I completely agree with you AMT101, you were not in the wrong, it's a great pity the mothers didn't tell the children themselves to stop and let others get past. I think your daughter is afraid of the nastiness that can happen at the school gate but although you can both make up you do have a point of view
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Children and scooters
(70 Posts)Hello all, I would like some opinions please.
I was on the way to pick up my granddaughter from school. On the way the path was narrow and two youngsters were scooting towards me. We couldn't all get by so said to them you should wait. With that the two mothers yelled they're only 5. I said you should be teaching them to be polite. I then got threatened with you should watch it. I carried on and got my granddaughter and we walked home. When my daughter got home from work I just started talking as normal and she said I've had a complaint about you and one of the women who obviously knew who I was had texted her to say something - but didn't mention the threat you should watch it.
My daughter sided with them and said I shouldn't tell other people's children off. I told her all I said was you should wait and the others shouted at me.
I ended up saying I'm not being spoken to by you like that and walking out. I still feel aggrieved that she sided with them.
What do people think?
Lilyflower - where are five year olds supposed to "scoot"? On the road? Amt101 - these children have not been taught what to do when they meet someone on a narrow pavement but it would probably have been better to try to make them aware of it in a more good humoured way and not to have reprimanded their mothers! I would have stood my ground, like Anya, and then said something less antagonising. Someone mentioned the "playground mafia" and she's right, it's alive and well - among the mums! Make up with your daughter, she was probably sounding off in the heat of the moment and may well have been worried about what would be said to her next day in the playground. It's now blown up out of all proportion.
Amt101....your post illustrates the stereotype of the newer helicopter generation. Now that these already entitled youngsters are becoming parents themselves, some tend to behave very rudely, particularly towards elders. Not surprised that the five year olds have no manners since the mothers don't have any either! You did nothing wrong and your daughter is sadly mistaken since she wasn't there and the texts are mere hearsay. Stick to your guns and no apologies needed. If you show them some gumption, maybe they'll learn some respect!
With regard to children and young mothers, manners are out of fashion these days. I do not agree with letting children do as they like but I appear to be in a minority.
My husband is disabled due to a stroke. When we travel on the underground it is heartening that people are generally considerate and give up seats for him, and it's usually a young adult that's up first. However, I notice that young mothers expect their children to have a seat each and they never help.
He is very vulnerable and won't go into a supermarket on his own because of small children running about. Like the OP, I have been told, "They're only children" when I have suggested that perhaps they could mind they don't knock someone over.
Sadly, I go home with the thought "nasty little brats" in my mind.
I don't give up, though.
Oh dear the state of things. Sadly apples don't fall far from trees! So many parents are rude that children have no chance to learn anything else. How would they know? Politeness helps the world go round like nothing else!
You were in the right and children should not be on the pavement with scooters. But good luck with trying to argue with the entitled generation!Your nlt consolation is in thinking of the misery they will suffer when their own children grow up and treat them as they have been taught to treat others.
amt101 I think you have been caught out by modern life. Discipline ideas have changed (we know that from what teachers can do at school about bad behaviour) and ideas of politeness have also shifted people will instantly stand up for their children and not tell them they deserved a clip round the ear which might have happened when we were young. The lady who texted your daughter didn't have to see her face to face or speak to her on the phone. Make it up with your daughter as soon as possible and then forget about it I know why you are upset but its not worth falling out with your daughter about.
Oh they were 5. I would have let them scoot past.
I don't like the sound of the woman threatening you but to be perfectly honest, I'm sceptical about that.
I don't know enough to comment on the rights and wrongs of the situation but I can't help thinking that the mother who texted your daughter to tell tales on you was being very childish.
It was an incident. It was over. But obviously she couldn't let it go.
As children learn by example, the best course of action would have been to set an example to these young children(and their Mums) by allowing them to pass. I'm afraid it's going to get anyone's back up if they are critisised for their parenting techniques.
It's the mothers telling tales that gets me. Why did they feel the need to tell your DD and make an issue of it. The heightened sensitivity of people these days is just unbearable. Your DD should tell you not to worry about it and not make you feel like you've committed a crime.
I may have missed something here, but no matter what happened with the children, you then walked out on your daughter when she was discussing it with you?
It seems that everyone is being quite hasty over something that is quite minor.
These things can blow up but hopefully you can talk to your daughter about why you left so suddenly - she may in fact have changed her views if you had been able to tell her calmly what had happened, that you had been threatened.
Do hope that it all resolves amicably.
?
I think you were quite right to check the children, AMT101. I have done this in the past when some children were about to barge through . I said "Wait a moment please" and they did , to let me through . This problem is the same as parents charging up to school to complain to the Head because their children have been disciplined in class. Whatever happened to the good manners we taught our children ? I am proud to say that my son and daughter have followed on the good manners they were taught to their own children. I check them too when they don't say please and thank you. Sorry if I sound old fashioned but I am a believer in good manners and courtesy and not entitlement .
