Grandsons first birthday present rejected

I would open a savings account for him and put money into it for when he goes to uni. Just buy a small gift, most children now days have more than enough toys for a small school.

Could you not just give them the voucher

'No more big toys' I wish I had a pound for every time I have heard that. It is just practical advice and not to be offended by.

When kids are small it sometimes better to put some money int he piggy bank and just but a small gift, they don't know any difference.

Try not to be disappointed. I'm sure your son didn't rralise he was hurting your feelings. I always ask the parents (usually the mums, as my sons have little idea.) Both my daughter in laws say (and its true) that children have far too many toys, and space is limited to store them. Could you buy your choice of toy to keep at your house? I have 5 grandchildren, number 6 on the way, and I keep toys and have a tablet and ipad here (for the older ones, if they dont want to bring their own).

my grandson is one in a week or so, he adores his "mobile phone" He wasn't well when I babysat yesterday and he sat for ages on my lap playing with it. Normally he crawls around with it in his hand

Faye’s set of rules is just right for grandparents.
I think you have to be practical and also remember it isn’t a competition. Many of our offspring are living in smaller accommodation than we were at their ages. My son is in the same position, limiting large toys as they just don’t have space. I ask for advice before I start present shopping and because he always takes so long to come back to me with suggestions I threaten a drum kit and get a list of ideas by return.

If I was in your position I would be grateful to be told that something else would be more appropriate. Why would you want to waste your hard earned money on a toy which is unnecessary and would be a nuisance to the parents. Ask them what would be useful and enjoyable for the little one. A set of good picture books, building blocks etc etc.

Also, be pleased that your son has a good relationship with you and did not just accept your gift and then have to pretend how wonderful it was.

How about 6 books to be opened at 2 monthly intervals throughout the year?

I agree with Bluebell. Take her advice.

We always ask if there is anything the parents particularly want/need for our DGS. We have put money towards a swing set, along with other GPs. His 3rd birthday is coming up in a few months, we will once again ask if they have anything in mind. He has so many toys as it is, but the favourites come out every week.

Ginny I would like to know which suggestions are text book.

The list works for me, I don’t want to waste my money on gifts my grandchildren don’t want and their parents don’t want to store.

granofone your DS has been open and honest with you, you should be proud that you have such a good relationship with him. He obviously feels very close to you. Asking you to get something else is very reasonable. Think how much worse it would have been if he had kept quiet and simply 'disappeared' your present because ther wasn't enough room for it. This actually happened to someone I know. The over large present was consigned to the garden shed! I always ask if there is anything they need. One of the best and most lasting presents I have bought is a pretty night light, 5 year old GD is still using it.

My son is discovering just exactly how much space in his small flat a tiny seventh month old takes up and we have had a conversation about what it's appropriate for me to buy. I have just bought him a 'jumperoo' type thing, but agreed it will stay at my house for when they visit here. Son really has no room for much more than the baby basics.
I can understand that you are disappointed, but try not to let it spoil your enjoyment of the baby's birthday - he will know not, nor care, what you buy.

I think you are taking offence where none is meant, and taking this rather too much to heart. There are lots of other things you could use the voucher for. Two walkers in a small flat is just beyond good sense!

I could be your DIL.
Both my children are still very young and I have had this argument many many times over 4 years where in the end I had to come down hard and say one small present. Anymore than that will be returned to the giver.

I was the one managing mess and clutter. I was the one finding homes for mountains of toys that evidently never got played with and then I was the one who would have to take them to the charity shop.

A one year old won't care. Don't put to much thought and emotion into to it.
Ask them what they need. Books are alway wanted and as a book Lover I always adored them and read to my children every night. My son can tell me who gave him which book because every night I'd say this is from XYZ. But he won't be able to explain who gave him one but if plastic in his toy box.

If you had your heart set on a walker how about the very old fashioned little truck with bricks. I know that in our family such a toy was loved by everyone. Essentially it is a toy that grows with the little one and is used for years.

A nice idea would be to buy a tea set to go along with the kitchen-walker. I bought one of the GSs a bright red and yellow set- teapot, cups, saucers and plates. And you could also add pots and pans. Even at a year old, small children can develop their imaginations and these toys will last for years as they grow. A plea for the poor parents - don't buy toys that flash and play tinny tunes. Eventually they drive the parents crazy but the advantage is that the batteries do run out!

Forgot to say, that if you look in the local charity shops they will have plenty of nearly New books and large floor jigsaws that are ideal for small children without costing a fortune, not to mention the online book sellers that have really cheap sets of books ideal for bedtime reading with the grandparents. Try to think outside the box, some gifts cost pennies, trips out, offers of babysitting, start a small photo album, even a height chart, we still use ours on our very tall GCs even though they are teenagers, and they love looking at photos of them when very young. Please enjoy your GC and don’t stress about special gifts whilst they are so young.

