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But MIL was not in delivery room so HOW

(150 Posts)
Serkeen Mon 16-Oct-17 11:49:23

www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/family-relationships/new-mum-furious-after-mother-in-law-sneaks-into-ward-and-holds-baby-first/ar-AAtkgR4?li=AAmiR2Z&ocid=spartanntp

elena Mon 16-Oct-17 12:35:39

According to the story, the MIL was a doctor and let herself in.

She overstepped boundaries, for sure.

judypark Mon 16-Oct-17 12:39:24

MIL was a doctor at the same hospital and used her swipe security card to gain access to the nursery.

paddyann Mon 16-Oct-17 12:55:37

when my baby daughter was in special care and I was being kept sedated I'd have been delighted if ANYONE in our family had managed to see her and hold her ...its FAMILY ,sadly no one did ,it wasn't allowed and she died without anyone except her Dad seeing her and even he wasn't allowed to hold her.I think you can take anything and make it a problem.When my son was in his incubator I was 3rd in line to hold him ,again because I was ill,my husband and our 10 year old daughter held him first and DD fed him by tube for 3 days before I was fit enough to even see him.Was I upset...no .Its far better that there are lots of folk to love your baby ..evn if its your MIL

BlueBelle Mon 16-Oct-17 13:04:19

Oh for goodness sake what a storm in a blooming teacup ‘She held my baby before I did....’ so what, the nurses held my babies before I did Is it a competition she’s not taking the baby from her what matters if she had a five minute hold the baby isn’t going to remember and the daughter in law is being petty and silly probably hormones araging

Imperfect27 Mon 16-Oct-17 13:11:59

Yes, she used her position to gain access, but like Paddyann and BlueBelle I am left thinking 'What's the problem?'

My DD! was whisked off to special care for 2 days and I was unable to hold her when she was born. H and others held her before I did. I never felt this interrupted my bonding with her. I was just glad she was surrounded by love.

Lot of fuss over nothing methinks.

vampirequeen Mon 16-Oct-17 13:23:32

I think it's because the couple agreed that there would be no visitors for 24 hours so that they could be the only people to bond with the baby initially. I know it's a storm in a teacup to us but it means a lot to them and the MIL went again their wishes.

I didn't bond with any of my babies for days after the were born. I just looked at these little things and remembered how much they'd physically hurt me. I wouldn't have let anyone take them away from me but I didn't feel that instant motherly love rush that other people describe.

Smithy Mon 16-Oct-17 13:23:43

Agree with you all - the more cuddles the better. The mum just probably doesn't like her Mil.

vampirequeen Mon 16-Oct-17 13:25:34

I think it's because the couple agreed that there would be no visitors for 24 hours so that they could be the only people to bond with the baby initially. I know it's a storm in a teacup to us but it means a lot to them and the MIL went again their wishes.

I didn't bond with any of my babies for days after the were born. I just looked at these little things and remembered how much they'd physically hurt me. I wouldn't have let anyone take them away from me but I didn't feel that instant motherly love rush that other people describe.

MawBroon Mon 16-Oct-17 13:31:39

All of mine were born by section under GA so lots of people including Paw got first dabs on my babies. Some young mums are just a tad oversensitive methinks.
Some people can’t see a teacup without blowing up a storm too, and the tabloids are past masters at that!

BlueBelle Mon 16-Oct-17 13:38:50

What really annoys me is the reporting as well. ‘The moment was taken from her ’ .... no it wasn’t while she was getting stitched up, tidied up, or coming round the mil had a cuddly for goodness sake, anyone would think she’d kidnapped it and ran off for ever
Now if the mum was just going to pick the baby up and mother in law stepped in and grabbed pit I could understand her being peeved but for heavens sake what’s the problem
Mine were taken from me while I was getting stitched back together I never for a moment felt I couldn’t bond
She ll have a lot more than this to annoy and worry her over the coming years

lemongrove Mon 16-Oct-17 13:40:07

What ‘precious’ new parents!
Glad that she is not my DIL I must say.How has this become a bit of ‘news’, I mean who cares?

annsixty Mon 16-Oct-17 14:01:17

This no visiting for 24 hours to bond is so affected.
Most of us couldn't wait to show our precious babies off.

Nannarose Mon 16-Oct-17 14:11:04

The issue is not what any of us would have done, or would have wanted.
Sometimes, as we know, new parents have to go through being a bit 'precious' in order to find their feet.
The issue is overstepping both personal and professional boundaries. I don't think the media should be involved (I think that about a lot of things!) but I don't think this augurs well for the future, if a gran can't maintain a boundary for 24 hours!

NanaandGrampy Mon 16-Oct-17 14:12:50

At least MSN removed the posters names :-)

SueDonim Mon 16-Oct-17 14:17:05

I wouldn't dream of picking up someone's tiny baby without permission, not even my own grandchildren. It wasn't the MIL's baby and she had no business interfering. The mother had just given birth and her feelings were paramount - I know I was a tigress when it came to my babies. It's a matter of respect.

My local hospital protocol is that once a baby has been born, unless it's medically required, staff are not permitted to handle a baby.

Anya Mon 16-Oct-17 14:29:50

Well I hope whoever let the cat out of the bag is pleased how they have soured the relationship 😡

Ilovecheese Mon 16-Oct-17 14:37:11

Absolutely agree with nannyrose It doesn't matter whether you or I or anybody else wouldn't have minded someone else picking up their baby first, this new mother did mind, and had made her wishes quite clear beforehand.
The grandmother dismissed the mother's feeling as of no consequence. Incredibly insensitive and hurtful.
suedonin I also would never pick up someone else's baby without their permission, whether my grandchildren or not.

Anya Mon 16-Oct-17 14:40:15

I try to avoid even being handed babies as they generally start squalling as soon as their mother’s thrust them into my arms.

Christinefrance Mon 16-Oct-17 14:44:01

Me too Anya babies are over rated for me. ( ducks behind sofa)

Greyduster Mon 16-Oct-17 14:48:11

I can see how the parents are annoyed, and MiL should have known better, but at the end of the day, it is not worth souring a relationship for. When my first was born, neither DH nor I were permitted to see him for two days. We couldn't even look at him through a window! It upset me deeply. They said he was jaundiced and that they wanted the forceps marks to fade a bit. On the third day, DH kicked up a fuss (which, it being a military hospital, could have got him into a whole heap of trouble) and they relented. They weren't particularly nice people.

trisher Mon 16-Oct-17 14:49:28

I'm with the DIL. MIL should have known better, they had said 24hours without visits and she is a doctor so should know what patients want matters. It was over stepping the mark to use her pass to enter the unit picking up the baby was way beyond her rights.
If she will do these things now what will she try as the baby gets older?

Norah Mon 16-Oct-17 15:01:11

The mil must not want a normal relationship if she stoops to sneaking about and touching the infant against the parents expressed wants. There will be no end of problems until the parents remove mil from their lives.

glammanana Mon 16-Oct-17 15:03:37

I understand the parents wishes and I'm sure the MIL knew of the wishes also so imo it was very unfair of the MIL,but lets see if the same wishes are put in place for baby 2 or 3 I bet they are not as the parents will be glad of any help then.

BlueBelle Mon 16-Oct-17 15:31:13

Wonder if doctor grandma will be welcome when the baby has chickenpox big fuss about nothing and whoever told the mother is an interfering busybody