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Direct approach begging

(106 Posts)
Imperfect27 Fri 21-Jul-17 13:22:31

I know live a pretty sheltered life. I seldom encounter homeless people unless I visit a nearby city, but then I do respond and I always give something to street collections too.
Last night I met a best friend for a meal out. We elected to sit outside as it was such a mild evening and the terrace was on the high street. We were the only ones sitting there when a man came up to us and handed us a flier. He didn't speak initially and I just thought he was advertising something local - there was a street theatre production unfolding in front of us at the time too. However the flier - which was badly printed - explained that he and his family are financially in need of support. It also depicted two girls.
I think I went through a whole range of emotions - surprise, discomfort (embarrassment?) guilt, confusion ... as it gradually dawned that he was directly asking for money. Like me, I could tell my friend felt vey uncomfortable. We both gave him some coins and my friend tried to engage him in conversation to say he needed to seek financial assistance from the local authority. He said "I only speak French!" in a way that simply closed down conversation and he seemed angry. He looked 'foreign' - it went through my racing mind that he might be an illegal immigrant. Once we had handed over the money, he also indicated that he wanted the fliers back. I doubted if he was 'genuine' as did my friend, but we felt we had given him the benefit of the doubt. We saw him stopping people up and down the high street several times over the rest of the evening.
I just felt so taken aback and, to be honest, quite intimidated at the time.
Anyone else had this type of experience?

Spangles1963 Thu 27-Jul-17 20:30:16

I've experienced this a few times at a coffee shop that I frequent. A woman comes in and goes to every table asking for money. I won't give anything to her on principle,because she is rude and abusive if you refuse. I also witnessed her kicking off on a bus because a disabled person on crutches couldn't get past her enormous holdall in the gangway. She started shrieking at him,calling him a 'fucking stupid cripple'. No one pulled her up on it, I suspect because she's homeless. But being homeless doesn't give you the right to be obnoxious to other people.

durhamjen Tue 25-Jul-17 17:18:47

Two badly printed fliers that he wanted back?

Lorelei Tue 25-Jul-17 17:15:21

Aside from all the serious issues around genuine homelessness and street begging etc - if this guy could afford to have flyers printed perhaps he should've got food with that money instead!

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 21:13:44

Do what you want, petra. I really do not care what you think.
The Big Issue is a very good idea, giving people a small income and some pride in their ability to start fending for themselves again.
Showing me a photo of an expensive car outside what you consider to be a hideous house, says more about you than about the Big Issue sellers. Quite sad, really, that you think you need to do that.

petra Sat 22-Jul-17 21:07:32

durhamjen
I will look through my photos to see if I can find some with the very expensive English registered 4x4 Mercedes, Audis, etc parked outside the hideous house.
The gangmaster drove a Mercedes Maybach. You couldn't buy one today for under £177,000.
But you carry on believing what you do, but believe me, they are laughing at everyone who buys the Big Issue.

Jalima1108 Sat 22-Jul-17 20:55:19

It makes a difference, the woman down the road is always grumpy-looking and steps forward as you go to walk past which he doesn't, but I have already given my money to him anyway.

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 20:45:15

Mine has a nice smile, too, Jalima.

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 20:44:39

I think it's a good idea to give the Big Issue seller any money you want to.
Apparently they get 50% of the sales price, which is now £2.50. They need to sell a lot to get decent money.

Jalima1108 Sat 22-Jul-17 20:23:23

He just has a very nice smile!

Maggiemaybe Sat 22-Jul-17 20:22:44

I think it is, Jalima. But sometimes rules are made to be broken. smile

Jalima1108 Sat 22-Jul-17 20:15:22

So do you think giving the Big Issue seller £1 every week is wrong? I don't always want the magazine (sometimes I do) and he can sell it to someone else then.
Or is that against the rules?

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 20:07:18

I don't understand that, JanaNana.
Selling The Big Issue is supposed to stop people being homeless. It's supposed to give them a bit of security, a bit of work and an NI number. What is wrong with that?

JanaNana Sat 22-Jul-17 19:30:14

We have a couple of female Big Issue sellers on our high street of eastern European appearance ...the same ones for several years. We always used to buy a copy until watching a TV programme about the sale of Big Issues. It showed the difficulties of individual people trying to buy sufficient copies to sell daily as others were being dropped of in vans to buy in bulk....apparently it is now classed as self -employed and entitles you to a NI number and all the associated benefits. Originally the Big Issue was solely to help homeless people, but apparently the rules changed. Saw this on TV about two years ago. Now give to the Salvation Army instead.

