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New Kitchen Phobia

(110 Posts)
Iluvcruz Fri 22-Sept-17 20:41:24

Probably not the correct term, but I seem to have a psychological problem when it comes to deciding on my new kitchen.

Basically, I've waited over 30 years for a new kitchen (bringing up chikdren, limited funds, reluctant husband all contributed to delay). I am a very patient person (although dh would say I have "banged on about it" for 30 years) and have made do with mismatched shabby (NOT as in shabby chic) units (did once change the worktop and purchase an early range cooker (25 years ago)) and had an American Fridge freezer (same time frame - now defunct).

During this time I have scoured interior mags and kitchen brochures planning my dream kitchen. In the 80s I longed for a mahogany Edwardian kitchen with Laura Ashley accessories; the 90s saw me drawn to beech wood whilst in the noughties I favoured all out contemporary white gloss - all with obligatory island and breakfast bar.

Now we have both taken early retirement we have agreed now is the time. I fell in love with a Neptune hand painted wooden semi-bespoke kitchen which was coming out at around £35k. Dh nearly had a coronary and encouraged me to be more realistic (even though I had ringfenced this money)! Our builder is also a friend and both he and dh are pushing me towards a Howdens kitchen. Problem is I don't like the quality or the door colours. We are now in position of having ripped everything out bar the cooker and sink and work begins in earnest in two weeks. However I can't find a design I like (apparently kitchen too small for my beloved island, we have a couple of doors leading off limiting options, dh and builder hate bin drawers so that's out. Dh doesn't want any structural work done (walls knocked down/chimney breast knocked into - "can of worms)hmm. So I am feeling pressured to accept a kitchen I don't like because of timescales. We got several doors from Howdens today and none of the colours look right. I'm not usually a doormat but do compromise quite a bit. It doesn't help that dh doesn't really place any value on aesthetics.

I keep getting anxiety attacks about it and feel on verge of tears all the time and extremely depressed. I seriously think I am having some sort of "episode" linked to the fact that I have actually spent half my life planning the damn thing.

Any words of wisdom or comfort?

Blinko Sun 24-Sept-17 09:57:47

Heavens! Never knew there could be such a hoo ha about kitchens. We've had ours from new build in 1989, apart from having the cuboard doors replaced. I expect that by some standards, we are woefully out of date....shock

Jaycee5 Sun 24-Sept-17 09:55:23

Better to live with a bit of discomfort for a bit longer than have a kitchen they you will dislike every time you look at it.
It sounds as if the builder is having a bigger say than you are and that you are being ganged up on a bit so it is no wonder that you are getting anxious.
You have decided that you don't like the Howden choices so that decision has been made. Have a look online and find a few that you like and then try to look at them at a showroom. Spend a few days going to various places like Homebase, Wickes etc., narrow it down and then present them to the builder and your husband. It should only take a couple of weeks but give yourself as long as it does take. You may need to say firmly to the builder 'this is my kitchen and I won't be bullied into having something I don't want'. Then step away, calm yourself down, and move forward in a way you are happy with.

beekeeper9 Sun 24-Sept-17 09:48:10

Go to IKEA or better still let IKEA come out to you - my son is ripping his kitchen out at the minute and they are due to visit him this week to talk plan through together. The thought of £35k on a kitchen would give me sleepless nights - its not necessary.

Hildagard Sun 24-Sept-17 09:29:30

Howdens kitchens are great, have had two, obviously not at the same time!! Very flexible and hard wearing and you would have money for fabulous holidays with the change

durhamjen Sat 23-Sept-17 23:02:03

She needs the new kitchen now because they have ripped out the old one already.

GrandmaMoira Sat 23-Sept-17 20:51:37

You have waited a long time so why does the kitchen have to be done in a couple of weeks now? If you haven't decided on a kitchen yet, it will not be delivered that soon anyway. Have you booked your builder for then?
I found that builders usually insist on using the supplier they like e.g. Howdens, and it's hard to get a builder anyway, it took me a couple of years to find a builder to do my kitchen and he insisted on Howdens, whose kitchens are fine (it was only the salesman who measured up I didn't like).
If you are determined to have a special kitchen and have a reliable builder just live with what you have now whilst you choose what you want.

Greyduster Sat 23-Sept-17 20:51:09

My DD has a Howdens kitchen - it is large as kitchens go. She is very pleased with the quality of the units, but there were some fitting problems that they weren't able to fully resolve. This was not down to Howdens but to the builder responsible for their extension who slipped up with the dimensions on one wall. (Howdens were very helpful in trying to resolve these difficulties). Despite that it is still a beautiful kitchen.

whitewave Sat 23-Sept-17 20:39:01

Our Howdens kitchen is nearly a year old. First new kitchen for about 30 years and been extremely happy with it. We old aged it - so eye level oven and microwave. Eye level fridge and deep drawers which are highly recommended.

