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Discussing internet issues with grandchildren

(30 Posts)
Apricity Sun 19-Nov-17 10:23:11

Recently I had a spontaneous discussion with 2 grandsons aged 11 and 12 about internet security issues and specifically about the risks of posting intimate photos online. We had a fruitful and surprisingly frank discussion about this issue with grandma talking about "dick pics" and the boys carefully referring to "inappropriate material". We also discussed "grooming" through game websites and other internet sites and the importance of referring anything they felt uncomfortable about to parents/teachers/grandparents. These are very serious issue facing our little ones. Helping them to understand that if a photo is posted online that they lose control of that image FOREVER is very important. I think internet savvy grandparents have a real role to play here. Just wondering about other Gran's experience with these sort of conversations.

NanaandGrampy Sun 19-Nov-17 11:51:12

You might want to move this thread Apricity , site stuff usually refers to technical issues etc with the actual forum as opposed to discussion points. You might get more feedback in a different thread.

Norah Sun 19-Nov-17 14:23:32

I have not had these conversations but their mums have.

Bluegal Sun 19-Nov-17 17:52:50

My GC aren't at that age yet either Apricity but not sure what NanaandGrampy mean by moving this elsewhere? Where? To me its a valid discussion.

All I can say is good on you for for being able to discuss it with your GC. Grooming is a very worrying possibility for everyone. Young children don't understand it and think its just fun at the time.

M0nica Sun 19-Nov-17 18:21:00

It is a question of parents and grandparents working together so that our DGC are getting the same message from all sides. Sometimes grandparents are listened to when a parents words are shrugged off.

Morgana Sun 19-Nov-17 18:30:22

Dangers of the Internet are also discussed in school nowadays, but it doesn't hurt to reinforce the message. We are all vulnerable. I never post the name of my G.C. on Facebook.

cornergran Sun 19-Nov-17 19:16:29

I’ve responded to questions ours have asked, always report both question and discussion to their parents. I think there’s something about catching these things as the young people raise them in a gentle and straightforward way.

Apricity Mon 20-Nov-17 01:00:11

Wasn't sure which Forum was the most appropriate so put it here. It's the first time I have initiated a a thread. Also wasn't sure if or how to move it! Still a beginner here.
Absolutely agree MOnica that it's an issue that needs to be reinforced from many sides, parents, grans and other family members and school.

Humbertbear Mon 20-Nov-17 08:08:24

My grand daughter had a brilliant book from the school library which was about hamsters (or gerbils)being groomed on the Internet and going off to meet their new ‘friend’ who turned out to be a fox who was selling them to a restaurant. She was only 7 but it got the message across loud and clear.

NanaandGrampy Mon 20-Nov-17 08:10:35

Just message GNHQ Apricity and they will happily move it for you , it will certainly get more traffic in something like chat or technology.

Marydoll Mon 20-Nov-17 08:40:51

I was responsible for internet safety in my school and used these videos when delivering lessons to 5-7 year olds.
The children loved watching them, but they did get the message across. Of course you have to discuss them , not just watch.

There is also material for older children. Just Google CEOP.

lovebooks Mon 20-Nov-17 10:01:43


radicalnan Mon 20-Nov-17 10:13:10

I had this conversation with my son when he was 9, he assured me that he knew all the pitfalls. He also showed me his 'profile' which said he was called 'Mr Duvall' and had a 'Porsh'............just as everything else in life, we have to teach them everything is not what it seems.

Glosgran Mon 20-Nov-17 10:23:39

Thank you so much for these very helpful links, Marydoll. My grandchildren are aged between 3 and 6 so still young and not allowed online yet unless under supervision and for educational purposes. However, it won't be long before they need access for homework etc. I have sent the links to my children and suggested they use the website and will do the same myself when they are here for childcare.

knspol Mon 20-Nov-17 10:24:58

Humbertbear - sounds like a great book, do you have the title?

Coconut Mon 20-Nov-17 10:32:49

My 3 have all had long chats with their children re internet safety, and have parental control on all devices, check usage etc it used to just be stranger danger we had to chat to them about, now we have this as well, it is so worrying, but open discussion with them is vital.

Elrel Mon 20-Nov-17 10:35:01

An important aspect is GC feeling able to discuss ‘inappropriate material’ with you. The young people who get drawn into risky behaviour are often the ones who are unable or unwilling to talk with trusted adults.
Whether it’s a dodgy online contact or school bullying a young person needs someone they can turn to for support.

GoldenAge Mon 20-Nov-17 10:41:16

Apricity and others on this stream - we all have to sing from the same hymn sheet and as older people of the generation that felt the outcomes of the Jimmy Saville's of this world, we have a lot to offer with hindsight - so yes, we need to work with teachers and our own children to ensure that from a really early age our grandchildren know how to protect themselves. Just a pity there are so many reality shows out there that put tiny tots in the public eye. Does anyone agree with me that beauty pageants for little ones should be banned?

EmilyHarburn Mon 20-Nov-17 10:50:03

What a sensible grandma you are. How lucky your grandsons are to be able to discuss this with you.

I am visiting a mildly learning disabled adult aged 42 in prison for posting his 'dick' to a police officer posing as an underage female.

His family are distraught. He is not a reader, he had no father in his family, he was bullied at school etc. Before the internet he would have been buying a magazine from the top shelf for its center fold. I won't go on. Just it is so necessary that youngsters understand that the internet is never anonymous and however intriguing it is don't send pics. The final result can be prison and being on the sex offenders register.

Apricity Mon 20-Nov-17 11:16:08

Thanks NanaandGrampy for the helpful tips. All done.

schnackie Mon 20-Nov-17 11:32:08

Great topic and thanks Apricity for posting and how great that you have this relationship with your grandsons. I'm also glad to hear that resources are being developed and used to help children learn about this. (The hamster story sounds brilliant!) Thanks to everyone who posted resources. I agree that children ask important questions at very random times and whoever is present needs to be able to give the best answer.

meandashy Mon 20-Nov-17 12:00:27

Marydoll thank you for the links. I will definitely be discussing with dgd (6 going on 7)
Internet safety is the responsibility of everybody who has a young person in their lives. A good friend of mines dd (13) fell foul of a young man & unfortunately sent pictures. It was really out of character for her. It doesn't take long before they're being shown around the school. That's how my friend found out, another pupil told a teacher.
There are sooo many instances of grooming that are actually vigilante stings at the moment, proving that our young people are NOT keeping themselves safe enough. Whether that's because they are not being taught in schools or parents/guardians are not monitoring what's going on with their devices, goodness knows? It really worries me. The police and the many sting organisations (who I wholeheartedly agree with & think do an amazing job in the absence of police funding) are only touching the tip of the iceberg I'm afraid. The internet is a wonderful invention but is also terrifying in equal measures

sarahellenwhitney Mon 20-Nov-17 12:40:22

Totally agree with you
To be able to discuss any issues with your Gc', and what can be more serious than the issues of filth that appears on certain internet sites, is down to the trust and confidence they have in you.

Caro1954 Mon 20-Nov-17 13:37:38

Exactly what Schnackie said!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 20-Nov-17 17:02:14

What a horrible world we live in when children are encouraged to take photos of their personal bits and pieces and then put them online. It's great that you feel confident enough to tackle this. I'm so glad I'm not young - I rather feel I'd have been daft enough and too trusting and would have fallen into this trap.