what should I do - son, partner, new baby

I would suggest saying you are happy to go back and help but will wait until they suggest when the time is right. Put the ball in their court . I'm sure things will improve. It is probably the stress of having a new baby. Enjoy your new GC

Go back. Book a few days in Premier Inn. Treat oldest child to an overnight stay- what a treat!
You can help as necessary, clear off and let everyone recharge batteries!

This is a story that crops up on GN regularly. Their life is full of stresses at the moment and they don’t need you to add to it in any way. You wouldn’t do that deliberately I know but they are up to their ears in new baby and all that entails.

Let me show you another side of the coin. I’m the granny that lives close and has day to day contact with my grandchildren. That’s lovely.

My co-grandparents only visit now and then, because they live far away. BUT their visit is extra special and I get sidelined when they do visit ....but that’s how it should be.

Their role, and yours if you play your cards right, is the extra special granny who isn’t seen as often but when she does come it’s a time for fun, games, outings, gifts, etc..

Two different roles. I’m not suggesting you go OTT with presents when you do visit, and don’t expect too much when the little one is still quite young, but over the years you can build up a very special relationship with grandchildren in this way. Mine go on holiday with their other grandparents now they’re older.

We all have to take what we can from our roles as grandparents. It’s early days yet. I suggest you build bridges with your son and his partner and think about your new role and what you can bring to it.

I agree with BlueBelle it must have been very stressful for the new parents and then it sounds like a few wires were crossed.
Allow a little time for things to settle and then talk to them again.
Be happy they have help from the other GPs, its not a competition. I'm sure they will be glad of your help a bit later on.

There have been so many of these ‘new baby /mother in law’ posts over the last few weeks I m really thinking you all should start a club
8 people in the house with a new baby is ridiculous
Do what they are comfortable with and accept your son is not yours any more he has his own family and yes you probably will be s long distance granny if you live 8 hours away what else ?
What’s with people expecting to be at the birth shouldn’t that be a time for husband and wife only to bond with their new bundle
I do think it’s unreasonable to expect you to turn round and come straight back but it sounds as if wires got crossed they didn’t think you were actually going to leave (which may have been a jerk reaction from you) and then felt guilty you went, your son is trying to juggle a mum he loves a new wife he loves and a new baby give him a break explain you did what you thought would be helpful and will come back as soon as you are able perhaps when the novelty has worn off a bit
I hope the in laws back off too and leave the young couple to enjoy their new baby
Too many people getting involved I think all mums and mums in law should be far less involved let these couples find their own way like we all did