Birthday presents

Asking relatives if they would like a list is a good idea. Putting it on Facebook is er...presumptuous and beyond the pale as far as I am concerned!

We always ask DS what our DGDs would like, and he comes up with a list. We can chose our own gift or go with one of his suggestions. Thinking back it is probably 50/50. Anyway the girls are always happy with their presents

Rude!

My first reaction was Oh! but on reflection a sensible idea. Better to get something the child wants than something not wanted. Only problem is everyone gets the same thing. No need to get something on the list if you have an idea of something you think the child would like.

I have lived in a number of European countries, where the parents of the childs friends club together and buy one present from all of them. When they lived in UK they found that better than buying lots of little presents from indivuduals.

Ruth1958 - if your comment was directed at me... I do send small, surprise presents to Spain - occasionally.

I think it's a shame as it means the giver can't get that buzz of pleasure when the gift is a big hit.

Plus, surely children need to learn that they can't always get what they want?

I cannot see the problem with a parents list for small children. Parents know what toys/possessions the children have too much of and what they are showing an interest in.

DS & DDiL always asked us to give DGC clothes when they were small. They were the last in their peer group to have children and were inundated with outgrown play equipment and toys. Strangely they did not often have clothes passed on.

I hate buying gifts where I have no guidance about what would be suitable or have not already discovered something I know would be appreciated.

We use "Giftster" and update it when we have ideas. You can look at it and see what people would fancy at any time (by invite initially).
Saves loads of confusing phone calls especially at Christmas and the recipient still doesn't know what people may have chosen.

Well i think its ok to offer people to a wish list (or wedding list) if they ask, but it is rather rude to thrust it at people who havent asked ( eg in wedding invitation!)
I have to say my grandchildren's have a much better idea than me what sort of things they'd like so Im always grateful for suggestions.

I can see the point of making an Amazon list for an older child, especially if the child makes it themselves, but I can't see why a three year old would need a list of anything TBH. My grandchildren got what I wanted to buy them (the whole point of being a GP IMHO) until they hit an age where they genuinely knew what they wanted and even then, it would have to be something within my budget and what i considered suitable. Most three year olds seem to appreciate the cheap and cheerful toys the most in my experience as they haven't developed the snob value of things yet.
If i put a list on Amazon requesting birthday gifts I'd get short shrift from friends and family as we're all somewhat inured to being "bloody grateful" for anything someone thoughtfully bought for us. But then, we're old

'Sensible' is always the 'go to' excuse for just about any kind of boorish behavior. As someone already mentioned, this is the mother's wish list, not the child's.

Now, if she really wants to be 'sensible', suggest she pick a generous sum and charge everyone admission! She can use the proceeds to cover the cost of the party and to buy junior's present...and because she's so clever and frugal, she'll even have enough to buy a little something for herself. (and yes, I'm being sarcastic).

We all have amazon wish lists in the family which makes present buying so much easier, but no-one is obliged to buy from this list! If anyone asks what someone wants they are referred to the wish list. Not seen it done on facebook though which goes to a much wider audience and does seem to be pushing it to all and sundry. Not keen on this but wouldnt call it bad manners - just a sign of the times!

In a way its a good idea ...if GPs are on a pension or limite income, they will be able to find something their GC will love to get for a price they can afford, rather than buying something they think the child will like and see it tossed on the floor ! A case in point ..I saw my neighbour a couple of summers back shopping with her grand daughter who was about 8 ...and bemoaning the fact she couldn't find those plastic intertwined bracelet things ...so, next day I was going down to the coast for the day and decided to look in the shops ...found what I thought was the thing ...bought two, and luckily posted them through their post box next day ...anonymously ....only to discover they were totally the wrong ones ! How was I to know !! .....I have no idea what's in or out with small children and toys are expensive ! and she may have been asked by others to put it online so they can shop online for the items ! Different times !

Some years ago I made the decision to give money for birthdays & presents at Christmas (we've 9 Grandchildren). Although we have close contact with their parents (and seek advice when choosing presents) this has worked out really well all round since the GC know they can depend on a set amount and are usually saving up for something around their Birthday. The plus for us is that this halves the stress for us of finding the right thing.

We always work to suggestions - for adults as well as children and, always send Christmas present list requests out in October.

I just think that putting the list on Amazon restricts the choice.

First I've heard of thIs but, on reflection, rather like it. I can choose to either find it helpful or completely ignore it. My son constantly despairs of the excessive number of cuddly toys D2 has and I have chivvied him over this but (when I see them) I kinda take his point. Certainly I understand that we should all be grateful for ANY gift and I'm sure we are but.....hadn't thought of this.....maybe duplicates are confusing and perhaps even 'disappointing' - need a more appropriate word for this - to a child. Yes.....on reflection, I would peruse such a list positively. Huh! This decision has just made me pleased with myself in that I'm not such a stuffed shirt and traditionalist as I think. Hallelujah! There's hope for me yet.

I think I'd see this from another angle than most. I'd rather be given a list (especially if it was not even directed at me) to give me a better idea of what the kids actually like to play with.

You are allowed to decide whether to buy from it or not, but I know in my family we (along with everyone else) ask the parents what the kids are liking or what they need anyways. So a list just likely makes their life (and mine) easier instead of answering the same question many times to family/friends.

Many GP friends that I have get upset at the parents when their gcs are not wearing the outfit they bought them or have the toys out that they got them. Maybe they don't like them because they never asked! So yes, get the gifts you want to give gc, but have no expectation of what your gc or their parents do with them. My daughters mother in law acts like this to her. Gets extremely bothered when she is not made a huge fuss over gifts they never even asked for and is actually quite overwhelmed by toys taking over their house. It's a good problem to have I suppose considering the alternative, but this may be another reason for lists, to prevent unnecessary "stuff" everywhere, especially if it's something that can be very messy.

Outrageously bad mannered! Not to mention putting pressure on people to actually buy a present. I for one have for years told all that are dear to me that I do not need presents for birthdays or christmas as it has become so crudely commercial to me. Created by the very people who put a birthday list on facebook! But each to our own.

Ask the parents - more personal

If anyone asks me what I'd like for my birthday or Christmas I'll happily send them an Amazon Wish List. On the occasions where I need guidance to buy for a friend or family member I'm happy to receive suggestions whether verbally or in the form of a Wish List. Everyone's life made easier!

BUT to my mind if no suggestion has been asked for it is rude to provide a list.

My son always send me a link, not for himself but for my DIL and GSs. I don't see a problem. Just because there's a link you don't have to purchase from Amazon. You know what they want and you can shop around then for the most reasonably priced one.

Oh dear I must be out of touch! My way of buying a present for any of the grandchildren is to ask parents for ideas but also to think "what would help the child learn next?" My presents are usually "educational".
Board games for counting (and social) skills, a watch or clock to help them tell the time, shopping till for money skills, lots of books, a volcano kit, chemistry set, art and craft materials, a butterfly farm with live butterfly eggs, a subscription to children's Aquila magazine.
The presents are usually "successful" and enjoyed and help develop an interest in something.
Am I a bit too arrogant - thinking I know best?

Smashing a birthday cake Ruth???
Never heard of that! And when Mum or Granny has sweated blood over the damn thing it, I could not imagine anybody being so STUPID !

I think you'll find we do think it's greedy when a 'bride' with a couple of children and a house full of things does provide a list...or even worse money for their 'honeymoon'. And possibly 2 or 3rd partner..cynical Moi?

What's wrong with a small surprise present in the post....it's only Spain!