New dog

Best decision . Enjoy your new grandchild !

Brilliant news I was obviously a bit late but she made the right decision anyway. Good for her and the dog.

I've always had dogs, had dogs before kids but I would say this isn't the best time to get a second dog of any breed. When my kids were born my dogs were already well trained and knew all the ground rules so the only adjustment needed was to the new little one in their lives and they adapted really well as they had been brought up to accept whatever and whoever I introduced. That's not the case where this new dog is concerned. It's not fair on the new dog, they'll need time and space to settle into their new life and it's not fair on her husband or you if you're not fully on board. We've all read the horror stories of infants being injured or worse by the family dog and they are nearly always a rehomed dog, so not trying to scare anyone but do you want to take that chance because I wouldn't. For all the faith I have in myself and my ability to control my dogs that's a chance I simply wouldn't be willing to take. There will plenty of time in the future for her to take on another dog but now is not the time. She's going to be tired after the baby arrives and will need her wits about her at all times with two dogs in the house. Of course she can take precautions such as dog gates etc but I don't think that's enough and you need to convince her the baby has to come first in this situation and if her friend doesn't have the time for two dogs what makes your daughter think that she will, her friends been through it before and knows exactly what to expect which is why the dog is rather unfairly up for rehoming.

Very good news, and the right outcome.

Hi, just in case anyone wondered .... my daughters beautiful baby boy was born in April, yes, it’s a lot harder than she thought and yes, the malamute she wanted to adopt to keep hers company has found a new home in Cornwall!! A long way from us. All’s well that ends well as they say!! It’s something we don’t mention though!!

I share the care of my daughter's two children(2 and 5 ) and her dog. I have a dog of my own as well. Walking two dogs, a buggy, a toddler, or an awkward foot dragging year old, meeting another dog that for unknown reasons one of the dogs with me takes a dislike to-- cue buggy nearly overturned... trust me, however much we all love dogs, there are situations which will crop up and be difficult to deal with and potentially dangerous. I go along with those advising your daughter to decide against having another dog for about 10 years at least!! All the best to everyone involved.

Hi, I will update you, but I’ve not had the chance to speak to my son in law yet. She’s not mentioned the new dog to me again, but I think that’s because she knows I don’t approve!!

How did the chat with your SIL go, Newnannie? Has there been any progress yet in dissuading your DD from taking on this second dog?

My daughter got a puppy as our grandson was born. We ended up looking after both, plus our dog three days a week and it was a nightmare. In retrospect I should have insisted someone else cared for the puppy. It made it very hard work when we should have been enjoying caring for our grandson.

What a dilemma for you. There is a lot of good advice here. Going ahead with having a second dog is both irresponsible and selfish, given the circumstances, and if you and her husband are against it, taking into account that you would both be involved in the care of the baby and the dogs, then perhaps a friend, who is more impartial, could have a word with her and make her see sense. Good luck!

Oh gosh, I might be in line to show her all these comments. Many years ago when I had my babies I had two believed cats (fairly self sufficient unlike dogs) but having a new baby and trying to cope with cat hair nearly pushed me over the edge! It really does need careful thinking about, best to wait until baby has arrived and a routine is established before considering anything else, not fair on mum, dogs, baby or you!

No!!! She is going to have trouble looking after the dog she already has without getting another one. When I was pregnant with my first child I thought nothing would change, the baby would fit in with us, not the other way around. Was I wrong.

Or threaten her with Lewie's vision of birth control for future pregnancies.

Get a printout of this thread and leave it for your daughter to read. If she won't read it follow her round the house reading out bits of it.

You don't have to include your original post.

I also agree with everyone else show her these posts hopefully it will help. I have got 2 terrier dogs luckily my children are grown up and my dogs have over 2 hours walks each day.

When I had my first dog [a cocker spaniel] I was very concerned at tales I'd heard of spaniels that had been jealous of babies and had to be rehomed/pts. So, from when I first had her, much as it hurt me to do so, I treated her very much as a dog. It was only 18 months - 2 years later when my daughter was born that I started to really make a fuss of the dog, after having introduced her to the new baby. I adore dogs [and still remember the first Malamute I ever saw; it was in a pub in the Peak District and I was enthralled by it's beauty] but the very thing that makes them such good companions [ie being pack animals] is the very thing that can cause problems when new 'pack members' are introduced.

