one of them in our area!]
Good luck and I sympathise - I am terrified of forms.