Maggiemaybe Sat 22-Jul-17 19:24:42

I do buy the Big Issue, but only from the "regulars" I've come to know.

Maggiemaybe Sat 22-Jul-17 19:23:16

I used to give to everyone begging on the street, on the basis that if they weren't genuine that would be on their conscience, not mine. A family member who works with homeless people told me always to give to charities or food banks instead, so now I do. The more money that goes to fraudsters, the less gets to those in genuine need.

pamdixon Sat 22-Jul-17 19:13:38

I ask the local homeless guy in my high street, in London, if he wants a cup of tea or coffee, or something to eat. Sometimes he says yes, and sometimes he says he's had enough - fair enough! I appreciate his honesty. I never give money to people, but have been known to tell people who are begging in cafes etc. that they are breaking the law and that if they don't go away I will call the police - that usually does the trick! Whatever nationality they are, they all understand the word police. Not being uncharitable, but these people can be very intimidating, but then you end up feeling guilty in case you have not helped the one and only truly homeless/starving person. no win situation!

Phoebes Sat 22-Jul-17 17:53:08

I do hate it when posters have a go at each other online! I find it quite unnecessary and upsetting. That said, the best way to help the genuinely homeless is to donate food, clothes etc. to one of the organisations which help them. I don't think that just handing over money is any help at all. In Oxford we have several centres which help the homeless with food, beds, showers etc and a health centre with volunteer doctors. The churches have food collections once a month on a rota, which are taken to the local homeless cafes. At Christmas we collect new hats, scarves, gloves, underwear, chocolate etc, which are wrapped up and given to homeless people as gifts. I do sometimes buy the odd tin of dog food as they keep the dogs for protection. Homeless people are often seen as fair game for bullies and the presence of a dog often puts them off. My daughter had a friend who was a nice privately educated girl from a good background who ended up on the streets for various reasons.

Jalima1108 Sat 22-Jul-17 17:50:34

Coco, yes, i agree, however, I had promised to donate some money to a homeless person and he was the first one I saw! So, although I do buy the Big Issue or always give the seller my 'trolley pound' even if I don't take the magazine, this other young man seemed to be living on the street.

I do think it is better to donate money or goods to the Sally Army or perhaps the Women's Refuge or whichever charity for the homeless you prefer to support.

Direne3 Sat 22-Jul-17 17:34:56

We have a significant problem here in the Southwest, and although we ourselves live in a city in which here is so much help available to the (genuinely) homeless, this article typifies the sort of thing that goes on in Devon. www.devonlive.com/how-to-really-help-the-homeless-in-the-town-where-beggars-earn-130-a-day/story-30434086-detail/story.html

NfkDumpling Sat 22-Jul-17 17:11:14

Yes the Big Issue does do good work, but it has grown exceedingly large and I did hear somewhere a while ago that there are scams going on where a boss somehow acquires copies of the Issue for resale by his underlings. Which would explain the big cars. I didn't altogether understand how it worked but the Issue were aware of the problem and trying to stop it. I think it was due to their having grown faster than their accounting could keep up. Hopefully it's sorted and isn't happening now. I think their rules have changed too so that people can work for them for longer.

Chewbacca Sat 22-Jul-17 16:41:53

Apologies durham, I meant that the Big Issue does do good works, of course. Fat fingers I'm afraid! So we're not at such differing points of view afterall.

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 16:24:35

"And I don't think that I've seen one single post that states that the Big Issue does do good work. "

Sorry, but I think the Big Issue does do good work, so we are obviously starting from different points of view here.

Chewbacca Sat 22-Jul-17 16:16:27

Do whatever you feel comfortable with durham! No one is forcing you to donate, or not to donate. And I don't think that I've seen one single post that states that the Big Issue does do good work. What I have seen is that some people have their suspicions about the validity of some vendors. But you do like to pick up on snippets that catch your eye, don't you.

durhamjen Sat 22-Jul-17 16:08:53

The latest Big Issue has interviews and articles about Dunkirk, in case anyone is interested.

I prefer to look at the good that the Big Issue has done rather than be suspicious of the sellers.
Not many Eastern Europeans in my village, but the Big Issue seller is.
Do I have to ask her if she arrives in a big car, and refuse to buy a copy if she does?

Chewbacca Sat 22-Jul-17 16:06:38

Durham is there a rule that says that Big Issue sellers cannot be dropped off from expensive cars?

Nope, there is not. But it raises suspicions when they do. And there aren't any "rules" about how people react to that occurrence either.