Grandsons first birthday present rejected

I'm sorry your DS had reservations about the toy. But I once felt awkward when I bought GD a dress for her birthday and other grandma came with a big toy.

I know DS and D-in-L don't like big presents or too many toys so I get books or clothes (if they want them). They get fed up with the other grandma's big toys but don't like to tell her! They've confided it to me though. I keep some toys at our house but GDs like playing without toys best just having time with an interested adult.

Don't be too hurt, it's better to know for in the future.

You can get these for small flats, they fold and unfold quickly www.argos.co.uk/product/1391938

A spot of advice on presents, be careful if you buy those V-Tech swinging animal seats, the ones that twist, turn, light up and make noise, think we bought a zebra.. Once assembled they can't be taken apart, which is a shame when the child lives 400 miles away and travels on the train!! We couldn't even send it through UPS as we usually do after Christmas.

I agree M0nica My nephews favourite present was a sweatshirt I bought him from M&S with a picture of Winnie the Poo on the front. He insisted on always wearing it to the point that my sister had to take it out the wash to get him out the house once. He also liked a shirt that I gave him and always wore it to parties. I used to give him a toy but always some clothes. I would have like new clothes as a child.

I was having a conversation with DS this weekend and he was saying that they are over run with so much plastic tat toys that they are refusing to let any more into the house because DGC rarely, if ever play with it. Little bits get lost or broken and so much of it ends up just being shoved in a cupboard and forgotten about until another lot has to be shoved in. I've got round it by buying a small token gift, such as a book or craft materials and then either taking the birthday child to an appropriate theatre show or the cinema or, alternatively, putting some money in their bank accounts for the future.

I have been surprised how much my DGC enjoy receiving clothes as presents. As a child my sister and I considered clothes as presents as a real let down, unless we had, very rarely, asked for something very specific.

I recently gave DGS, aged 7, a winter puffer jacket with Darth Vader on the back, which I bought very cheaply in a sale. He is delighted with it and has insisted on wearing it to school ever since. I have had the same response with other clothes I have bought him and his elder sister.

and remember - it's not you who is being rejected, it's just your idea of what you thought would be a nice present.

The world is full of other ideas for 1 year old. Buy what the DP suggest and let the other GP's present be the one that is tripped over and gets in the way.

So, hope you've got the message newmon101.
To recap: Our children have small houses
Plastic crap is very environmentally un-PC
Grandparents shouldn't play 'Who bought the biggest present'
Parents should always be consulted on birthday/ Christmas presents ( some maybe unsuitable or downright dangerous ).
I accept you're going a bit OTT as it's your first,, but if you want a good relationship with GCs yet unborn ..... rein back!

I always ask the parents what my grandchildren would like. Please don’t buy the big toy. On mumsnet there are so many posts about grandparents not listening and going ahead and buying unsuitable items.

I always check with my DS and DDiL before buying DGC anything, other than the odd item of clothing. They know best what the DGC would like, whether they have enough space and all the other problems that could arise that I would not know of.

It is not looking a gift horse in the mouth to ask for a toy not to be given if it could end up never being used, or a source of danger specific to their house or lives, or just superfluous to what has already been given.

In fact I have rarely ever bought DGC a toy. DS & DDiL didn't have children until they were nearly 40, after all their friends and as a result keep getting so many toys past onto them, unrequested that even they find it difficult to buy toys for their own children, because of all the hand -me-downs.

Your DGC's parents know best what would be suitable for their children. Always consult them first. They are their children, not yours.

OP it's not a competition as other PPs have said. Give the parents the voucher so they can use it and perhaps get some books or something small your GS could use later on. It is worth checking with your DS even with books - one of my DCs received three of "Each Peach Pear Plum". Though by age three she'd worn 2 of them out. Your GS is only one and won't remember anything but warmth and love for another few years yet but put in time if you can and you'll get much more repayment.

Definitely agree that your DS wasn't out to hurt you - simply being practical. We always ask before buying 'big' presents for the DCs as both families have limited space. A nice book suitable for a 1-year old would be good, with a lovely inscription inside from you and which hopefully would be treasured? Or a good quality money-box with a contribution inside? I can understand your wanting to use your toyshop vouchers but hopefully they can be used for several smaller things rather than one large item.

I don't think it is this generation. My MIL drove us mad buying huge toys and not just one. It got ridiculous and to be honest we dreaded seeing her at Christmas and birthdays. Her answer was always that she had bought a box/case something to keep it in as if that made it disappear.

It is hell living in a small house that is overflowing with plastic junk the kids barely look at and it is such a waste of money and resources.

I always ask parents what the children like/want/need. It seems perfectly logical to me.

