What would you have done?

Well done gillybob for standing up to this ignorant bully. As others have indicated, I would definitely report the incident to the school. At the end of the day this idiot was verbally abusive to you, and even more seriously, to a child, and within the school grounds. No doubt the family is 'known' to the school authorities and this may well be another nail in the coffin to prompt them to take action. (Good luck to them though!) I wouldn't be surprised if the idiot's child has stolen other things in the past.

You have done the right thing Gilly, leave it now to the childs parents to deal with. Sorry but I think the Police have better things to do than have to come out and settle a dispute whose cap it is. Best left to the school and parents.

Let's hope so chewy and Jallima .

Sorry AmMaz as far as I'm concerned it's finished with. If the parents/school decide to take it further it's up to them. I don't want to get any more involved.

Yes, I agree with Chewbacca that it may just 'appear' again, having been 'lost'.

Report it. To the police. It's likely theft. Why would you not?

Yes, glad you were able to have a word Gillybob - you really did go the extra mile. Well done you!

Well done Gillybob , you've done all that you possibly could in this situation. It doesn't look as though the boy will get his cap back but the school are aware of the situation and, you never know, it might just "turn up", stuffed down the back of a radiator at some point in the future.

Just a final little note to say I had a short meeting at the school this afternoon . The office were aware of the situation as the boys mother had been into school to ask about the cap . I explained what I had seen and heard and the secretary said she would inform the parents. We both agreed that there were little chance of getting it back but ( although professionally she made no direct comment) she said the school were aware of the sometimes questionable behaviour of the father concerned.

GillyBob - You know you did the right thing. Please do tell a senior member of staff about the incident. Any primary school I've worked in would have wanted to know what you saw and heard.

Agree with all who say tell the school. Do it discretely if you feel awkward about it, but I bet the school know there's a problem and will be grateful for any information

My son-in-law takes my grandson to football practice every Saturday morning, and there is one child there who bullies the other children. My SIL has a kick about with the kids before the lesson and has had to stop this child on several occasions from kicking other, smaller, children. A couple of weeks ago this child's father threatened to punch my SIL if he didn't stop 'picking on his son'. When my SIL told him what was going on he threw a punch, which thankfully missed my SIL. Now we know why the child is a bully!

Well done to your daughter BlueBelle, what a horrible experience for her.
You did well Gilly , you bravely did what others would have ignored. I also think it's very upsetting.

Very upsetting
What future does that boy have with a father like that.
I would speak to the head teacher about this, let them deal with it.

I think you were very correct Gillybob well done you handled that really well but like most on here I think it should be followed up, myself I would have found out who the polite boy was and told his parents and let them do the rest or gone into the office although I m not sure they would have done too much but you can't stand back in life and let bad things happen My daughter nearly got beaten up yesterday as she intervened in a man punching his wife/girlfriend she said people were watching and a row of taxi drivers were just sat looking she went up and shouted at him to stop, he turned to start on her but luckily someone must have called the police as they drove up just at that moment but she was so angry that no one had tried to stop him

Well done Gillybob I hope I would have done the same.

However, I would leave it at that. The other boy has nice parents, they will hug him and make him feel better, and he will get over losing the cap whereas the boy who now has it probably feels bad and embarrassed about it and about his father, and if it is taken further, he will be even more humiliated.

Sorry I've just seen this, so it's a bit late in the day, but I wanted to say well done, Gillybob. That was really brave and good of you. At least the children involved saw an adult setting a good example.

I do hope you've let the school know about this, and that you're not still feeling bad about anything. You should be quite proud of yourself.

As the father in question is known to be a nasty, aggressive psiece of work, he would probably have no compunction about intimidating the head teacher if she/he tried to remonstrate with him about his behaviour in the playground. The HT is most likely well aware of his reputation and thus hesitant to tackle him. But is it possible for him to be banned from the school playground? If there's still a LEA in your area, they might be able to sort that out.

I have been horrified at how much the staff at my grandchildren's school have to put up with. They tried to stop mum's arriving in the morning still in their PJ's as it was a bad example for the children, and tried to stop car parking in clearly marked no parking areas for safety reasons. Both attempts ended in verbal abuse and threatening behaviour.
When I sit in the waiting room of the local health centre and read the notices about abuse to the staff there it seems it is the norm now. Is it too late to try and stop it?

We make the mistake of trying to apply logic to illogical adults, who are usually aggressive too. Any father who is not willing to provide proof like that, clearly thinks it's ok to teach his son to steal, and to lie. Unfortunately many parents are like this, I am appalled at what I see and hear while working in a school. Many schools have Police liaison officers attached to them and informing aggressors that you are involving them usually focuses them, but the school should definitely be involved so it goes on record and they know exactly what sort of people they are dealing with.

Gillybob to my mind the quote "it only takes good men to stand by and do nothing for evil to succeed " ..... seems to sit well in this situation, you did the right thing and certainly make the school aware.

You did the right, and brave, thing, Gillybob - I wonder if I would have been as brave ...

I think Jalima's suggestion is a good one ie try to speak to the parents - if only to reassure them that their son is also brave and polite.

I think you did the right thing in standing up to this man Gillybob and I agree that it would be advisable to let the school know what happened on behalf of the polite little boy as he might have got a telling off for losing his cap, also for the boy who was believed to have stolen it. Who knows what his life is like with a father like that and the school may have to intervene if there other situations regarding this child in the future.

It is good to read the responses by so many gransnetters. How sad that of the many who contribute to a request for advice there are a few who can only respond in a negative or hostile manner.

A difficult situation and not much more you could do in reality. would follow up by reporting it to school office and hope they will sort it out but once the cap has gone home it will be hard for school to deal with either. A horrid man who is setting an appalling example for his son.

Meant to say 'finders isn't keepers'.
It's stealing. Remember banning my two taking prized possessions to school because they either got lost, stolen or broken!

Gillybob, it's god to see so much support for you here. I still believe this incident should be reported to the head teacher. It may be that a brief letter is the best way of ensuring the head knows before the end of term. If the head wants s to discuss it, she can get in touch with you. I wouldn't try and speak to the parents of the little boy who clearly believed it was his cap. I'd mention to the head that I didn't want to aggravate the situation by doing that but hope that school will take the action the see as appropriate.
I'd be surprised if this child and his family aren't 'well known' in school.