If the children had stopped and they were little what was their crime? That they were scooting side by side? For that you told off the children in front of their mothers and then told off the mothers. Neither is OK. If the parents are present you talk to the parents. Nicely. With a smile and maybe a bit of a joke. If everybody had stopped a "Oh, dear they should really do something about this path. Mind if I pass through?" to the mothers would have defused the situation.
Now your daughter has to make apologies on your behalf and fears that the other two mothers would jump on the first occasion to tell her daughter off!
God help you if you complain about the little princes and princesses, teach them respect and care for other pedestrians and then people would not complain.
A few years ago I stepped down from a bus, mother occupied with a buggy and allowed the toddler to clamber down himself, child promptly ran towards the road and me sticking my arm and leg out to the side was all that stopped him from running into the traffic. Mother turned and grabbed the child from me and glared as if I was about to abduct him, no thank you at all.
I think I your daughter is taking their side as she is probably aware of how these things seem to escalate nowadays and wants it nipped in the bud. Not saying she is right in having a go at you though. These things can blow up out of all proportion, mother's falling out at the school gates etc.Some childrens' parents take the moral high ground if you say anything about them.....being judged on their parenting skills I guess! I would let it blow over with your daughter, talk again when you both feel calmer. Sometimes you can,t put yourself mentally in a situation like this as it is a spontaneous reaction at the time and behave accordingly.
I have young grandchildren and expect them to be considerate of others just as I tried to teach their mothers to be. I expect those 2 mothers were deep in conversation and weren't looking ahead. I agree with the others that as one of the mothers concerned knew your daughter's phone number there might be repercussions at school. It doesn't take much for the children to pick up on the parents vibes and start a bit of bullying.
The mothers texted your daughter to complain about you like she was your keeper/owner or something. Ridiculous behaviour and very childish of them. They are teaching their children it is okay to ride on the pavement and ignore other pavement users as many older bike riders do and also that it okay to be disrespectful to other people. I would have said to the mothers, 'Pavements are for pedestrians i.e. walkers. People using wheels need to give way. Thank you'. I would not stand for my own daughter telling me off either.
Perhaps you could write to the Head Teacher and explain what happened and maybe ask if a note could be sent home asking if those riding bikes/scooters to come to school could be respectful of other pavement users.
I always stand my ground and then they have to stop, or slow up and go round me. I've been doing this for years and no one has hit me yet (though there's always a first time).
At 5 years old (I know from experience of 4 scooter riding GC) they are more than capable of controlling these machines. So I think it's better than they learn to avoid people rather than us jumping out of their way. Tha way the onus is on them and in the unlikely event of me being hit, they are in the wrong.
I have more trouble with teenage boys riding at top speed along the pavements and coming up behind me with no warning, bells, etc.. Those I do shout at 
I sympathise with you but seeing as the mums of the 5 year olds took offence to the point of telling your DD says it all. I would forget it but continue to teach my GC good manners. 5 year olds are old enough to be told that if they're on a footpath, they must stop for people who are walking in case they bump into them.
Reminded me of a child/bike scenario a few years ago. Walking with my DD back to my house, see a little 5-6 year old riding her bike in the road, no parents to be seen. I explain to the child she would be safer on the pavement because of the traffic and walked up our drive. A week later I received the most abusive letter through the post from the parents! So abusive that I rang the police. They were straight round and took it away to try and get fingerprints.
I remember being very shocked and upset that a caring comment could be so misconstrued as to elicit such a disgusting letter. So now I ignore the behaviour of kids in general ......
Am I the only one who is thinking that a footpath is for pedestrians? I would never dream of telling children to stop using scooters on a footpath, but I would hope that parents would give their children guidelines - no matter what age they are - in the correct way to behave on these pedestrian footpaths. In other words, if there is/are pedestrians, then it is up to the child to stop the scooter and wait for the pedestrian/s to pass them. This would, in an ideal world, solve many of the problems, but again it is up to the parents to give their children the guidelines of good manners. When encountering parents who obviously don't care about anyone else, I usually begin to wonder if they themselves were ever taught any manners!
Bloody playground mafia the mothers are worse than the kids.
Your daughter should however have supported you, you are her mother. If she is more concerned about her bitchy mates let her get on with it.
Not worth falling out over though amt101 
I'm with Norah and think maybe waiting for the children to pass by would have been the best option. I know the children were't being terribly polite but children are children. When I pick my three up (sadly they can't scoot or cycle as they lives miles away from school) there are loads of children who have cycles and scooters and you would think they had opened a cage when they come piling out of the school yard. Actually I think its great that children are scooting and cycling to school rather than being dropped off and picked up in cars. It just makes me sad that my three can't join in the fun.
Try not to get into playground scraps with people many decades younger than you (5 years old).
I might have said to the children to carry on, or waited for their mothers to say something, if they were right there.
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