It is a small kitchen so had the most simple streamlined cupboards to ensure no clutter look. It works beautifully.

paddyann Sat 23-Sept-17 20:25:11

Margaret x seems I'm odd...again.I like to keep the house up to date,there have been walls taken down and extensions built the kitchen moved from one room to another and the wall between them knocked down so its now 2 rooms from where it started , and we usually get a new kitchen when we do these refurbs.I got slated for the number of sofas I'd bought on here before .Guess no one else is that house minded .This house was built in 1990 ,that kitchen style has long gone ....lol

MargaretX Sat 23-Sept-17 19:25:33

Do we have an edit function on GN?

MargaretX Sat 23-Sept-17 19:23:51

5 kitchens! I live in house built in 1980 and still have the same kitchen. its light oak surface with oatmeal doors etc

I love the colours and have had the work suraces done three times and all electrical appliances replaced several times.
I had so ittle money in 1980 but my kitchen planner told me to keep 1 metre space between sink and cooker and that squashed the sink a bit but he was right. Its a lovely kitchen to work in.

I had a small dining table on the other wall, but I've got rid of that and have 2 units in similar colour from IKEA and between them a kneehole -nothing. Where I keep my basket for plastic recycling etc I sit there as well for coffee with my lap top.

I have warmly recommended a kneehole space but my DDs don't listen as this is never popular with male planners who never work in the kitchen
Those corner cupboards are so expensive and I use them at my DDs houses but find them clumsy and a waste of space.

varian Sat 23-Sept-17 18:58:19

If you really want a bigger kitchen, although it means doing structural work, you should be able to afford that and a nice fitted kitchen if you have a budget of £35k.

The most important thing is getting the space right. Do not let your OH and builder rule it out. Ikea could do a lovely fitted kitchen for around £10k. Structural work will need building regs approval but don't let that stop you. Examine your options and get them properly costed. You have waited long enough.

mostlyharmless Sat 23-Sept-17 13:43:53

I agree that deep drawers are brilliant. Much easier on your back as you get older as you can see and reach everything easily, so less bending.

Corner cupboards are awkward things and the fancy (expensive) pull out carousels are a waste of space.

Keep it simple with standard sized units if possible as these are better value for money than narrower units.

I love our oak work surfaces but they need regular oiling and do get damaged by hot pans and wet areas round the taps.

Don't be rushed into too many compromises iluvcruz.

paddyann Sat 23-Sept-17 11:48:49

I love my high gloss kitchen its a vast improvememnt on doors that had paneling that things stuck in,a quick spray with window cleaner and a wipe and its lovely and clean .When I change again I'll stick with the flat gloss doors ,and I have 15 drawers that hold allsorts of things from t-towels and napkins to baking supplies like colours and cutters ,my spices are all in a drawer as are tin foils and cling films and freezer bags etc.Drawers are far more practical for so many things

goldengirl Sat 23-Sept-17 11:03:41

Have you asked friends / relatives who've had new kitchens. Even if they're not in your vicinity they might be able to give you the pros and cons of certain companies.
Also could you ask companies to see their work in a couple of homes where you can also talk to the homeowner?

I was very pleased with a Howdens kitchen I put into my mother's house and I liked the ideas from discussions with the Howdens store. I had a local person put it in and it was great.

Some years ago we had a John Lewis kitchen which was lovely. The contractor appointed by JL was superb and we also got him to put in a new bathroom on another occasion [not JL].

IKEA is certainly worth exploring as previously mentioned.

I'd love a new kitchen but at present couldn't stand the upheaval. I wouldn't mind a free standing kitchen but I've not thought through the pros and cons I must admit

I do like Corian surfaces and sinks though. Expensive yes, but in my view worth every penny. We've had ours for at least 20 years and they look as good as the day they were installed. Very easy to clean and in a wide variety of colours

NonnaW Sat 23-Sept-17 10:51:55

We live in a bungalow, and the original kitchen was a bit too small for us. When we retired we decided to swap over the dining room and kitchen. We looked around a few places, went to Homebase and sat with one of their planners but in the end we went with Magnet. We have white, with red worktop and I still love it. It has a wow factor which people comment on. DH fitted it himself, which saved on money, and as we still had a working kitchen he was not under time pressure.

Greyduster Sat 23-Sept-17 08:17:00

That should be 900mm not 700ml!! Like Nelliemoser I struggle with metric!

