Breathing monitors

Using that argument then every child should be hooked up to an apnoea monitor just in case. Parents are already nervous/neurotic enough without adding this to their list of worries. FSIDS is fortunately rare in terms of the number of children born. What's the point of stressing out every parent? The apnoea monitor had nothing to do with keeping my daughters alive. It was to try to keep me sane and let me rest because I could hear the click, click, click.

Good point OldMeg. A bit like the bedwetting alarms, gets the baby in the habit of waking when his breathing stops. I wonder if babies who have periods of missed breaths in their sleep are the same people who go on to have sleep apneoa as adults?

Trouble is, no one, not even medics, can predict which babies are likely to die from SIDS VQ as you and others have very sadly discovered. I’m very sorry to read of the loss of your DS. It is also likely that the noise when these ‘false alarms’ sound (which occur when baby goes a longer than normal time between breaths) can actually jolt the baby into conscious breathing. So the alarms may not always be false, if that makes sense.

The OP may or may not know better than the doctors, I am open minded about the relative knowledge of different people. However, any overriding of the parents' decisions can and will be held against you in the future. Having been on the very long Estranged Children and Grandchildren threads I can tell you this. It's simply not worth it. If they mess up with this baby they can have another, and at least you'll be allowed to see it.

Both my DDs had apnoea monitors due to my DS passing away at 8 months. Whilst the click, click, click was reassuring, the false alarms were a nightmare. I wouldn't use one unless the hospital says it's needed.

They can be adjusted so that if there is no breathing for say, 1 minute, then they will go off. Far better to have a few false alarms than miss a possible cot death.

But that’s not the issue here. If the parents don’t want one then that’s their decision.,

experience amongst my daughter's friends is that monitors make you more anxious not less.

I was given a breathing monitor for my then baby DD by the hospital. It as a mixed blessing as it went off even whilst she was breathing and I think it made me even more anxious.

This happened to me as well - the thing used to bleep all the time even when there was no breathing stop - it made me very anxious and I found it impossible to sleep

You have to abide by parents' wishes- no question- and medical advice.

They will have been advised by the hospital so if they say no, then don't buy one.
He is now 7 weeks old, nearly at term date, and I hope he is doing well.

Be a good MiL- you've been told 'no thanks' to the monitor- please listen.

We have to get used to lots of things that we might see as unwise: giving little ones whole grapes, letting them stand in their high chairs - I could go on - I have had to grit my teeth many a time and oft!

Seems like it’s only me who thinks it is a good idea! I just know my DD would have been very happy if I’d vought it but I guess that is because I knew she was always planning on getting one.

Best of luck OP xx

Respect the wishes of the parents.

Let it drop and don't bring what is a delicate subject up again but that you would like to buy your new grandson a gift and let the parents decide on that.

I was given a breathing monitor for my then baby DD by the hospital.
It as a mixed blessing as it went off even whilst she was breathing and I think it made me even more anxious.

My dil and son did without any in put from me purchase an angel mat.

My daughter however just kept the cot right next to her at night.
And during the day the babies were always in the same room.
Breast feeding, keeping the baby and room at the right temperature, baby room monitors, placing baby on their back and even dummies are the current recommendations.

I know it's hard but you just have accept and support the parents choices.

Congratulations on you're new DGC

No, they said no.

You've made the suggestion, so they know what you think. I'd leave it there. Congrats on the new arrival!

Thanks everyone. I asked the question because I realised they might take it that I was commenting on their abilities as new parents (which I never would). A friend of mine thought it was absurd not to have one so I thought I'd ask as I've had zero experience of premature babies. Thank you all again from a very proud grandma

Hi I know how you feel but please take my advise from someone who has been there .Don't interfere .Even though you see it as helping .your dil will not see it the same way .I have 11 grandchildren and it's taken me many years and many tears to realise those children are not mine. They have their own parents and all I can do is support them and their decisions. Sometimes this can be very hard as I dearly love the children and want the best for them .But I know now you got to think long term. If you go against your dil now then it will cause a problem and things will continue to get worse because you may not agree with the next big decision they make and go against them again Your dil is the mother. She holds all the cards. She has the power to make it very hard for you to see those children if relations break down .it nearly happened to me .So just go with her wishes and leave it at that .As people on here said already I think the hospital would have advised a breathing monitor if it was necessary .There is going to be many special days ahead for your with your grandchild so don't spoil it.tread carefully .think long term. Keep your eye on the prize.

Do not overide the parents' wishes. They have taken medical advice and it was not regarded as necessary. You may permanently damage your relationship with the family if you try to impose what you want,

I had a DD with breathing issues and I think a home monitor would have made me very anxious and made the PTSD that I suffered around the birth a lot worse.

No. Their decision.

I would never have bought my DD anything for my DGC without asking, if she said NO then I would not have gone ahead.

I always ask if there is anything she wants, I know we all worry about our DGC but don't go against the Parents wishes, instead ask if there is anything they would like you to buy. Don't spoil your relationship with DS &DiL.

WOW!!
Pearl02

I think, with respect, that you're overstepping the mark by a long, long way. The parents have said NO thank you. ??

Hi @YvonneMC - congratulations on your dear grandson, glad everything is going ok now.
Do you mean like a breathing monitor mat, that goes under the mattress when baby is sleeping?
e.g angelcare.co.uk/product-category/monitoring-filtered

If so, then yes, I personally definitely would suggest you buy them one - regardless of whether your darling grandson was premature or not. Whilst not compulsory, they do give parents peace of mind that the baby is breathing. Yes, they can alarm falsely (babies sometimes hold their breath slighly longer than normal) but if there are any issues, the parents know about it straight away and can action.

Sorry, if you mean something more medical, i am not aware of everything on the market.

If you do mean the monitor mat, by DD has the angelcare one with sound sensor. I think they paid about £80 for it 3 years ago on sale. They say that the monitor along with babyborjn bouncer and their swivel car seats are the best baby investments they made.

I don't think you are interfering at all, i think it is a very generous, thoughtful offer.