Has she had a near drowning experience at all? Maybe in the pool?
First suggestion: Use one of those suction animall mats to stick over the plug..
Second sugestion: Buy a large washing tub and put it into the bath.
Third suggestion: stop trying the shower. She may not like to force of the water touching her skin. Some children find it somewhat painful.
Fourth suggestion: fill the bath with loads of shaving foam, let her wear a costume and colour the foam with food colouring. Let her play in there.
Hope you find a solution. It must be tough.
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