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surprise parties

(52 Posts)
Catlover123 Thu 07-Sep-17 18:55:13

Just found out my husband had arranged a surprise party, and I hate surprise parties! He can't understand why I should because he says he would like one! He did organise one for me once and I had to put a brave face on it and pretend to enjoy myself, and didn't have the heart to tell him I hated it, so he thinks I loved it! what do you feel about surprise parties?

MissAdventure Thu 07-Sep-17 18:57:17

I've just posted in another thread that I found out that friends were arranging a surprise party for me
I'm afraid I sabotaged their plans by mentioning that I was going out on my birthday. (I wasn't!)

BlueBelle Thu 07-Sep-17 19:15:38

I ve never been to one or had one arranged for me but like you I wouldn't be that good with surprises My eldest daughter is even worse than me and can't bear anything she is prepared for

TwiceAsNice Thu 07-Sep-17 19:19:13

I had one arranged for my 40th . My daughters kept me out whilst ex husband got people to the house. Daughters brought me back still in the work clothes I'd had on all day. I had to try and wash and change hurriedly to join everyone downstairs and felt grubby and rushed and some people I would have invited weren't there! It wasn't what I'd have really wanted although I pretended to be excited and surprised. I'm a good planner and would prefer to parties myself but didn't want to be ungrateful.

BBbevan Thu 07-Sep-17 20:05:25

I well remember going to a surprise party for the husband of a friend. He came home early, but luckily most of us were there and we hid in the kitchen. He had come home from work early as he had a very bad migraine. We all went home

MissAdventure Thu 07-Sep-17 20:28:55

I was told about a surprise party for a young woman, where everyone waited quietly in darkness in the lounge. Aunts, uncles, grandparents et al. She came home with her fiance, they stripped naked in the hall, and entered the lounge with him giving her a piggy back and her spurring him on.. grin

Catlover123 Thu 07-Sep-17 20:42:42

that's really funny Miss Adventure!
that's exactly how I felt Twice as nice, -what woman wants to be surprised when she hasn't washed her hair, or got something nice to wear? everyone took photos and I was in my old clothes!! and worse because it is in my house! when anyone comes I always clean, make beds, shop and prepare really well, so why would my husband think I would like it to be totally unprepared? it is just out of character and he can't understand my reaction, he thinks I'm being selfish and over-reacting. Sorry just have to get my annoyance and hurt off my chest!

Cherrytree59 Thu 07-Sep-17 21:19:47

I haven't actually done a surprise party however I have done a surprise weekend away with six friends.
It was for my husband's 60th birthday.
I had a packed case stashed away in a friends car.
The story was that we were going for a meal with friends,
so husband was suitably dressed

We were to be staying at converted priory.
On our arrival one of our friends dressed as a monk directed myself and a completely bemused husband to our apartment.
Our friends had arrived beforehand and decorated with balloons etc.
As it was late September they had lit a lovely log fire and my sister had cooked a delicious birthday meal.

DH had a lovely weekend and said it was a wonderful surprise.

Lisalou Thu 07-Sep-17 21:33:42

I have never had a surprise foisted on me and would love to have so much thought and work put into something for me - but there you are.
I have organised surprises for others, with great success. Maybe one day i will be on the receiving end...

M0nica Fri 08-Sep-17 09:32:59

I would HATE a surprise party. I would feel caught on the back foot and the party would be over before I had regained my equilibrium.

I would be OK if I was told there was a surprise planned for me, but not told what it would be. With an imminent birthday, how to celebrate it was being discussed with with DD and DH. She suggested arranging a surprise event and Dh's immediate response was 'No, she wouldn't enjoy an unexpected surprise.'

