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But MIL was not in delivery room so HOW

(151 Posts)
Serkeen Mon 16-Oct-17 11:49:23

www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/family-relationships/new-mum-furious-after-mother-in-law-sneaks-into-ward-and-holds-baby-first/ar-AAtkgR4?li=AAmiR2Z&ocid=spartanntp

damewithaname Tue 17-Oct-17 10:42:02

Very wrong! Misuse of power. I wonder how this MIL would have felt if this had been done to her when she had her children?

trisher Tue 17-Oct-17 10:37:55

Ooo er me54 grin

Katekeeprunning Tue 17-Oct-17 10:35:02

My annoyance would be that the MIL was sneaky and went behind their backs

maryhoffman37 Tue 17-Oct-17 10:34:59

I held my first grandson before his mother did as she was still coming round from the general anaesthetic after her emergency caesarean. She was sad about that - not because I held him first (after her husband) but because she didn't. This might be a very vulnerable mother as my very sick daughter was.

maryeliza54 Tue 17-Oct-17 10:30:03

Well actually trisher I don’t think that it’s just being a doctor that gives you rights over your DIL’s wishes - being a MIL should be enough because what do these precious, entitled young women know with their silly ideas about bonding and their ludicrous ideas that they have some say in who holds their new babies and when?

trisher Tue 17-Oct-17 10:11:25

So if you are a doctor you should be allowed to see your GC regardless of the parent's wishes lemongrove? Are there any other professions this should be extended to? Nurses, teachers, builders?

maryeliza54 Tue 17-Oct-17 10:06:42

Your wilfully missing the point lemon so it’s not worth addressing your post. As for your next post, since when did you decide when a thread should finish?

lemongrove Tue 17-Oct-17 09:48:50

Time to let this rest ( in it’s own little ribbon bedecked cot)now?

lemongrove Tue 17-Oct-17 09:47:22

The new baby had already been held by nursing staff, the MIL was a doctor and was no doubt concerned about the situation and wanted to see the baby herself, big crime eh?

maryeliza54 Tue 17-Oct-17 09:41:49

It’s unbelievable how some posters are twisting things to excuse the totally unacceptable behaviour of the MIL ‘ Baby on its own’ ?? What on earth? It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of the DIL’s wishes - they were her wishes and she had a complete entitlement to them and to have them respected. What some of you are doing is completely exonerating the MIL because you think the DIL was wrong. BTW as far as MNHQ is concerned, the whole story was true and it was only deleted when the OP realised that the thread was too identifying.

paddyann Tue 17-Oct-17 09:24:17

Faye looks to me as if the inlaws didn't want to SEE the new mother being stiched up and concentrated on the baby,quite understandable I think.People make too much out of these things ,everyone is so precious nowadays and its quite silly.The baby was on its own,the mother being dealt with after the birth surely by any standards its better the newborn gets SOME human contact? Maybe its just me...I am excessively easy going and people cuddling my babies never worried me ,just as well as my babies all spent time in SCBU and much as I wanted to be there 24/7 it wasn't possible.Young women MAKE problems for themselves its easier to get along with people than make enemies of them

Faye Tue 17-Oct-17 04:17:05

The MIL overstepped the boundaries, she had no right to go into the recovery room uninvited. Surely most mothers, be they the MIL or the mother of the woman who has just given birth would not barge in uninvited.

This MIL overheard sensitive information and she shouldn't have been there in the first place, then she had the cheek to just pick up the baby again uninvited.

My friend had a similar occurrence over twenty years ago with her DD who had just had a caesarean and was still being stitched up when the nurse opened the door and invited my friend and DD's inlaws into the room. My friend was distressed to see that her DD was still being stitched up and again horrified to see how the inlaws rushed over to see their new grandchild without a care for my friend's DD. She said it felt as though her DD was an incubator and nothing more.

Norah Mon 16-Oct-17 21:15:45

maryeliza54, Right? To the point Mil does not trump Dil regarding Dil's child.

Madgran77 Mon 16-Oct-17 20:51:33

Well at least someone from the family was giving the baby a cuddle! Dad would be so worried and stressed, some moral support needed would be understandable...I doubt if MIL did this in any malicious way at all. An emotional time for everyone and I hope that they can all calm down, talk and move on...so sad if family relationships are soured and most of all for that new baby

Baggs Mon 16-Oct-17 20:33:59

I don't think anyone is really saying that the mil's wants trump the new mother's. That seems rather an extreme interpretation of people's scepticism about the details of the story and slight amazement at the blaring of it in public media.

maryeliza54 Mon 16-Oct-17 19:51:27

It doesn’t matter in one way if
the story is actually true - the basic principle is what matters and some of you think that what a mil wants trumps what the dil wants - dreadful

Bibbity Mon 16-Oct-17 19:39:49

Off this is true then I would escalate my complaint until She's was fired from the hospital at least. I would even threaten to sue the hospital to get it done.

That is a disgusting misuse of power and a woman that selfish, entitled and sneaky has no place in such a position.

I'd also inform her that I hope do she enjoyed her escapades because it would be the last time she would be allowed near me again or she'd need to be grateful she had medical training to fix herself.

Riverwalk Mon 16-Oct-17 19:14:18

I'm afraid I don't believe this story.

A doctor's swipe-card doesn't give access to all areas, particularly the maternity unit. So unless the MIL works on that unit I think it's all made up.

Baggs Mon 16-Oct-17 19:10:31

OK, I looked at the link in the OP. Seems hubby's in the dog-house too. IF what is reported is accurate.

MawBroon Mon 16-Oct-17 19:07:13

This thread has got sillier and sillier like Chinese Whispers.
Do we know the facts?
And do they matter or is it much more fuss getting agitato about something about which we know so little.

Baggs Mon 16-Oct-17 19:03:11

Where is the original source of this story, please?

Baggs Mon 16-Oct-17 19:01:50

Who told the MIL that her DIL was in labour? Couldn't the parents just have kept schtum about it?

harrigran Mon 16-Oct-17 18:59:10

Dear me, such a fuss. I had my second baby at home and MIL was the first to hold him followed by DH, sometime later when he was clean and dressed I had a little hold before putting him in the carry-cot.
When my first GC was born DIL's aunt and her partner got there before any of the close family, DS was furious as they did not just live down the road but a several hour train ride away. Not the end of the world but not very nice for DIL's mother who was being shown photos of the baby and she wasn't able to visit for a couple of weeks.

Violetfloss Mon 16-Oct-17 18:55:36

*above board
Stupid phone

Violetfloss Mon 16-Oct-17 18:54:54

If what she did was ok and above bored there would be no grounds for her to lose her job.