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Feeling unloved and poorly

(129 Posts)
over60plus Sat 03-Mar-18 19:27:39

Well went to Spain on 18th Feb for a weeks sun started to feel unwell on arrival sick, coughing could not get out of bed, when we arrived home I insisted my husband took me to hospitals was admitted with severe chest infection and this dam FLU I have never felt so unwell, they kept me for 4 days sent home under GP care and my husband, went to bed did not get up for 3 days not once did he say how are you feeling do you want a drink etc, got up and dressed today still feel really weak what does he say all the holiday ironing needs doing, Do you realise how poorly I have felt his answer I have not had a proper cooked meal for over a week I give up

silverlining48 Sat 03-Mar-18 19:35:29

Sorry to hear that over60. Hope you start to feel better soon. It can take a lot longer than you expect, so take care.

sodapop Sat 03-Mar-18 19:35:44

That is unforgivable over60 Is he normally so uncaring ?

Some people of course cannot cope when their nearest and dearest is ill and just try to ignore it. You really need to sit down with him and explain how you feel and what help you need. Can you organise some help in the house until you feel better.

over60plus Sat 03-Mar-18 19:46:10

No he has always been the same tried to say how I was feeling he said I am fed up nobody goes to bed for 2 weeks with flu, I said a lot of people have died with this flu
He just does not answer

MissAdventure Sat 03-Mar-18 19:56:12

See if you can get the ironing collected and delivered back when its all done.
I'm tempted to say try to get your husband collected too.

BlueBelle Sat 03-Mar-18 19:58:45

Over60 sorry to hear how poorly you ve been sounds like life on your own would be preferable have you any family you could go to for a convalescence for a or week or two (or three)

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:15:56

Hear hear missAdventure!
Somebody (an adult child?) needs to sit this man down and pu him straight.
(Would it be uncharitable to wish a teeny weeny virus on him? )
Don’t get mad, get even !

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:16:43

I hope you feel better soon.
When you do feel better do your own ironing and leave his in a heap in the basket.

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:23:19

Just a point, and I am in NO way excusing himself who needs a good talking to. But my sis in law, a retired GP is of the opinion that viral infections affect our mood more than bacterial infections and flu can make you miserable, tearful, feeling unloved etc over and above the physical effects.
I know I have been (even) more tearful than usual andI suspect it’s not all down to bereavement.
However, your OH still needs a good shake ! angry

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:26:02

(Would it be uncharitable to wish a teeny weeny virus on him? )
Not at all!
I felt very mean wishing just a teeny weeny bit of flu virus to hit someone recently (no-one belonging to me I should add - and thank goodness for that).

Then I retracted it as I wondered if karma might turn it on to me hmm

MawBroon Sat 03-Mar-18 20:27:14

Maybe one could wish something uncomfortable but not life threatening.
Piles, for instance?

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 20:29:04

Just a nasty dose of flu!

MissAdventure Sat 03-Mar-18 20:30:45

Itchy ones? grin

nanaK54 Sat 03-Mar-18 21:00:23

I am so sorry to read this, I second the idea of using an ironing service (+ man removal service)
Really hope you feel much better soon flowers

etheltbags1 Sat 03-Mar-18 21:17:12

Hope you feel better soon. I was off work for 3 weeks with virus then chest infectipn and it makes you fed up. I sympathise and im so glad i dont have a man

glammanana Sat 03-Mar-18 21:36:21

I do sympathise with you what an uncaring person your OH is,collect your washing and ironing up and send to be done professionally and present him with the bill,give him a list of takeaways and get him to order in if he can't manage at his age to feed himself,I must be blessed as my hubby would make sure I was 100% before even suggesting such tasks.
Get well soon xxflowers

cornergran Sat 03-Mar-18 21:44:23

Yes, an ironing service and a short term cleaning service plus if at all possible someone to cook for you - the things you like to eat. You aren’t a machine, but you know if you were you would get down time if you needed fixing. Hope you feel better very soon,

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 22:56:18

Stand your ground with him. I'm afraid he sounds totally selfish and uncaring. As already mentioned, have you any children who could give him a good talking to? As regards to the ironing, you could say " Oh, I'm glad you've noticed the ironing needs doing, how thoughtful of you - the iron is ( say where it is, if he does not know) and the ironing board is (again say where is is), how lovely and helpful of you to offer to do it whilst I am so unwell, a lot of husbands would be just so selfish not to realise, unlike you" 😁😁

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 22:57:43

If you decide to send it to be professionally done, present your DH with the bill!!

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 23:01:46

Oh, and regarding him not having a proper cooked meal for over a week, tell him to get a b....y takeaway and sign up to a cookery class whilst he's at it!! This is the 21st century not the 18th!!!

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 23:06:46

I never thought of recommending an ironing service!
Good idea.
Can you do an online shop and order all your favourite foods to tempt you? Waitrose do some reasonably good ready meals and will deliver. I don't think that M&S deliver.

Jalima1108 Sat 03-Mar-18 23:07:21

ps do you feel up to packing his bags?

Mapleleaf Sat 03-Mar-18 23:09:51

Sorry "glammanana", just read your post and see it's very similar to my last one! Great minds and all that!! 😁

SussexGirl60 Sun 04-Mar-18 08:25:57

Hi, I expect when you are fully recovered, you’ll feel a bit less annoyed with him but that said, I think many men of his generation are the same. they see wives primarily, in a certain role, and if you can’t fulfill that, they’re at a loss to understand. Exercise some self compassion -treat yourself and do some things to make yourself feel good. Be selfish for once and he might get the message enough to change just a little bit.

farview Sun 04-Mar-18 08:26:06

..just flipping well ignore him,get yourself well..that's what matters.. earplugs if needed,be a bit tougher..don't let him gnaw at you 🌷🌷