JanaNana Sat 09-Sep-17 09:08:57

Although I have been a guest at one and invited to one I did"nt attend I would not like one for myself. I think you have to know someone really well to spring this on them. Even if you are dressed up and taken out on the pretext of going somewhere else I would still squirm at the idea. No matter how well it's intended it's just not for everyone. A lot of people who would like a surprise party themselves cannot understand the people who would not.

goldengirl Sat 09-Sep-17 11:20:50

MissAdventure your post conjured up a wonderful picture grin

Nanabilly Sat 09-Sep-17 11:22:14

We arranged a surprise 30th party for our son along with his gf. I hated the lead up to it as I'm hopeless at keeping secrets so had to limit seeing him in case I blurted it out. On the day of the party I was so tense and then at the moment of surprise I started throwing up and was ill all i but with the pressure of the secret. Never again

Witzend Sat 09-Sep-17 20:44:14

I would hate it, too, and have made that abundantly clear to dds - and they know I mean it! They are arranging one for Dh soon - at least it's going to be a lot bigger than the minor do he's expecting - but he's more sociable and easygoing than I am!
However big the birthday, a nice family meal is all I would ever want, and I'd even be happy to cook it myself. Such a lot of fuss about birthdays - I dare say I'm a grumpy old hag but I just can't be doing with it.
The trouble with surprise parties, IMO, is that all too often it's what the organisers want, and what they think the recipient ought to want, whether they do or not.

Jomarie Sat 09-Sep-17 22:14:06

I might be being sexist here but I believe men enjoy surprise parties more than women (generally) perhaps because they are used to having things organised for them whereas women are usually the organisers and therefore feel less comfortable with arrangements made for them ? Just a thought .......hmm

Bluebell123 Sun 10-Sep-17 07:47:53

My daughter and SIL threw a surprise birthday party for me yesterday. A lot of organisation and expense had gone into it. I felt flattered and pleased that my daughter and SIL wanted to do it for me. I also felt somewhat embarrassed because I don't like being the centre of attention but actually that was only for a few minutes on my arrival and when I blew the candles on the cake out otherwise it was like any other party. Except everyone knows my age now!

inishowen Sun 10-Sep-17 09:16:24

We've recently returned from my brother's surprise birthday party. He's a quiet man and I don't know how he felt about it all. I think the day went very well, with a lunch in a local restaurant. All quite low key really and just family. I think his wife found the perfect balance in her arrangements.

minxie Sun 10-Sep-17 09:28:48

Last birthday, I was being taken out as a surprise for my birthday. I was taken to another friends birthday meal!!!' Who shares the same day as me. I was furious to say the least. All the other guests sang happy birthday to me and I didn't know any of them, except the birthday boy and his wife. I refuse to allow him to take me out for a surprise ever again.

damewithaname Sun 10-Sep-17 09:31:13

It's the lack of control from the woman's input that makes her feel uncomfortable with a surprise birthday but WOW!! a celebration in your honour. That's something to be treasured. You must be loved if you had a good turn up of people.. just a thought.

tonibolt Sun 10-Sep-17 09:31:40

My OH had in mind to do this for my 50th, luckily my daughter told him I would hate it, so we had a very nice, pre-planned family meal out instead. It's my 60th in a couple of months, and he keeps trying to organise a party, because it's what he likes, but I hate larger gatherings in general, so I keep telling him no!

I can't imagine many women would like a party where everyone else had got dressed up etc, and there you are in your gardening clothes (or similar).

radicalnan Sun 10-Sep-17 09:35:55

I hate the idea! I also feel awkward accepting presents of any kind, unless the GC make me something of course when I am delighted.

DanniRae Sun 10-Sep-17 09:44:12

My family know not to organise a surprise party for me because I would HATE it for all the above reasons.
However, for my 60th my husband told me he had a surprise treat for me. I was told to dress smartly and it was a trip on the Orient Express. We had an excellent lunch whilst travelling to the coast and back. What an amazing experience it was. I am 70 next year and I wonder if he can beat that!! grin

Sheilasue Sun 10-Sep-17 09:47:18

No I wouldn't like that.
Once had to tell my daughter when her ex partner was going to take her to Las Vegas for a few days. He asked me not to tell her but I knew she wouldn't like that. She was so pleased I told her too, but kept it a secret and went along with it all. Said it was a nice break but didn't like it though.

David1968 Sun 10-Sep-17 10:02:45

We did a small (family) surprise party for my mum when she was 60. (She's now 93.) Although of a robust constitution, she nearly had a heart attack! Never again!

meandashy Sun 10-Sep-17 10:04:38

I have organised many surprises for people, family and friends. I surprise my mum occasionally by flying down and knocking on the door! But nobody has ever surprised me 😢 I would like someone to care enough about me to organise something really special.