Really upset about this

Yes, I have heard it and would be very annoyed if it was addressed to me.
It might well cause me to start behaving like a toddler, if I was in the unnatural environment of a hospital at the time.

I am not a nurse but have worked with elderly people, many of whom had dementia. I did not speak to them patronisingly, neither did I lose my temper.
(I am not criticising Serkeen for losing her temper. It is entirely different when you are the patient's relative.)

sorry, should have said - what Elegran says is a good suggestion - in fact probably vital.

I will repeat what I and others have said. Tell someone more senior if they are giving him more water than he should have - and also if they do other things which you feel are not appropriate. There will be someone in charge of the ward, wearng something that makes her recognisable.

This link may help and there is usually a poster somewhere on the wall denoting different colours of uniforms:
www.uhnm.nhs.uk/patientsandvisitors/Pages/Whoyoumightmeet.aspx

The HCA should not go against instructions regarding fluid intake either.

Serkeen the very old lady in the bed next to me when I was in called the nurses day and night about every 15 minutes, usually for not much at all. How the nurses kept their patience was a miracle and perhaps they did sound patronising as FarNorth says, but it was better than losing their patience which seemed endless.

Have you never heard nurses speaking to, usually older, patients like that FarNorth

Actually, they usually use your first name which annoyed my MIL no end; 'come along now S, aren't we hungry today?'

'Now then, Mr Serkeen, we can't have you overloading yourself with fluids now, can we. Doctor's orders! Your nice wife will be in later to see you, do you want me to tell her that you're misbehaving?'

If I was a patient, spoken to in that patronising way, I'd be very annoyed. (Obviously I don't know if that is happening or not.)

Speak to your DH as a sensible adult and ask him to take responsibility for doing as the doctors have instructed.

Does your husband understand why his fluid intake should be kept down?
It seems very odd that he behaves quite so badly. Is that how you'd expect him to behave, in this situation?

Is there a fluid intake chart being filled in? It is up to his doctors, and whoever is in charge of the ward, to insist that nursing staff stick to the instructions.
It's not up to you to sort it out for them.

I find it hard to credit that nurses are going against doctors' instructions.
Have you checked your DH's notes for the fluids limit? If there were a NBM(nil by mouth) sign above his bed, e.g.before an op they would not disregard that no matter how much fuss he made.
At the risk of sounding unsympathetic someone (medical) has to make it clear to him that having a strop will get him nowhere and the ward staff, nurses, HCA's and those taking the tea trolley round MUST abide by the doctors' instructions. Or they are being unprofessional and risk disciplinary action.
Be firm.

Not all the people looking after your husband are nursing nurses (if you see what I mean). Some are nursing assistants who are there for the more domestic side of it. They wear different uniforms. A proper medically trained nurse would not contravene a consultant's instructions. The nursing assistants may not be trained in the medical side of things, but they do get training, and they are still under the same discipline as the others, and someone should be making sure that your husbands treatment is done as planned.

I will repeat what I amd others have said. Tell someone more senior if they are giving him more water than he should have - and also if they do other things which you feel are not appropriate. There will be someone in charge of the ward, weraing something that makes her recognisable.

Hope you have a good day, serkeen, whatever you decide to do. Your husband too

Yes when I say Nurses I do mean the OBS nurses, perhaps they are not classed as nurses? thank you for pointing that out Jane10

Most nurses have been brilliant, I could not do their job, the tasks they have to undertake are horrid. We will be buying the nurses a lovely present each if we ever get out of there!

Thank you all for your support, this was not a subject I wanted to speak about with other family members as I did not wish to add stress to the situation.

I really hope that today will be a good day for us.

I am very grateful for all of your contributions

Most likely the people doing the drinks runs are not actually nurses but health care assistants. I have certainly found them to be kind and more likely to be on the patient's 'side' than the nurses and less likely to be kept in the picture re the care plan.

"Nurses nowadays..."

Oh dear.

