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Feeling unloved and poorly

(130 Posts)
over60plus Sat 03-Mar-18 19:27:39

Well went to Spain on 18th Feb for a weeks sun started to feel unwell on arrival sick, coughing could not get out of bed, when we arrived home I insisted my husband took me to hospitals was admitted with severe chest infection and this dam FLU I have never felt so unwell, they kept me for 4 days sent home under GP care and my husband, went to bed did not get up for 3 days not once did he say how are you feeling do you want a drink etc, got up and dressed today still feel really weak what does he say all the holiday ironing needs doing, Do you realise how poorly I have felt his answer I have not had a proper cooked meal for over a week I give up

Marianne1953 Sun 04-Mar-18 08:32:51

Don’t do his ironing, you are both on holiday, why should you do the housework. I never iron any of my clothes and therefore only my husband’s clothes are in the ironing basket and that’s where they stay, unless he does them.
You are his partner not his mother.
Hope you are feeling better soon, it’s can take a long time to get back to normal

Jane10 Sun 04-Mar-18 08:31:52

My DH did very well when I had my knee replacement. No complaints. However, I knew he'd struggle with laundering the double duvet cover and sheets but DD suggested he take them to a local laundrette and ask for a service wash. Good plan I thought. Until I heard that had cost £18. He'd had them dry cleaned! He blamed me for not explaining the difference. Oh well.
Hope you feel better soon over60plus

Peardrop50 Sun 04-Mar-18 08:31:17

I do hope he has been bringing you at least fluids during the three days you didn’t get up at all.
Please say he at least did that. He sounds very selfish and perhaps a bit spoilt. Time to rethink your training for his own good as well as yours of course.

Houseseller Sun 04-Mar-18 08:30:25

What a plonker, you are not responsible for your husbands care any more than he thinks he is not responsible for yours. Look after yourself and cook something nice for yourself if you feel up to it, let him go forth and multiply smile hope you get better soon.

farview Sun 04-Mar-18 08:26:06

..just flipping well ignore him,get yourself well..that's what matters.. earplugs if needed,be a bit tougher..don't let him gnaw at you ??

SussexGirl60 Sun 04-Mar-18 08:25:57

Hi, I expect when you are fully recovered, you’ll feel a bit less annoyed with him but that said, I think many men of his generation are the same. they see wives primarily, in a certain role, and if you can’t fulfill that, they’re at a loss to understand. Exercise some self compassion -treat yourself and do some things to make yourself feel good. Be selfish for once and he might get the message enough to change just a little bit.

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 23:09:51

Sorry "glammanana", just read your post and see it's very similar to my last one! Great minds and all that!! ?

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 23:07:21

ps do you feel up to packing his bags?

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 23:06:46

I never thought of recommending an ironing service!
Good idea.
Can you do an online shop and order all your favourite foods to tempt you? Waitrose do some reasonably good ready meals and will deliver. I don't think that M&S deliver.

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 23:01:46

Oh, and regarding him not having a proper cooked meal for over a week, tell him to get a b....y takeaway and sign up to a cookery class whilst he's at it!! This is the 21st century not the 18th!!!

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 22:57:43

If you decide to send it to be professionally done, present your DH with the bill!!

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 22:56:18

Stand your ground with him. I'm afraid he sounds totally selfish and uncaring. As already mentioned, have you any children who could give him a good talking to? As regards to the ironing, you could say " Oh, I'm glad you've noticed the ironing needs doing, how thoughtful of you - the iron is ( say where it is, if he does not know) and the ironing board is (again say where is is), how lovely and helpful of you to offer to do it whilst I am so unwell, a lot of husbands would be just so selfish not to realise, unlike you" ??

cornergran Sat 03-Mar-18 21:44:23

Yes, an ironing service and a short term cleaning service plus if at all possible someone to cook for you - the things you like to eat. You aren’t a machine, but you know if you were you would get down time if you needed fixing. Hope you feel better very soon,

glammanana Sat 03-Mar-18 21:36:21

I do sympathise with you what an uncaring person your OH is,collect your washing and ironing up and send to be done professionally and present him with the bill,give him a list of takeaways and get him to order in if he can't manage at his age to feed himself,I must be blessed as my hubby would make sure I was 100% before even suggesting such tasks.
Get well soon xxflowers

etheltbags1 Sat 03-Mar-18 21:17:12

Hope you feel better soon. I was off work for 3 weeks with virus then chest infectipn and it makes you fed up. I sympathise and im so glad i dont have a man

nanaK54 Sat 03-Mar-18 21:00:23

I am so sorry to read this, I second the idea of using an ironing service (+ man removal service)
Really hope you feel much better soon flowers

MissAdventure Sat 03-Mar-18 20:30:45

Itchy ones? grin

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:29:04

Just a nasty dose of flu!

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:27:14

Maybe one could wish something uncomfortable but not life threatening.
Piles, for instance?

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:26:02

(Would it be uncharitable to wish a teeny weeny virus on him? )
Not at all!
I felt very mean wishing just a teeny weeny bit of flu virus to hit someone recently (no-one belonging to me I should add - and thank goodness for that).

Then I retracted it as I wondered if karma might turn it on to me hmm

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:23:19

Just a point, and I am in NO way excusing himself who needs a good talking to. But my sis in law, a retired GP is of the opinion that viral infections affect our mood more than bacterial infections and flu can make you miserable, tearful, feeling unloved etc over and above the physical effects.
I know I have been (even) more tearful than usual andI suspect it’s not all down to bereavement.
However, your OH still needs a good shake ! angry

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:16:43

I hope you feel better soon.
When you do feel better do your own ironing and leave his in a heap in the basket.
brew

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:15:56

Hear hear missAdventure!
Somebody (an adult child?) needs to sit this man down and pu him straight.
(Would it be uncharitable to wish a teeny weeny virus on him? )
Don’t get mad, get even !

BlueBelle Sat 03-Mar-18 19:58:45

Over60 sorry to hear how poorly you ve been sounds like life on your own would be preferable have you any family you could go to for a convalescence for a or week or two (or three)

MissAdventure Sat 03-Mar-18 19:56:12

See if you can get the ironing collected and delivered back when its all done.
I'm tempted to say try to get your husband collected too.
flowers