Hello Newnannie, I agree with fellow Gransnetters, your daughter is probably going to find looking after one dog hard going with a baby, let alone two and Huskies at that! Personally I think your daughter, as with the majority of mums-to-be, completely under estimates how time consuming a new baby is. I'm sure we have all smiled when we have heard first time mums-to-be say how a baby isn't going to change their lives and baby will have to fit in, I'll still go for my weekly manicure etc etc.....! Sadly it is the dog that will suffer if it does all indeed prove too much for your daughter to handle. It doesn't look as if your SIL is prepared to step in to help with 2nd dog either which I can't blame him for. Fingers crossed if you are close to your daughter you can have a frank conversation with her and she will be persuaded doggy 2 isn't the best idea at the moment. Good Luck.
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New dog
(87 Posts)Hi all, this is a first time post so please be gentle! First off I’m not a dog owner, I have 3 cats. My daughter is expecting her first baby at the end of April, she already had a 3 year old Alaskan malamute who is gorgeous and she loves him a lot. Thing is she now wants to adopt another malamute ( big dogs, 48 kilo) to keep him company. The dog she is looking to adopt belongs at the moment to a friend of hers who's wife is expecting their second baby and they don’t have the time for their second dog which is the one my daughter wants to adopt. I feel that it’s the wrong time to adopt a new dog however well the two dogs get on. I think I’ll be looking after baby at least one day a week in the future and don’t think I could cope with baby and 2 big dogs but that’s not the point, I’m worried that she won’t be able to either and poor dog will be looking for a new home again!! This is a first baby, first grandchild and her husband doesn’t want a second dog either. I have a very close relationship with my daughter, but I’m just so worried!! Any thoughts anyone?
No way. We were landed with a dog that has sudden rage syndrome. Its not nice. It didn't start until he was over a year old. Its no joke having pets. We've been told when there are grandchildren the dog will have to go. Our world is very limited because of the dog at the moment. I would never have had a dog. Two with baby. Hell on earth
Dog trainer here - NO. NO. a million times NO.
Agree with everything said except no dogs ever with children! Was going to suggest same as Bathsheba let her see the thread. Do let us know the outcome. Good luck ?
Would it help if your daughter could experience first-hand how things go with a first new baby ánd two big dogs? Maybe you know someone in that situation who could invite your daughter and talk to her about the dogs not being walked, the house not beeing cleaned, the tiredness etc.
After all the horror stories in the newspapers I'm amazed she isn't giving her dog away, not getting a second one. I know it's not your decision but try and talk your daughter out of it.
I had a cat before having children and he was so jealous when my babies came along. My husband also wanted a Labrador just as I had my first baby. We had him for a week and then returned him to the breeder as I couldn't cope with a baby needing feeding every hour and a half and a puppy weeing everywhere. Sorry to be so pessimistic.
I've been breeding and showing a working breed of dog for 40 years and an important clause in all my puppy sales contracts is that no new baby is planned for at least 12 months, to ensure that the puppy gets all the attention while he is growing up.
Interesting scenario, Lewie. How do you make it work if the woman becomes pregnant (could be by accident) Do you remove the puppy?
Can you really enforce something like that?
I am truly grateful for all your messages, and especially yours Lewie!! I think I will show her this thread, it’s been so useful although without exception you have agreed with my misgivings.
Get your daughter to read all the comments on here. She'd be making a big mistake getting this 2nd dog at this time.
When I was born my parents had a German shepherd bitch that they were fond of, but she was so jealous of me that my father didn't dare keep her and re-housed her on a farm.
I don't know whether telling your daughter this is going to help to get her to hold her horses and not consider another dog until as others have suggested she has had her baby and is able to judge how much time and energy she has left for anything else than her child.
Obviously, you need to tread carefully. It would be a dreadful pity if your advice here caused trouble between you and your daughter.
Perhaps you should have a quiet word with your son-in-law when your daughter is out of earshot. You say he does not want a second dog, and there is no guarantee that the two dogs (I assume they are both male) will get on together. The 3 year old dog your DD and SIL already have is unlikely to be thrilled by the introduction of another adult? dog.
Point out that however happy you will be to look after your GC on occasion, even if you are willing to have the dog or dogs, your cats will not be. AND I seriously doubt whether dogs of that breed are safe around cats.
Obviously, you are a cat lover like me, so you know your cats will be offended when you start cooing over baby, don't you? Having to keep cats and strange dogs apart will be a nightmare in such circumstances.
Perhaps by pointing out that two dogs means twice the amount of dog food, etc. and twice the amount of exercise - those dogs need a lot of walking you can persuade your DD to reconsider.
Congrats on the soon-to be grandchild. Hope you can get past this dog business without it causing trouble and that you and your DD can enjoy this exciting time.
My daughter was not expecting to have an emergency c section with her first baby, we don't normally expect problems but they happen, would it be fair on a new dog if heaven forbid your daughter found herself in the same situation or similar, as we all know new babies are extremely hard work without potential complications x
My daughter, expecting her first baby, signed up for a post-graduate course.
When I (gently!) suggested that she may be taking on a bit much as she would be very busy with the baby, my daughter laughed hilariously and told me that she would far too much time on her hands and she needed something 'to do'. "The baby will sleep for 21 hours a day and I will be bored just sitting around, waiting for it to wake up." Hmmmm.
