Has anyone got Phil Vickery's address?

I need to send him the bill for a new hob!

If there was prize for who cooked the most expensive turkey, I think I would definitely be in the running.

After years of using the Delia method, I decided (after reading the testimonials) to give the Phil a go!

Mr P very kindly went to the village shop on Christmas Eve to get a bottle of "cheap" white wine.

Now, with the prices the village shop charges, it wasn't exactly "cheap" but I couldn't warrant using one of our half decent bottles, and I definitely wasn't going to ask him to do battle in any of the supermarkets!

So, I made my stuffing, checked that the bird was completely defrosted and relaxed safe in the knowledge that the next day I would be serving the most juicy, succulent turkey that had ever been eaten at Chez Phoenix.

The day dawned, presents were opened, Bucks Fizz and a delicious brunch enjoyed. Washing up done, I set to with The Bird.

Onions and carrots chopped, stuffing inserted, wine and stock added, vast quantities of foil at the ready, oven pre heated.

We placed the roasting tin/baking tray across 2 burners of the hob, and turned them on. After a while, I became convinced that the tray wasn't sitting properly on the hob, bent down to peer at it from close quarters.

As I did so, I heard A Noise

Not the noise of wine and stock starting to bubble, or even the noise of the fan on the oven. Both of these noises would have been perfectly acceptable, and indeed welcomed.

This noise can only be described as a "slightly muffled bang", which we both decided was definitely firmly in the category of the wrong noise

The hob had cracked.