surprise parties

my children and i organised a surprise 40th party for my husband [now ex but that's another story]. it was during the school holidays so we baked and cooked all morning - packed it away at lunchtime as he came home for lunch and got it all out again when he'd gone.
i had invited two couples who lived in our road [we had loads of parties with all of them] and i told them it was going to be a surprise.
he came home from work and so i told him to go and have a bath having left decent trousers and shirt on the bed for him to wear.
the children and i then unpacked everything and sorted the party out - the guests arrived while he was in the bath and we all sat there waiting.
he was very surprised and we had a wonderful time.
when my 40th arrived i was sent out to spend my birthday money and came home to the sight of my children cooking tea - again it was in the holidays and they took it in turns to cook tea.
the monkeys laid the table as usual and, just as we were sitting down, the doorbell rang! brief annoyance was quickly gone when my parents walked in to say happy birthday and surprise!
it was my 70th birthday a few weeks ago and i was asked to book a table at a place of my choice which i did. so my daughter, two grandaughters and i had a lovely meal. i did quite well as i had a voucher for a free main meal so had a lovely steak - the most expensive thing on the menu.

I helped to organise a 70th birthday dinner for an old school friend at a castle near her home. The organiser first wanted it to be a complete surprise but was persuaded that the birthday girl would prefer to give some thought to her hair and clothes. So we reached a compromise. The birthday girl was told date, time and venue but only that the organiser would be there. The rest of us dropped in one by one as drinks were served. Birthday girl loved it!

I have organised many surprises for people, family and friends. I surprise my mum occasionally by flying down and knocking on the door! But nobody has ever surprised me ? I would like someone to care enough about me to organise something really special.

We did a small (family) surprise party for my mum when she was 60. (She's now 93.) Although of a robust constitution, she nearly had a heart attack! Never again!

No I wouldn't like that.
Once had to tell my daughter when her ex partner was going to take her to Las Vegas for a few days. He asked me not to tell her but I knew she wouldn't like that. She was so pleased I told her too, but kept it a secret and went along with it all. Said it was a nice break but didn't like it though.

My family know not to organise a surprise party for me because I would HATE it for all the above reasons.
However, for my 60th my husband told me he had a surprise treat for me. I was told to dress smartly and it was a trip on the Orient Express. We had an excellent lunch whilst travelling to the coast and back. What an amazing experience it was. I am 70 next year and I wonder if he can beat that!!

I hate the idea! I also feel awkward accepting presents of any kind, unless the GC make me something of course when I am delighted.

My OH had in mind to do this for my 50th, luckily my daughter told him I would hate it, so we had a very nice, pre-planned family meal out instead. It's my 60th in a couple of months, and he keeps trying to organise a party, because it's what he likes, but I hate larger gatherings in general, so I keep telling him no!

I can't imagine many women would like a party where everyone else had got dressed up etc, and there you are in your gardening clothes (or similar).

It's the lack of control from the woman's input that makes her feel uncomfortable with a surprise birthday but WOW!! a celebration in your honour. That's something to be treasured. You must be loved if you had a good turn up of people.. just a thought.

Last birthday, I was being taken out as a surprise for my birthday. I was taken to another friends birthday meal!!!' Who shares the same day as me. I was furious to say the least. All the other guests sang happy birthday to me and I didn't know any of them, except the birthday boy and his wife. I refuse to allow him to take me out for a surprise ever again.

We've recently returned from my brother's surprise birthday party. He's a quiet man and I don't know how he felt about it all. I think the day went very well, with a lunch in a local restaurant. All quite low key really and just family. I think his wife found the perfect balance in her arrangements.

My daughter and SIL threw a surprise birthday party for me yesterday. A lot of organisation and expense had gone into it. I felt flattered and pleased that my daughter and SIL wanted to do it for me. I also felt somewhat embarrassed because I don't like being the centre of attention but actually that was only for a few minutes on my arrival and when I blew the candles on the cake out otherwise it was like any other party. Except everyone knows my age now!

