Bit upset about this

If you don't trust her you can still have a passable not involved relationship. Just watch p and q.

Sail on as if it never happened.

She may have been anxious, pre-menstrual, under the weather and reacted out of character.

Bit of a dilemma for me now..

Now that I have seen this side of my DIL, were she can be purposely mean. I am a bit afraid to trust that she will not do it again.

I do not know, how to be with her now, the trust is gone and I am now not sure how to be around her ? ? Or what kind of a relationship

Glad it turned out OK

So glad you've been able to move on from it, both of you.

Hi everyone, just wanted to give an update for anyone that might be interested.

My DIL has broken the silence and has spoke to me now.

We happen to meet each other at a Farmers Market and she just acted as she normally would but made a little more effort to speak to me, which was nice.

Obviously I too acted as normal and spoke as normal to her.

Soooooo glad it's all over.

Thank you for your support, soo lucky that it was there for me and it definitely made a huge difference in terms of dealing with it all.

Advice is always brilliant, always a mix but that is a good thing.

So from the bottom of my heart Thank you

There are stricter rules re catchment areas these days and if your nearest school is a good one you are lucky it was not over-subscribed Serkeen bearing in mind your DGD is out of the catchment area.
Was the place at your preferred school confirmed in February because that is when the offers are made (anxious time for parents)?

Perhaps your DIL thought the school nearest to home would be best, particularly as she has a younger child to cope with as well.

as your grandaughter is such a lovely. caring polite child her PARENTS are obviously doing a great job of raising her...I agree you need to step back from interfering in this girls schooling .

As there have pointed out what happens if you are unable to fulfil your commitment to pick your DGD up Serkeen?
And does your DGD actually live in the catchment area for her new school, or is her place based on your address?
(You mention "travelling")
Bearing in mind your husband's recent long spell in hospital and ill health. How will you manage?
When her parents applied for her place they would have given the requisite information I assume.
Finally, you don't say, but I assume you are talking about Primary school? Children can miss out on social occasions, play dates, friendship bonds even after school activities if they live far from their classmates. But you will have taken all that into account?
Finally, it is of course my personal opinion, but I think I am not alone in this, we really need to back off sometimes and let our children bring up their children only offering help, like gillybob did when asked.

Why on earth are you arranging the child's schooling? My mother hates my youngest's school (we love it, as - most importantly - does he). I'd be livid if she'd interfered to change it.

Have you really committed to taking the child to and from school for 7 years? That's crazy. What happens when you can't do it?

I already have big girls knickers, any bigger and I could sail a boat with them.
It would be nice to sit back and wear a thong now and again.
Families!

If your DIL was too lazy to make the effort regarding your DGD's school, what did your son do about it?
I think it is entirely out of order to go over parents' heads. Whose children are they?
Not yours
Thank god my parents or in laws never took such a high handed approach. They'd have been given short shrift!
Or do you one from a culture Serkeen where the grandmother is the matriarchal figure in the family?

You obviously don't like your DIL, maybe with good reason, but she is in your life and if you want a good continuing relationship with you grandchildren you have to get along with her.

Sounds a bit as Gillybob describes her DIL and the DGC schooling. Gilly did the work to the appeal etc because she is just better at it than her DIL. I didn't make this up, Gilly said so, and we applaud her for it. What is different to this poster?

I did not want to 'interfere' jalimall08but I could not help but be concerned that my lovely caring polite granddaughter would have to go to a really bad dysfunctional horrid school, I just cared enough to do something about it..it is only interfering if the parents did not want me to make it happen, but they did not want her to go to the other school either, but DIL was just too lazy to make the effort.

I would not interfere in their schooling.

However, I suppose we are lucky in that their local school is very good.

KatekI disagree that its not my place but thank you for your comments

I understand your thinking Serkeen but it's not your place to make this decision. Regardless of what you feel about DIL's thinking/reasoning re school, it is still her and your ds' choice no matter how much you love dgd. It seems that you do not have a very high opinion of your dil which is not going to help you going forward.

Families are complex and characters clash and these things unfortunately do happen to the best of us.

My final decision on the matter, and I thank every gransnetter for their support, is to let it be.. I spoke to my son this morning and cleared the air with him and will now as I say.. Let It Be ..

Hi Katek the reason I organised schooling for my granddaughter is because my DIL could not be bothered to make the effort and find the best school.

DIL said she does not want to travel and she will put GD just in the closest one. The closest one had a bad ofsted report but did not bother DIL

So YES I AM GUILTY OF CARING FOR MY GD enough to scouse the best school and I am even willing to commit to picking her up every day because apparently too far for my DIL.

I agree with * Jalima* ignoring/ cooling off without discussion is an unwise route to go down.

Jalima1108, I could post the sky was blue and you would find fault, we disagree no matter my post. I believe that is the point of different opinions to a thread.
Norah I have no idea why you posted that as I have only posted what I think, which may differ from your viewpoint, in response to a couple of your posts.

So why are you finding fault?
A smile does not make your post any kinder.

Serkeen you have to be careful of your own and your DH's health but if your DIL is usually tricky to deal with then be very careful because you do not want to risk jeopardising the relationship and possibly not seeing your DGC. Ignoring your DIL for a few months could mean you not seeing your grandchild/ren.

I'm with Loopylou here-why is OP arranging dgd's schooling? It would seem that the parents were happy to put child to local school-as is their right. Why then is OP overriding their wishes?? As another poster says there's possibly more going on than the babysitting incident alone.

Well, presumably daughter in law will be wanting her babysitter to be able to park?

Serkeen you should tell your DIL that you want that visitor's permit back immediately

I don't understand you? The visitors parking permit belongs to DIL.