More toileting (sorry)

As has been said, when young children are playing together or doing something they are very interested in, they often have forget to go to the loo, even when reminded. When I used to run pre-school gymnastic classes, we would actually take the children to the toilet at least once during each 45 minute lesson. Even so, were never surprised to find one who was wet. Back in those days, we could get them quickly changed into spare clothes and hand the wet ones, in a carrier bag to parents at end of class. These days, not permitted to do that, have to have parent come in the change the clothes. Even when we would see a little one jiggling about from leg to let and would ask if they needed to to the toilet, they would often say 'No'. with a greater expectation of their own abiltiy to hold it in, than was actually the case. Nothing to worry about - quite normal at 3 and 4 years of age. Definitely should not be told off.

is he frightened of anything? DGS, now 7, still puts off visiting the loo as long as possible. He is quite a complicated child and we have found that 1) the only loo is upstairs and he doesn't like being upstairs on his own. 2) He also doesn't like the smell of wee and poo, and this holds him back.

*GrannyBen,perhaps your grandson has some similar hang-ups. otherwise just ignore it and it will eventually sort itself out.

Absolutely - the 'dumb baby' is now a competent young woman doing well at college!

Just think .... will he be doing this in 10years time? No- this too,will pass. Don’t get anxious about it.

GD was often adamant that she didn't need to go then had an accident soon afterwards. The time that sticks in my mind is when she was 5 and we spent an afternoon at a local attraction. Before we left for home, a journey needing two buses I suggested she might need to go to the loo. No, she assured me she didn't need to.
Halfway to the bus stop she wet herself. As I took a deep breath to keep calm she said 'I feel like a dumb baby'. I said gently that I could understand her feeling like that as it was a bit babyish and maybe next time she'd go when I suggested she should. I don't recall her having an accident after that.
Grannyben - I'm sorry DD was upset by DGS wearing dinosaur wellies, he sounds as if he was very happy in them with his beaming face. Nursery and infant nativity plays often have spontaneous aspects which add to the charm! At church A while ago another DGD, a few months under 2, was an angel, invited by the producer. Rehearsals went smoothly but in the production she decided to carefully move and stack some small plastic chairs. An elderly and infirm member of the congregation mentioned this to me many times as an adorable Christmas memory.

I would suggest your DD praises him for dry times. So at lunch time say well done , your pants are dry. That's great/ grown up. Repeat at tea time and bedtime if dry. If wet change with little comment. Good luck

Don't think it anything to worry about Grannyben. Same thing happened with my grandson when he started nursery.
Lasted a short while then back to going to the toilet. Never has an accident now. Just change of routine I think.
Didn't use nappies/pull-ups just changed his wet pants/clothes. Certainly didn't tell him off.
I am sure he will be fine.
Incidentally grand-daughter never had an accident when she started nursery? A boy thing? Maybe?

I think this is a common issue that children get very engrossed or regress a bit when in a new situation. DD2 had a terrible problem when she was 3½ and her nursery had a lot of staff changes on term - "her" nursery teacher had to have shoulder surgery and another had a baby and there so many new faces. One day in winter she wet herself playing outside and was too shy to tell anyone and it was not obvious in her snow suit. Unfortunately it was minus 20C and it froze - she came home with terrible blistering.

Can you put "real pants" on with trainer pants on top? Then the child still feels wet but there is not a lot of mess.

As someone else suggests trainerpants are a good idea , no never' tell him off' that will just make him feel terrible. Positive reinforcement may help, such as praise & treats when he gets it right & a cuddle for when he doesn't & encouragement, perhaps he is not confident in letting the adults in pre school that he needs to go .

b

Your poor daughter feeling like that - if he had a change of clothes then pre-school should have used them. Probably no-one but your daughter noticed the wellies anyway. He is only 3 so completely normal! My DGS is 4 and has had a few accidents at nursery over the last year because of saying he doesn't need and then being a rush but is getting better at the signals. DD is trying to teach him when he starts dancing about and fiddling that he needs to go but it is a long learning process as his activities are much more interesting. He still wears pull ups at night but was so excited to tell me that the other night he went to the toilet in the night without getting mummy and in the morning his pull up was dry! They have been fairly laid back as baby sister arrived in February and DD was kept in with sepsis so he has had a lot to deal with. If it was a lot more than once a day then back to nappies or pull ups would take the pressure off but it sounds like he is doing fine though DD might like to have a quiet word with pre school.