I might be being sexist here but I believe men enjoy surprise parties more than women (generally) perhaps because they are used to having things organised for them whereas women are usually the organisers and therefore feel less comfortable with arrangements made for them ? Just a thought .......

I would hate it, too, and have made that abundantly clear to dds - and they know I mean it! They are arranging one for Dh soon - at least it's going to be a lot bigger than the minor do he's expecting - but he's more sociable and easygoing than I am!
However big the birthday, a nice family meal is all I would ever want, and I'd even be happy to cook it myself. Such a lot of fuss about birthdays - I dare say I'm a grumpy old hag but I just can't be doing with it.
The trouble with surprise parties, IMO, is that all too often it's what the organisers want, and what they think the recipient ought to want, whether they do or not.

We arranged a surprise 30th party for our son along with his gf. I hated the lead up to it as I'm hopeless at keeping secrets so had to limit seeing him in case I blurted it out. On the day of the party I was so tense and then at the moment of surprise I started throwing up and was ill all i but with the pressure of the secret. Never again

MissAdventure your post conjured up a wonderful picture

Although I have been a guest at one and invited to one I did"nt attend I would not like one for myself. I think you have to know someone really well to spring this on them. Even if you are dressed up and taken out on the pretext of going somewhere else I would still squirm at the idea. No matter how well it's intended it's just not for everyone. A lot of people who would like a surprise party themselves cannot understand the people who would not.

I would HATE a surprise party. I would feel caught on the back foot and the party would be over before I had regained my equilibrium.

I would be OK if I was told there was a surprise planned for me, but not told what it would be. With an imminent birthday, how to celebrate it was being discussed with with DD and DH. She suggested arranging a surprise event and Dh's immediate response was 'No, she wouldn't enjoy an unexpected surprise.'

I have never had a surprise foisted on me and would love to have so much thought and work put into something for me - but there you are.
I have organised surprises for others, with great success. Maybe one day i will be on the receiving end...

I haven't actually done a surprise party however I have done a surprise weekend away with six friends.
It was for my husband's 60th birthday.
I had a packed case stashed away in a friends car.
The story was that we were going for a meal with friends,
so husband was suitably dressed

We were to be staying at converted priory.
On our arrival one of our friends dressed as a monk directed myself and a completely bemused husband to our apartment.
Our friends had arrived beforehand and decorated with balloons etc.
As it was late September they had lit a lovely log fire and my sister had cooked a delicious birthday meal.

DH had a lovely weekend and said it was a wonderful surprise.

that's really funny Miss Adventure!
that's exactly how I felt Twice as nice, -what woman wants to be surprised when she hasn't washed her hair, or got something nice to wear? everyone took photos and I was in my old clothes!! and worse because it is in my house! when anyone comes I always clean, make beds, shop and prepare really well, so why would my husband think I would like it to be totally unprepared? it is just out of character and he can't understand my reaction, he thinks I'm being selfish and over-reacting. Sorry just have to get my annoyance and hurt off my chest!

I was told about a surprise party for a young woman, where everyone waited quietly in darkness in the lounge. Aunts, uncles, grandparents et al. She came home with her fiance, they stripped naked in the hall, and entered the lounge with him giving her a piggy back and her spurring him on..

I well remember going to a surprise party for the husband of a friend. He came home early, but luckily most of us were there and we hid in the kitchen. He had come home from work early as he had a very bad migraine. We all went home

I had one arranged for my 40th . My daughters kept me out whilst ex husband got people to the house. Daughters brought me back still in the work clothes I'd had on all day. I had to try and wash and change hurriedly to join everyone downstairs and felt grubby and rushed and some people I would have invited weren't there! It wasn't what I'd have really wanted although I pretended to be excited and surprised. I'm a good planner and would prefer to parties myself but didn't want to be ungrateful.

I ve never been to one or had one arranged for me but like you I wouldn't be that good with surprises My eldest daughter is even worse than me and can't bear anything she is prepared for