I cannot add anything to what other grans have written which is all top notch advice and understanding of the whole situation.

Some dogs are fine with babies and small children and will in fact be their 'guardian' as we found out when DGS was small. However, they are the absolute exception rather than the rule and introducing another new dog into a family expecting a new baby is a very bad idea.
Unless the dogs have acres to run in and live outside I think I would be apprehensive about the dog I had already, let alone getting another one.

Someone mentioned 'pack instinct' - that is another worry.

Dogs and babies do not go together. My sister's son had to return their dog to whom they were devoted to the breeder. They only did this after they had tried day care, put the dog on tranquilizers etc. Despite everything the dog bit the baby and this brought them to their senses. However the poor child who grew up in such a stressful situation is now hyper active and sees a counselor at school etc. He is hyper active and attention seeking. I put this all down to the terror of living with a dog who was threatening him from birth.

Just going off at a tangent here, but was at a nature reserve yesterday and took a photo of these amazing dogs; the owner had said the one in front was the 'Specsavers' dog. At first I took what she said at face value, then decided I must have misinterpreted it, then decided again that it was the actual dog; probably because the dogs were unbelievably well trained and also that they had quite a crowd of people looking at them...

What a good point Tegan made about whether a Malamute rescue organisation would allow your daughter to have one of their dogs. Maybe worth talking to a dog rehoming organisation or a vet for expert opinion on dog (especially a Malamute) rehoming with a new baby. Hopefully, their opinion would back up your thoughts when talking to you DD. I've never seen a post on Gransnet where everyone is in total agreement.

Tegan2 makes a good point. We do not know how a dog will react when the baby moves in. My golden retriever, chosen for the breed's family oriented skills, was wonderful when my third baby arrived a year after I got my dog, but she could just as equally been jealous. She put up with a lot from the growing baby, even having a hard brick bonked (accidentally) on her head which I thought would make her snap - but she just sat still and looked sad. She let my infant haul herself up holding her and learn to walk and she guarded the pram. But would she have felt the same with another dog in the house? I seriously doubt it. Incidentally, my dog was planned, the baby - a surprise! (GOOD surprise!) However, this Mal sounds very sweet but is going to face big and puzzling competition. It does not need further competition from another dog! If she is hoping that the 2 dogs will amuse each other, she is effectively asking them to form a pack together to give her some space. It won't happen. They will both want her attention just as much. I have 5 very small rescued dogs, and a large garden. When I lie down for a rest they all come and lie on top of me! They all need me, and I love it, being on my own. But trying to feed a new baby or get it off to sleep while amusing a puppy and reassuring the older dog?? That would be impossible. In some ways two dogs are no more trouble than one, but not with a new baby and not while raising another puppy. Puppy raising, after all, is like having a baby, you need to be very patient and be prepared for mess and disturbed sleep! Not something I'd do in pregnancy.

... and a NO from me as well.Many dogs are good with children ( children already in the family when dog arrives)
But dogs don’t see babies as children and don’t really know what they are! Any dog, large or small is a risk to a baby, and new parents really need to take great care.

Hurdygurdy, I am no malamute expert, my daughter is much more so but no, you can’t let them off the lead unless they are in an enclosed field. They are however much more placid than huskies, or hers is at least!! He really is a lovely boy, he doesn’t even try to jump over fences, no Houdini is he!!

I agreed wholeheartedly with the comments (which is the entire thread, really, isn't it) that it would just be too much hard work and I agree with the suggestions that you let her read this thread, just so she knows it's not just you being a worry-wort needlessly.

We found a beautiful malamute girl at our local rescue centre last year, and were desperate to adopt her. We are a three adult household, with a visiting six year old grandchild at the weekends. We weren't allowed to adopt because of her coming to visit.

We were also told, although the existing malmute owners on this thread may be able to speak otherwise, that we could not let a malamute off the lead for a run due to the intense chase instinct, and as already said above, they put Houdini to shame in terms of escaping.

We could cope with all that. But as I said, we are a three adult family and not a brain-frazzled first time mummy who likely won't know what day it is for the first few months at least.

I would definitely discourage her from this course of action as firmly as possible.

(And maybe I can have the second, unwanted malamute, as every rescue centre is looking for experienced owners. If I can't have a malamute, how do I get experience!! )