Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Really need help.

(40 Posts)
MissAdventure Sun 03-Dec-17 10:24:43

I would pack it up, and email him with a choice of dates, and a clear explanation that it will be disposed of if it is not collected at a mutually acceptable time.

Rosina Sun 03-Dec-17 10:21:35

Most definitely take advice from the CAB about this - dealing with other people's possessions is an absolute minefield and an elderly man of my acquaintance ended up in court after a vindictive person for whom he had stored goods tried to claim for damage and all sorts of other nonsense. It was thrown out but the elderly man had a really stressful time; this is highly unlikely to be your situation hopefully but it can happen and there is a procedure of notification that you would do well to follow to avoid any difficulty for you.

radicalnan Sun 03-Dec-17 10:16:13

Send it round to his parent's house and move on.

You need advice about your own situation, check your house insurance to see if you have free cover.

Coconut Sun 03-Dec-17 10:07:58

Yes, def get rid of it all, do not put your life on hold until he decides what he wants. If he has to think that long and hard about it, there is your answer. Does he have someone else and is hedging his bets to see if that works out ? I would pack all his bits up in boxes now, and ask him to collect it ASAP, give him a firm timescale and if he does not collect, take a car load round to his parents and let it be their problem. Leave it on the drive if needs be. Of course notify them that you have given adequate time for him to react to the situation. Don’t let him control the situation, you control it as you are paying the bills and it’s now all about your life, not his.

starbird Sat 02-Dec-17 09:36:49

Definitely get advice. You may find he has a right to a share in the house even if it is 'yours'.

It sounds as though he wants to have his cake and eat it - he wants freedom but can't afford it.

You might find it better not to rush into the divorce if you can manage on your own. He may be given a share of the house then later down the line, meet someone with their own house, leaving him with money to spare and you struggling. Just find out your rights before doing anything.

Friday Sat 02-Dec-17 08:41:44

Recorded delivery. Sorry I’m repeating what others have said.

Friday Sat 02-Dec-17 08:40:49

Pack everything and put it in spare room. Send him a later by registered post so he has to sign for it telling he has to collect it by a certain date or you will dispose of it to charity.

MesMopTop Sat 02-Dec-17 08:37:41

Maybe pack it all up and send on to his parents? Suppose it depends on what he has, mind you. Maybe send them/him a text to let them know that you'll be sending his things on.

jusnoneed Sat 02-Dec-17 08:26:05

I would write a letter giving him a month to clear his stuff or you will dispose of it. Keep a copy and send it recorded delivery, someone will have to sign for it. As long as you keep a record of communications and give him a reasonable time frame he won't be able to complain.

mumofmadboys Sat 02-Dec-17 08:06:19

Could you just pack his stuff up and put it in a ? spare bedroom so it's out of sight for now?

NfkDumpling Sat 02-Dec-17 07:14:39

Sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis. Do you want the marriage to work?

BlueBelle Sat 02-Dec-17 07:11:49

Go to CAB they will advise you for free of your next move I don’t think you can just put things out without warning or timeframes they may even write the letter for you

Deni1963 Fri 01-Dec-17 23:26:22

Right now money is very tight as he dosent contribute anymore ?

Nanabilly Fri 01-Dec-17 23:06:52

Go through a solicitor . He or she will send a letter advising him to move his belongings within a certain timeframe (we said one month when our ex sis in law left big furniture with us) and if it's not gone after that date you will dispose of it. It worked for us

Deni1963 Fri 01-Dec-17 22:36:22

My husband left end of September. Over the past months we have seen each other and talked. This has dwindled to practically nothing, he is staying at his parents, but has disappeared for nights. We hard,y talk and his parents don’t respond to any texts I send. I’ve asked him numerous times to move the rest of his possession so ( there is a lot), but he avoids it by saying he is wanting the marriage to work despite actions being the opposite.
Ive had enough. Can I pack his stuff and put it out? The house is mine and he is no longer contributing. Where do I stand?