I realise that we do not have all the answers or knowledge but having had two children, I did know just how busy she would be - and I was right, particularly as her first child had a major problem with reflux (although breast-fed).
Please tell your daughter that she will be busy. She will be tired. She may not even have time to dress herself on 'bad days'!
We had a dog when our first baby arrived and it survived (although the look on its face when we brought down the carry-cot from the loft just before the second baby arrived, was a sight to behold - a study in dejection!).
Please ask your daughter to ask her friends who have had babies, particularly first babies, how much spare time they had. The problem is that no-one can prepare your daughter for the whirlwind that is about to hit her.
Perhaps she could have an arrangement whereby she could return the dog if she really could not cope...?
I've never seen a post n here where everyone is in total agreement.
We are, aren't we - many of us speaking with the voices of experience.
Hi Newnannie, I know it is so hard to have to tell adult children you disagree with them on something important. But in this instance you know how much work a new baby makes and how incredibly tired and sleep deprived your dd will be for the first few months when baby needs feeding every 3-4 hours. There is no way she should contemplate taking on a second large dog whilst pregnant. She does not know how her own dog would react or if it would become jealous let alone how either dog may react to baby. It is an accident waiting to happen. Talk to SiL about how worried you are and perhaps he can persuade your dd to wait until baby at least 5 and at school.
A second dog would be a big mistake! The fact is that she won't have time for their existing dog once she has her baby, and thinks that two dogs will keep each other company. It is a fallacy - they won't! In addition she'll have two lots of exercising if she can't cope with two of them on the lead at once - and two lots of Vet fees. The first dog may resent being foisted off onto the new dog when all he wants is to be with humans. He may also resent the new baby unless the introduction is all handled very carefully indeed. New babies are a hell of a lot of work - and this on top of all of the above.
I've been breeding and showing a working breed of dog for 40 years and an important clause in all my puppy sales contracts is that no new baby is planned for at least 12 months, to ensure that the puppy gets all the attention while he is growing up.
Please make her see sense!
Could she cope with taking two hefty dogs for their proper exercise, plus pushing a new born in a pram? I think not. On a different note, how would she cope 'picking up' after them on a walk then handling her new baby without washing her hands? No no no.
I would tell your daughter about your misgivings, and make it plain that if she finds she can’t cope you would not be able to help. Then I would say no more. If she goes ahead and it fails, try not to say ‘ I told you so’.
As long as she has one dog, it will probably be very tender and loving with the child when it arrives, but two may romp around with each other instead.
It is, of course, between her and her husband at the end of the day. Unfortunately she has seen her friend cope with two dogs and one child. Does this mean your daughter only wants one child? Of course if she has a huge house and grounds and plans to take the dogs out when her husband or other person is at home to look after the baby, it could work from a practical level.
Afraid its a no from me, do show her this thread.
What a good point Tegan. Maybe worth talking to a dog rehoming organisation or a vet for expert opinion on dog rehoming with a new baby. Hopefully, their opinion would back up your thoughts when talking to you DD. I've never seen a post n here where everyone is in total agreement.
Can you not show her this thread? Tell her you wanted advice on how others had coped. We had an Alsatian when my child was small. Lovely dog but became jealous of the baby so had to let him go.
I am the least fussy grandparent on the planet - we have had labradors, springers and terriers with tiny babies with no problem whatsoever BUT even I say NO to this one! Especially as it is you that will be landed with exercising both these huge dogs. Your DD will find it very difficult to give the existing dog enough exercise without adding another into the equation. Utter madness! (and clearing up two lots of elephantine poos - no thank you!!!) I bet she is trying to be kind to the other owner - but she needs to be kind to you and to herself first.
Good luck
Good luck Newnannie. Don't pull any punches - your SiL already has concerns, so you shouldn't find it difficult to spell out all the potential problems. I do hope it goes well and that he can persuade your DD to drop this idea. So much better for you if you don't have to be the one to persuade her!
I agree with all the above posts.
Try to dissuade her, she doesn't yet know how demanding a baby can be and how one dog, let alone another dog introduced into the mix, will react. She won't have so much time for the dog(s) and trying to go for a walk with pram plus one dog is difficult enough.
And all that hair being shed with a crawling baby around - she'll be vacuuming twice a day (I know from experience!).
Malamutes shed heavily twice a year
I’ve just arranged for SIL to service my car tomorrow so ??I’ll get a chance to chat to him on his own x
Hi Newnannie, apologies if this doesn't make you feel good but my son and daughter in law have two malamutes, the 1st is a male and then they got the female - big, big mistake, they've had endless problems- too many to mention. My son admittedly said he wishes they'd not got her, she was supposed to be DIL's dog. They don't get walked enough, they can't take a holiday because they don't have anyone to look after them and they couldn't afford to put them in doggy care. I had 3 dogs because I was too soft and kept wanting to rescue - it was crazy and it minimises the time you have for family members, obviously you've got the continual cost. We've got 1 dog now after we gradually lost other : due to old age and cancer and I can honestly say it's lovely having more time for 1. Maybe point out the down points to your daughter but I dare say if she's got her mind made up then that's it. I feel for you and hope she might rethink things.
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