My son was like this until he was 7, always too interested in what he was doing to think of the toilet. I thought he would never be dry.

Thank you Nanabilly, my poor daughter thought she had been doing something wrong. I have actually just been talking to her about a reward chart for dry days, it might be worth a go

Best to just ignore it , his little world has been turned upside down with changes and about to have more after Christmas so expect it to last longer .Then when hes been in his new routine a few weeks gently bring in some reminders about him being dry or make a reward chart for dry days. He will soon be back to normal just don't rush it or make a big thing of it

I think he thought he was special sitting in his wellies, he kept waving his legs to his mummy, I think she was slightly horrified.
I think it could be quite helpful that he breaks up next week, we can all stick to a good routine

~As MissAdventure says, don't ask.
Just take him to the toilet as a matter of routine, 'wee wee time' or whatever you say; it is still early days of the message getting through.

He didn't seem to be embarrassed though, thank goodness, as he was beaming all over his face wearing his wellies in Bethlehem.
He could start a new trend

It may take a while for him to recognise the signals. One of our DGC would always say 'I don't need to go' if we passed a toilet then need to go about 10 minutes later.

Thank you so much. I was thinking it would be best just to change him and say nothing. He is such as beautiful little boy

Just quietly change his pants. No big issue. It is probably related in part to going to school. Don 't worry he will be fine.

I suppose the most obvious advice would be not to make an issue out of it as that will probably make it worse. I'm sure I read somewhere that its quite normal up to about six years old to be unreliable with regard to wetting.

Thank you MissAdventure and Jalima. My daughter has tried the "right, off to the toilet" but he can seem to become quite distraught if he doesn't want to go. He does take a bag every day, full of clean clothes and a spare pair of shoes but no, they saw fit to put him in dinosaur wellies. I think that was what upset her

I agree with trisher that they need to get their act together. This is not at all unusual and the nursery staff should be aware and also should have a good supply of spare clothes (he should have some in his bag anyway).
Most of the children (Reception, Y1, Y2, Y3) had bare feet for the nativity I went to this week, there were one or two pairs of sandals but very few.
Wellies in Bethlehem?

I think perhaps at home, his mum could take away his choice, in a nice but firm way. "Right, you go and do a wee, then we'll do whatever.."

Thank you so much Trisher, I could see my daughter was upset when she saw him sat there in the wellies and his little face was beaming all carefree. He is going to he starting in the proper school nursery after Christmas and I know that the teacher is very experienced so hopefully we can get on top of it

They need to get their act together Grannyben children who are playing often say they don't need to go. A good nursery worker will remember when the child last went and know if they really do need to go. It does sometimes require a good deal of negotiation and some reassurance that whatever they are doing will remain safe until they return. It can be difficult and requires a brisk no-nonsense attitude that doesn't make a huge thing of it. So sorry about his nativity. If it had been me I would have let him do it in bare feet rather than wellies-more authentic you know. Try not to worry too much I'm sure it's just a passing phase.

Thank you Luckygirl and Trisher, my daughter has spoken to the preschool and to be fair they do try but he often just says he doesn't want to go and then he wets himself a short while later. I had him to sleep the other night and we took his pull up off when he got up at 7. It was lunchtime before he finally went and then it was a mad dash.
I think my daughter is just so frustrated. She has spoken to him in a lovely manner, she has told him off but I think she might be better to ignore it completely. I think its just come to a head today because it was his nativity and he had piddled before it started and they had put him in as pair of wellies.