I would buy books,and spend quality time reading with him. Children love being read to,and you get that lovely time with them.My son’s inlaws always buy big and my DS and DDL struggle to accommodate the presents. I now buy books or good quality clothes in the sales, which always gets the thumbs up, and if no clothes a small amount into their bank accounts.My favourite is definately the books and the reading,I love it. I always said that I would not be the gran that bought toys,I want to be the gran that they talk and play with, the fun gran,and I do have a completely different relashionship with my DGC ,than their other grandparents. Try not to worry about what you spend,it is the quality time with you they will remember.

Haven't been able to read the whole thread so sorry if repeating but I would suggest an easy first puzzle, some thick crayons and paper or a box of wooden building bricks have been used in this house for years, he is too small at present but they will come in as he moves through year 1 to 2. Don't feel rejected, can you imagine the parents thoughts when they realised they could be faced with two large toys in a tiny space, how nice that he felt on safe enough ground to mention it to you and you won't be wasting money

And sorry to derail the thread a little, but @jackiesue, it was for that reason (but in reverse) that I came here looking for a grandparents take on the situation. My parents were constantly asking to come along to things, from the time DD was born, even things that wouldn't be happening for a year and tried to invite themselves on our holiday this summer. We wanted to spend time as our own little family on occasion, without my mom stopping us for photos every 5 seconds and not letting us enjoy the day and my dad wandering off with DD so we didn't actually get to see her enjoy things! Obviously you may not have been acting the same way, but just wanted to give my take on it. For me, I know I'm going back to work part time soon, so my time with DD will be a little less, and I want to make the most of it. We just explained to family that we want them to spend time with DD but we need time as our family as well, and that means days out without the grandparents. Have you tried suggesting activities you could all go to, rather than asking to go along to things, that way they still get their days of family time and you get to spend days with GC as well.

Nannarose a shed in a tiny garden is a luxury compared with what you get in one of today's modern 2-bed flats where the bedrooms are just big enough for the beds, and the kitchen isn't even seperate from the living room. In fact I describe it as "you have to put your sofa in the kitchen". If you have any toy that won't fit in the toybox in one of those flats, then the entire home looks like a messy playgroup permanently.

Usually in those circumstances, the parents take the child to a play centre regularly, and they get to use the wheeled and messy toys there, so they don't miss out altogether.

Hi OP, I currently have an almost 1 year old DD and also don't have a massive amount of space. We asked family and friends to not buy bigger items (or spend too much!) because when DD was first born we were swamped with things, most of which haven't been worn/played with as they grow so quickly and it just seemed such a waste. I get that your disappointed about the situation, but try to see it as you will be able to get something useful for your grandson, it may be that the other grandparents were asked not to buy a walker but still did! MIL bought a walker for DD for Christmas despite DH asking her not to (we just accepted it as I didn't see the point in a fuss as it was already bought) but it's really not suitable for the space/flooring we have. How about getting something crafty you could do with him? When he's older he won't remember who bought him what for his first birthday, but he will remember spending time with his family. Moonsand is a good one, I bought it for several nieces and nephews, plus it makes a lovely mess for parents to clean up!

I haven't read all of this, so apologies if the point has been made.
We lived in a small house when children were small, and I said to family -please check gifts with us so kids can get maximum use out of them - they did and we still have some of the lovely toys that have lasted, for GCs to play with when they visit.
Our GCs also live in a small house and the other GPs (lovely people in all other respects) cannot resist buying large toys for which there is little room. There is not much room to 'play' just move around huge plastic toys. GCs' uncles bought a carefully chosen 'balance' bike for the park. Other GPs bought a huge Superhero bike without consulting the parents. A shed for large wheeled toys takes up much of the tiny garden. I myself can't see why the other GPs can't 'see' this and stop buying stuff!
Of course we we work around it, but the parents know that we won't be offended if asked to dial it down, whilst the others might.

My daughter has a large house but still asked me not to buy anything for birthdays that would take up too much space. Now I always ask before I buy. I don't get much enjoyment out of it but I suppose that's not the point.

Thanks everyone for all your advise,will ask DL if there is anything they would like or just give them the voucher.

Could you keep it at your house so he can ride on it when he visits? My house is overrun with toys for my DGCs - many of them belonged to my DD and DS!

For my granddaughter 1st birthday present I bought her a pandora's bracelet, just the bracelet medium sized. Now every year I get her a new bead to go on it. By the time she's old enough to wear it, it should have quite a few beads on it. Something for the garden in the summer maybe nice, a small slide perhaps or a child's tent or wigwam by then he could be walking and he won't need a walker

My sons house is also small so I tend to buy jigsaws or learning toys that don't take us much room. I agree with the others about you perhaps giving them the voucher or buy smaller toys that don't take up much space. In my experience kids prefer the empty boxes to play with .

If toy voucher is for Toys R Us spend it immediately as they are going into liquidation at end of month unless they can find £15M.