Greyduster Sat 23-Sept-17 08:14:24

Probably the best decisions we made in our kitchen were to have two 700ml 3 drawer units fitted in place of cupboards. They look good and are so much easier to get things in and out of than cupboards you have to stoop down to (especially with my back). The most expensive element were the two rounded corner cupboards which were a horrendous price but do give the kitchen a wow factor. We explored all sorts of colour combinations and in the end chose plain pale cream gloss. Unless you have a large space, strong colours will close it down. Because of the new layout, this is the easiest kitchen to work in I have ever had, and it cleans up in minutes. Good luck with it all - it's not easy getting it right.

Nelliemoser Sat 23-Sept-17 08:03:06

5 kitchens in 27 years? My mind is boggling.

My kitchen a new house in 1987 still works.
The cooker, sink, fridge, etc are all in exactly the right places for easy and ergonomic access.
We have had the units updated.
We have a table in the kitchen which seats 4 people. Now there are just two of us.
How many in your household now?
How much serious cooking do you do?

As you are so stressed I would seriously suggest you leave this whole project alone for a few months and look at it again in the new year.

(I have just looked at the brochure for our house with the dimensions of the rooms, They are all in "ft and inches" I haven't dealt in ft and inches for years now .) I am struggling with them. Metric systems rule.

grannycakes Sat 23-Sept-17 06:58:29

if you like Neptune try DIY kitchens - fantastic quality but much cheaper

seacliff Fri 22-Sept-17 23:23:35

We were on a much tighter budget, so got ours from wickes. I had 3 firms out to quote and give advice and their computer impressions of what it would look like. It shouldn't be rushed, ideas evolve once you find what's available.

We chose real wood worktops and good quality taps, and had our own local very skilled carpenter to fit it all, and adapt the units where needed. He also ordered us much better quality drawer interiors from a specialist supplier, pull out metal shelves etc. Love my pan drawers.

We took several months to decide, we were having an extension built also. We wanted an island originally, but i made up a temporary one from boxes, to same dimensions, and once it was there in the room with us walking round it, we decided it wasnt right.
You've waited this long, put your foot down, and although you may have to compromise, you must be happy with what you choose.

Nandalot Fri 22-Sept-17 23:12:43

Do try and give yourself time to choose what's right for you. I usually end up compromising and then regret it. Good advice on here. There seems to be something about builders and Howdens. I know Howdens will only deal with builders. Builders like them because the units are not flat pack. Our builder friend wanted us to do our kitchen with Howdens but I just didn't like any of the units enough. Decided to shop around and fell in love with the first units in the first shop we went into. They were ready built too. High gloss but I still like them Nanbilly. I also love my corner cupboard pull out. Saves me scrabbling about.
Decided to compromise on cost and not knock through to the adjoining breakfast room. Which part do I regret? The compromise.
Hope you feel less anxious soon and that you walk in somewhere and find just what you are looking for.

lemongrove Fri 22-Sept-17 22:45:04

I have heard that Howdens do a very good job.However, it's a kitchen at the end of the day, and you are investing too much emotion in it, because, as you say, you have craved it for a long time.
There must be one colour that you like, surely? Go safe and buy cream coloured? pale green or pale blue are popular.

paddyann Fri 22-Sept-17 22:29:37

Ive had 5 kitchens in this house in 27 years ,the last two were from Ikea and the quality was as good as some of the expensive ones.Go have a look theres a great range and you're sure to find something you like ...for a lot less than 35k ...I'd avoid Howdens they're overpriced for what they are ,even B and Q have better quality.Good luck and dont stress ,...and dont let anyone talk you into something you'll not be happy with

NanaMacGeek Fri 22-Sept-17 22:23:52

I think you are being given good advice. We had our kitchen completely gutted 5 years ago and I have been enjoying it's replacement ever since. We had several designers in and went through numerous design iterations with several of them.

We finally decided to go with a local firm that project managed for us, directly employing local labourers to carry out the work. They also supplied and fitted most of our appliances and ensured we had suitable guarantees. Everything was clearly costed, there were no surprises. There were things I wasn't prepared to compromise over (I wanted an island or peninsular unit that could seat 3), but found the pull-out drawer units just too expensive but can live without them.

I'm sorry, but if your DH doesn't care about the aesthetics and your builder won't do what you want, then don't listen to them. You have a healthy budget, your business will be welcome to whoever you choose to carry out the work.

I would take a deep breath, call a halt to proceedings and start getting designs and quotes based on your requirements. You are spending a lot of money on, what I believe to be, the heart of a house. Spend it wisely, get what you want and enjoy it, I am convinced you will regret so many compromises if you don't. Good luck.