Some excellent advice here, our DD had a small house and tiny back yard, we always cleared it with her before we bought them birthday and Christmas gifts as we weren’t always around to see what they already had. However, we have a large garden and we bought large gifts, some second hand and kept them here, and large indoor gifts were kept in the shed and brought out when they came to stay. That said I was usually asked to buy clothes for them when they were so young and a small gift as a token. We also opened a savings account for them and put small amounts in when we could.The gift they had the most fun With was the trampoline, they didn’t like the trampoline much because of the bugs that crawled out when they bounced, but my goodness the years of fun they had with the huge box! It became a canoe, a stage for puppets and umpteen other things. One of the nicest things our one year old GD received for her birthday was a framed, hand written poem made up especially for her, she is 14 now and still has it on her wall, everyone at the birthday party secretly wished that they had thought of it. There will be plenty of times that you can give gifts, try not to make birthdays and Christmas a competition. I think that giving the toy voucher to the parents to use is an excellent idea.

I’ve been thinking about your situation granofone and do understand your disappointment but I agree with others, two walkers aren’t needed and by saying so your son isn’t rejecting you, just your idea. It’s a compliment that he can be open with you, he may also be concerned about the expenditure for you. Our daughter in laws have huge families. One functions by very clear lists for people to pick, the other just by chatting when asked. Having said that I fell into the same trap as you before Christmas, had my heart set on a particular gift that had the child’s parents shuddering, again a space issue. It was something I had always wanted for our own children but couldn’t provide. Fortunately I realised what I had done and let the thought go. If your voucher is for any toy store then the large ones carry a huge range of items. Don’t be sad, there will be something there that will work, us grandparents learn as we go along and your little grandson truly won’t judge you by gifts, he’ll love you for being you.

My DGS still hasn't even taken our Christmas present out if the box yet. I'm not surprised. He and his brother had so many many plastic creatures and other toys that one more just doesn't matter to him. Their playroom is just a sea of brightly coloured plastic. DD rakes the bits into boxes. All this is as a result of ridiculous expectations based on advertising.
The most successful things we've given as presents have been experiences like a day as a zoo keeper or organising a visit from a zoo at home company.
A one year old really won't remember his gift from you. Give a small toy and have some more at your house - a great reason to have him to visit when he's older.
I'm looking now at a complicated garage set that we keep in the sitting room ready for the boys. They make a beeline for it every time. Our bookcase is stacked with books for them as well as games that we have the time to spend playing with the DGSs unlike their busy parents. It's a marathon not a sprint being a Gran!

I always liaise with the other Grandparents before Christmas and Birthdays to ensure we do not but the same things.

Having brought up 2 toddlers in a 2 bed maisonette, I appreciate the 'where to put a big toy' dilemma. Favourites were a play mat with all the bells and whistles which folded away at bed time and a box swing which hung on two hooks in a doorway - a great place to 'plank' a 1 year old while working in the kitchen.

Walkers are probably the most short-lived toys of all - children can only start to use them once they can manage to walk along with them on wobbly legs, then they're discarded as soon as they can walk unaided, which is only a matter of weeks!
As you hadn't actually bought the toy, it's not really a rejection. I expect your DS thought that when you sent him the link you were asking what he thought of it (otherwise why send the link, why not just buy, wrap and give it?). So I really wouldn't be too disappointed at him saying it's not what they want for their little boy. As you have a toy voucher I'm sure there will be plenty of other toys you can choose from.
Our DD lives in a tiny 2 bedroomed house and we have always asked her first before buying toys. It is a constant battle to keep the house free of clutter - every Christmas and birthday she has to ruthlessly cull older toys and sell them on or give them to charity as it is simply impossible to keep adding to the pile!

Good advice here, but taking the amount of space the young family have at their disposal is important. Other than that, liaising with the other GPS can avoid expensive mistakes.
Does your DGS spend much time at your house, and how are you for space? You could make him even more eager to come to visit by having a good choice of indoor and outdoor toys “just for him”. A sit and ride Ladybird, Cosy Coupe car, slide and/ or sandtable, paddling pool etc.
Baby walkers only last so long anyway and you don’t need two (even if yours would have been better!)
If you really want to mark his first birthday, and who wouldn’t, you could give THEM the voucher to spend as they see fit and just get him something fun to wear for the day.
Don’t let it get to you, these things will happen again and again unless you take some “avoiding action”

A child doesn't need two walkers. It is not wrong to feel disappointed but it would be wrong to think you are being sidelined. Does your son know about the voucher and the fact that you can't afford much? It might be worth telling him, if only for future reference. Meanwhile I hope you can find another use for the voucher.