Grandsons first birthday present rejected

MawBroon perhaps we're both a bit muzzy-headed!
I hope you feel better soon

I nearly didn't post that because I didn't want to look stupid

I have 6 grandsons aged 15 down to 2. We always ask the parents what we should buy as we don’t always know what the children are ‘into’ at a particular time. I know it takes the fun out of it but it does stop us being hurt. The eldest now asks for money and we are happy to give him that. Unfortunately, I have found it best to go along with my 2 daughter-in-laws because if we made a fuss our sons would suffer and wouldn’t come down on our side in an argument.

I always ask if I haven’t been given ideas! Two walkers would take up a lot of space. Is the voucher specifically for that toy? You haven’t said! If not ask for suggestions then you can choose. Try not to be offended or you could be setting precedents for the future. Enjoy your grandson.

You have a voucher for a toy-shop, maybe you could check if they have something nice for GC's room, like a fun nighlight that shines on the ceiling? A play-carpet with streets on it to play with his toy-cars when he's a little bit older? Or a music-box that plays children's songs? That way 1) your gift would be remembered long after GC starts walking all on his own 2) the parents will be gratefull you didn't push on a gift they don't have the space for and 3) you could still use your voucher!

Me too!

because it listed 'g' for giraffe in the alphabet design. Time to make a stand against these mistakes that designers of toys and clothes continually make!!!!
I'm still puzzling that one, perhaps someone can explain please. (must be my muzzy head.)

Duplo which connects with Lego as they get older
Well, I didn't know that! Thanks Apricity, thank goodness the Duplo didn't go to the charity shop last week.

Gift giving isn’t a competitive sport it’s about bringing pleasure to the little one and putting a smile on their parents faces. I agree with Faye’s list of “rules” they are the ones I follow and are just common sense. I always ask before buying any thing for the tinies in case they already have it or if there is an issue with space. I also agree with the experience/day out gifts. I often buy two of my DD (3 DGC between them) an annual pass to a local small theme park, it’s an ideal gift as it means free entry for them on bored or wet days to the small animal zoo or the soft play, and in summer access to the maze and out door rides with only the cost of a coffee and a snack? the DD’s are careful to make sure the little ones know that the treat is on grandma and I know it gives lots of pleasure. If you can’t do that and have to use a toy voucher I would suggest letting the parents choose. As others have said small children do not tot up the cost of gifts given.it’s the love that goes with the gift that really counts.

Just a thought, why don’t you give him the voucher

I'm very against this modern trend of the parents approving gifts.
One of OP comments was that in the past generations gifts were received with thanks . I agree that this should still be the case and I will not get involved in this "send me a link" business.

If people have little space then smaller toys only can be set down as a house rule from day one , not at the time of the birthday .
I've told my son that I'm not an ordering service nor an Argos warehouse that provides his wishes for the grandchildren. I find this new approval trend very rude. It takes all the joy out of gifts and giving.

It's as if the parents nowadays see gifts as a monetary transaction to get the things they want for the child.

Presents should be a surprise, just as much for the parents as the child.

My son had previously told me that I was to put all presents past his wife for approval. . (I don't ) I was staggered at their sense of entitlement.

This was after we bought a birthday gift that my 8 year old grandson adored and plays with more than the gift they bought for him themselves.

I'm not responsible for my grandsons preference but oh did they try and imply it was done to outshine them as parents. The fact that the lad was happy escaped my son and his wife.

In fact our gift was specifically thought about before hand so as not to be too showy but was surprisingly the favourite.

I buy the grandchildren what seems appropriate , what I see on my travels and there's always a toy theme that they're in love with to add to.
Oh yes and don't forget books, books, books. All year round.

V tech do some amazing smaller toys. As said...one walker is enough. Look at other V tech toys. I am sure you will find something special. X

Following on from my previous comment, I read through the whole thread and checked out your toy suggestion. No wonder it was rejected, it's hideous in so many ways. Sorry, that is just my opinion I know, but I wouldn't give it house room even if I lived in a mansion!
It's garish in colour, has far too many conflicting features, it's certainly too big and I bet the phonic alphabet examples on it are completely incorrect and that it uses capital letters as well as so many supposedly educational toys do.

