Charlie Gard

paddyann your post would be the perfect way to end this thread....

Well said paddyann. (need a well said emoticon!)

Well said, paddyann.

paddyann thank you - a beautiful, illuminating and very moving post.

I said the same thing at the start of this thread,Mothers in particular ALWAYS feel guilt when a pregancy ends early or a child is born with a diaablity,we always think its something we did ...or didn;t do that caused the problem.I have had many losses of pregnancies ,a baby who died after her birth ,a prem baby who survived and I believed that in all of those I must be to blame .Did I keep working when I should have rested? Did I eat the wrong things? Should I have slept more/eaten differently/exercised/not exercised etc etc etcWe who have lost babies judge OURSELVES and we always find ourselves wanting.Doesn't matter how many times or how many people tell us it wasn't our fault we wont believe them and the guilt will last a lifetime.I hope Charlies parents get all the support and help they need and that life will be good to them after the horror of the past year .I hope they stay together and have a family and live happy fulfilled lives.I hope the public who are so judgemental keep quiet and let them get on with their lives without passing comment on their every move.I wish them peace of mind and hearts that are healed .I wish them joy and smiles and all the things that they think will never happen again to them ,I wish them love and the ability to remember their son with smiles .THE old adage of walk a mile in someones shoes before condemning them is particularly apt .....dont think you know better/would act differntly ,just hope you never need to find out.

A lawyer friend repeated the the words of a paediatrician to her.

When a child is born with a genetic problem, the parents, no matter how rational, always have a sense of guilt that perhaps their child is suffering because of something they might have done, quite inadvertently and this frequently governs their responses to everything to do with the child's welfare after birth.

I think the same applies to parents whose child has been abducted and murdered or suffers any mishap when away from them.

I would never ever judge a parent in that situation. No matter how unreasonable their behaviour. The difficulty is that medical staff have to make decisions based on the medical facts, no matter how much they sympathise and understand what is behind the parent's distress and at times what seems their irrational behaviour.

Sadly it is so Devro but there are times when we need to understand why some do let them in. Take the Moor victims family, the mother of Leslie Ann kept giving interviews , going on tv, there was nothing to gain but she coped with her agony that way. Keith Bennetts mother kept giving interviews desperate to know where her son was buried . The parents in this tragedy we're taking on the establishment and turned to the media , I cannot and will not judge one one these I have mentioned, their suffering is too painful to think about really, for me I respect which ever way they choose to work through the grief . I hope they can do it and stay together .

I agree AB. The best route in all these matters is to never let them in in the first place unless they can influence in a positive way. But, as you say, sex and distress sells newspapers.

Devro, they didn't bother me because I didn't think for one minute they would get what they wanted, I didn't think the judge would rule for the parents army or no army.

I agree the parents should grieve in their own way but if that way is not to step back I respect it. I believe people have to work through grief in a way they choose not in the way others think they should

My earlier post about the media was lept on, I just stated a fact, I don't believe you have never heard the two rules of the press, 'sex sells' and 'if it bleeds it leads'

Good grief they couldn't control their eagerness to interview the families of the Moors Murder victims or Fred West's children , does anyone believe they will back away from these parents ?

The dear boy has gone, all the arguments, discussions as to the rights and wrongs of what should,/ shouldn't have been done are surely now completely redundant and unnecessary.

Love and empathy to his family.

He will be forever young, and forever loved.

The protesters may not have influenced you Annie but they did hope to influence the decision by their presence and their 'intimidation' outside the Court and the Hospital, otherwise why be there?. They wanted the Hospital and Court to agree to Charlie being allowed home with a very specialist team with him, no matter the cost to him or other children. But it was not in Charlie's interests for that to happen and both the Court and Hospital resisted that pressure. The best thing the parents can now do in my opinion is to step back from it and grieve for their child in their own way. I rather fear though they will already have been cajoled into media contracts for their story. Sorry, but I find this whole public airing of personal business very distasteful but I accept that is just my way.

Sorry but I cannot agree , no one could have made this worse, the baby died, no one was responsible unless anyone thinks the army lot caused the hospital or the judge to make a decision they would not have made if the army lot hadn't existed. I can't understand why some have such a thing about the protesters, they didn't affect me in the slightest.

There is general agreement on this thread that Charlie's parents have experienced months of anguish. That seeking to raise funds in the hope Charlie could benefit from treatment offered by an American doctor, they were desperately trying to help their much loved baby.
So far as Penstemmon's comments about media hype and 'grubby' journalists go, on agree with those comments. I'd go further in expressing sadness that the Actions of the American doctor and Charlie's Army have made this tragedy even worse.

I did not lecture anyone,Annie I posted a reply to your opinion.

Yet you give me a lecture for saying the actions of the press and media are naturally the outcome

Annie please stop reading things into posts that have NOT been said. I did not say that the parents were different.
My objection is the media hype and manipulation of facts in this sorry situation by 'grubby' journalists and the fact they are only interested in a child's death when it will sell for them. I fully understand why..I do not like it or agree with it!

Penstemmon, I said naturally I did not say it was acceptable . Did you not know when a child is murdered the family are hounded , it's what happens , fact, as sure as night follows day , I am just stating what happens and not that I agree with it,

I haven't read or heard anyone say these parents are different to any grieving parents, perhaps you would like to say where you have heard or read it?

Annie it should not be 'naturally' that the media wants to use this couple's terrible loss for their commercial gain. Whilst it seems this couple sought (or were encouraged to seek) publicity to help 'win' what they thought would help their child they need privacy now, surely?
This is not a special case. Charlie was not more loved or precious than any other sick or dying child whose parents managed their personal trauma differently. The loss of a child, of any age, is a dreadful thing to ever have to deal with. For that I have great sympathy for Charlie's parents.

There are links on Mumsnet indicating the unscrupulous behaviour of the media in vamping up this "story." Makes you sick.

Naturally tv companies will want to interview them and newspapers will want to buy their story . Perhaps they will cope with their grief by starting work for the foundation quite soon. Grief is a very personal emotion and people cope differently

A complete change of scenery for the parents away from the media would be a really good idea, once the funeral is over.

Me too, the vultures will be circling to get a slice of the 1.3 million donated, if not directly by mail, could be the 'trusted 'team who might oversee the foundation as proposed by the father.

"uman nature does not change. Moi a sceptic, sadly yes.

So very sad. I feel the parents have so much still to contend with. I truly hope they are given the space to grieve quietly - I think they will need support to do so, I hope it can be away from the public gaze. I am sure unscrupulous people will be lining up to offer money for 'their tragic story'. I hope they have people around them who can protect them at a time when they are so vulnerable.

It's awfully sad, but I am glad the whole sorry saga has ended, for both Charlie and his parents. No good came out of it and I hope his parents can now be given the support they need to grieve and eventually move on.

RIP little man, and may your parents be given the comfort that they deserve.