How to have conversations

Otherwise we worry that the whole tuning out thing will become habit. I should add that I've had meals with other (related) children of this age recently and they have been far more interested and engaged. She is quite shy but we are talking about family that she has known forever so I suppose I am asking how to stimulate interest in what others are saying more than anything else

When our children were young we did talk around the dinner table, even at 9 or younger, but we were led by what the children wanted to say, so it was probably school or friend or tv related stuff.I remember a lot of laughing going on and the odd 'scrap'

We weren't thinking world politics or anything like that - just how to interact with family chit chat without tuning out and looking bored. Agree she is young to be having major conversations but we want to encourage her to take an interest in what other people (that she is close to) are talking about, to respond with more than a word or two when asked questions and perhaps to even ask questions of her own. As I say, nothing heavy but when a cousin she is close to is sittng next to her and talking excitedly about a trip she's just been on to somewhere my GD has been to, we feel she should at least be part of the conversation (not steering it or anything) and not just separating herself from it. I suppose it would be laying foundations for when she is older but she is certainly old enough to join in with chat about things that interest or involve her

At the age of 9!!?? - dream on, as they say! Please let this child be a child and do not insist that she engages in small talk!

I should think your dinner table conversation is ultimately boring for her and tuning out is an act of self-preservation!

I fear this may be a wind-up.

I agree, Ana.

She's a bit young to be having conversations at the dinner table! I'm assuming she'll answer any questions directed to her with brief answers? Sounds pretty normal to me for a 9 year old...