I was very proud of my pregnant younger daughter who has just refused to buy an item of clothing she liked because it listed 'g' for giraffe in the alphabet design. Time to make a stand against these mistakes that designers of toys and clothes continually make!!!!

Wooden construction toys last for years and have so much more play value.

I can understand your feelings but if minds have been made up don't take it to heart.
Bear in mind your grandson is far too young to know who his presents will be coming from and presents for a one year old will be outgrown in a short time.As you are limited for money but have a voucher why not ask your son for other ideas obtainable with that voucher. There will be many more birthdays for you to celebrate with your growing grandson so put this one episode aside and enjoy the day.

Granafone - I think your son was showing great trust in you in telling you the gift was too big for their small house. He showed that he believes it is safe to tell you their thoughts and needs - that he knows you want to contribute to their well being as a family, and would prefer to know the real situation. Maybe they didn't feel so safe to tell the other GM this. And one of the bits of advice I have always treasured about toys for children was "Give them something which is 10% toy and 90% child" in other words, some toys with batteries and bells and whistles are mostly about the toy, not the play value the child will get from it. Many mechanised toys are 90% toy - and the child will love it for a while, but not for an extended time, and will learn nothing. Bricks are an ideal toy - they can last for a long time and are a great way for a child to try out umpteen ways to use them. And puzzles which are age appropriate are good - you will be able to think of many other ideas which are 90% child!

Having reread the last sentence of your post Granophone, it would appear that this isn’t all about the birthday gift and that there are other issues involved, it seems to be the case that many MILs have issues with their DILs.

Wrong thread somehow. Gremlins everywhere.

I did wonder what a "playwright factory" was. Glad you've clarified that paperbackbuterfly. In the land of Shakespeare one never knows. ??

I always consult about presents for the GC because I know my DD has become very irritated by the other Granny who buys what SHE likes. The GC have a mountain of stuff so we tend to buy something small and then take them out somewhere special like the theatre now they're older. We are creating some lovely memories with them.
I would not risk my relationship with my DS if I were you, you should be the Granny who listens. The one year old won't know any different..

Play dough not playwright.bloomin autocorrect pfff

If they are limited with space, then I can understand that they don't want 2 similar ride on/walker type toys and your DinL will have asked her family to buy the toy of her choice already, I expect. Just because you think it's great doesn't mean they think it's practical or even like it.

I always ask what my daughters (and the grandchildren themselves when they are old enough) would like me to get as the main present and then I buy other smaller surprises of my own choice. I also confer with the other gran to make sure we don't duplicate especially re books. I'm sure there are other things you could buy with your voucher, Ask your DinL to suggest something from their catalogue.

No need to fall out about it or let it be a competition because you won't win. Alternatively, if you love it so much you could get it to keep at your house for your grandson to play on when they visit you , if they come regularly. I got a swing for my granddaughter to have at my house because I have a huge garden and they have a postage stamped one and it's a source of great joy every time she visits!!!

I would give the voucher to your son and ask him to buy something appropriate on your behalf. I won a playwright factory and wanted to give it to my granddaughter but my son said it was too messy for their small flat so I sold it and gave her the money instead. She bought a princess dress and was thrilled with it so a happy ending x

I always check with the parents. In fact with my daughter who lives a long way away, she shows me a link to what she thinks is suitable and I either order it or transfer the money to her account and she orders it and wraps it and we send birthday cards. I panic in toy shops, everything looks the same to me so for me it's a blessing not to have to do that. In these busy modern times our children know best and if we can support them in their parenting we get the added bonus of stress free times with our grandchildren.

at this age, I would often give clothes. The very large presents given by the other grandparents and uncle seem to dominate his living space. I know what a pain they can be for the parents who struggle to find room for the next big toy. Big is not better. If it was me, I would just give the voucher so they can choose their own.

I really think that the profusion of toys bought for 1 year olds are, in the end, a waste of time and space. Every charity shop is FULL of toddler toys. I remember when DGS1 was one, (he's 6 now) I brought a set of Thomas the Tank Engine books and felt a little sad that he went straight for the "bells and whistles" ride on toy bought by the other GP'S - but Thomas the Tank engine was still nightly reading two and a half years later, when the ride on toy was consigned to landfill.

If you have to use a voucher all at once how about lots of little things spaced out over age appropriateness and you will have a store of many gifts for a long time thus saving you time and money later.