Thanks Jane10 that sounds like good advice.

jalima1108when I go and visit him the nurses do tell me that he is mis behaving, they feel sorry for me that I have to put up with the childish nonsense. I even stayed the night last week, slept in an armchair to help him stay in control of his fluid intake, the nurses were very happy that I was there because it meant less work for them because it is very stressful having him calling the nurses at the top of his voice for tea and water

Elegran it saddens me that you feel that it is un believable that the nurses do not adhere to the Doctors orders because believe me they don't and they explain to me why and its because of his behaviour. When I confronted his nurse about the extra tea she was making him that he should not of been having she told me that he is not in prison!

Nurses now a days are no way what they were in the past, they don't carry much authority, you do get the odd one that will put their foot down with him and I am grateful for those nurses but the majority of nurses are very soft with him.

A strange situation, the nurses always stick to (medical) orders so why would they not be firm with your DH on this?

I haven't met a nurse yet who would go against the consultant's wishes to appease a patient.

'Now then, Mr Serkeen, we can't have you overloading yourself with fluids now, can we. Doctor's orders! Your nice wife will be in later to see you, do you want me to tell her that you're misbehaving?'

I agree with farnorth

If it were me, I'd go in again tomorrow, apologise for losing my temper and explain that it was only because of my anxiety for his health. I'd ask him to please try to keep to the fluid intake he's been told, as it'll help him to get better.

It's understandable if he's been feeling a bit bolshie, tho, after staying in hospital so long, especially if you are not being given clear information.

Serkeen tell the doctors what you have told us about the nurses and ask them (the doctors) to insist that the nurses follow instructions.

Someone is making excuses or twisting the truth in this scenario, Serkeen. I don't know who it is, and it really doesn't matter to me, but I just DO NOT BELIEVE that nurses can't cope with a patient being upset with them over a medical requirement, or that they are willing to defy a consultant and risk a patient's health for want of a bit of firmness. One of the first things that a nurse is taught is stick to the treatment prescribed, and the next is that what is right for a patient is not always going to please them.

Leave him to stew. Don't take it to heart though. He's not well and you're stressed out. Go in on Thursday - not quite the end of the week.
It might be difficult to open the conversation so, as I said bring some sweets or maybe juicy fruits? A bowl of freshly prepared strawberries would be something he wouldn't get in hospital?
Do something nice tomorrow.

jane10 the refreshing sweet is a brilliant idea! why didn't I think of that, thank you, yes he does feel thirsty but needs must, you kept to your regime even though you felt thirsty because to not do that would have been silly, which is why I did get upset with my husband because he simply was not keeping to it.

Hi Elegran thank you for your advice, The Doctors do tell the nurses about the fluid restriction but they ignore it, especially when he starts moaning and groaning at them, a Nurse explained to me that if they refuse to bring the water to when my husband asks, he get upset with them.

All a bit awkward between my and my husband now that I lost my temper, as explained he sent me off home and said see you end of the week, he hasn't even called, which he was doing every evening.

I am confused now about just what is happening with the water. He has been ordered to drink a certain amount, and presumably is well aware of that, but the doctor has told you he is consuming about twice what he should.

Either the nurses are not keeping to instructions and giving him refills to order - in which case they should get a rocket from the consultant and the charge nurse and be more strict with him in future, or he is going behind their backs and getting extra water for himself, in which case HE should be getting a rocket from the consultant, the charge nurse AND every nurse on the ward.

"he asks the nurses for water and they just bring it to him! even though I have asked them not to do that." It is not up to you to instruct the nurses, it is up to the doctors to make it clear what the regime is. Back off on the nurses and speak again to the doctors, telling them what you just posted.

Where is your husband getting all the extra fluid from, the bathroom tap? If the nurses are giving him a jug with the correct amount of water in, and keeping an eye on him to see that he is not exceeding it, and telling him how much he can drink and why then he will be drinking a suitable amount. The coloured jug idea is a good one, if they don't do that, then you could suggest it.

I don't think he needs an apology from you for telling him some home truths. If he doesn't help himself then no amount of help from the staff will work. Now that you have made your point though, you would do well to be tactful (unless he continues to work against his treatment)