An upset grandson

Your question was does anyone have suggestions about to handle this, well I'm guessing shortening or postponing your holiday is out of the question, so all you can do really is to talk to him a lot about his worries, with lots of reassurance ,but his anxiety is quite strong, so can you make sure he has an adult at school whom he can have access to, who can help to calm him. Can you give him a an itinerary of your whereabouts & a map for him to follow etc, anything at all that helps him to feel that you are not abandoning him, he may also be worried that something will happen to you & that you won't come back, you need to build his confidence, but like others I am surprised you would choose this time to go for any length of time & for it not to affect him

I think I would prefer to forego an extended holiday (if by that the OP means more than 4 weeks) if it appeared to cause so much distress to a child. I would be too worried anyway to enjoy it.

It's not just a case of a child beinga bit upset is it Baggs. If a nine year old boy has started wetting the bed and has shown other obvious signs of insecurity and distress, it's more than just being awkward or demanding.

According to the OP, the parents work very long hours; also they are divorced and have new families. It sounds like, in effect, the grandparents are now his parents. No wonder he is upset.

I'm with merlot on this. How can you do it to him .He needs the stability you have always given him. Sorry to be so brutal but I would not be doing it to my gs if I were the only bit of stability he has.

Are you certain the clinginess, bed-wetting and so on are because of your proposed holiday? Even quite secure children can have bad patches in their development.

Without knowing the child or his history (e.g. has he actually lived with you rather than with either of or both his parents?), I still would have thought nine was old enough for him to understand about you taking a holiday, even a long one.

Children do need to learn how to deal with being 'upset'.

I like the map and postcard ideas others have suggested.

How long will you be away for?

Can you set up regular Skype or similar contact?

Can you arrange for him to come out and join you for a weekend/half-term? - depending on where you are going

I think the key here, is how long are you going away for? If it is for a few weeks, it is endurable. I remember my ma went to the US to see her mother every few years and was aways for 4 to 6 weeks. I missed her, but I managed
If it is for longer than that, it sounds like a really tough deal for him, if he relies on you for stability

That's why I wondered what 'extended' meant. Poor little lamb - I assume you mean both parents have had further children with their new partners? He must feel he doesn't belong anywhere. Can you curtail your holiday?

I think you are right merlot. You are his stability. Tough, but true, by the sound of things.

My post will probably be unpopular but why are you doing this to him?

You say you have virtually brought him up and have been his stability. Now you're going away for a long period of time (by the sound of it) Now wonder the poor little chap is upset and clingy.

If he was your child and not your grandchild would you abandon him in the same way? Can you not postpone your extended holiday until he's a bit older?

I doubt Skype will cut it. He wants you there.

How long will you be away?

Hi Danae, not seen you on here before, welcom. (Is your name any connection with a HMS of that name?) Just a thought but are you doing a tour? If so you could buy him a large map and encourage him to track your journey and do some research together on the places you visit. Send him frequent postcards. Not sure about mobile phone charges from abroad but text him daily with your usual questions, how was school etc. Before you go keep reassuring him how much you will miss seeing him but say how much you and your OH are looking forward to this holiday and how much you will enjoy telling him about it when you see him. Do hope he soon feels calmer about things and that you have a great trip.