Inheritance

Where is the OP?It would be interesting to hear her remarks on the response she has aroused.

£25? Really? Where I live a rented room in a shared house to include all bills is around the £400 per month mark, add to that food and insurance for property etc. Your son certainly has a generous enough Mum already.
Your responsibility is to provide for yourself and your disabled child, the others should jog on behave like the adults they are and provide for themselves.

interesting case Mine had some similarities except that my father wished to disinherit one of my children. Rather than explain to her I decided it was MY money and did not give anything to any of them

I think he should be ashamed of himself. As an adult he has no right to anything and if he does inherit from you at some point he should be grateful. I have tried to talk to my DSs about inheritance and they keep telling me to spend it and enjoy it. They don't expect a thing.

When my Father sold his house and went to live with my sister on France he gave my sister and me a certain amount and kept some for himself for treats etc. The first Christmas after receiving this I gave both my children £1000 each with every intention to give more as and when they needed it as they both had families and homes of their own. Well I was informed the next day that given how much I had received from my Dad that this was not enough!! I'd had every intention of helping out when they needed it in the future. Of I'd given them a larger amount each it. would have been spent in a flash with nothing to show for it.
I have to say their reaction broke my heart and caused a rift for years. They didn't understand my motive of drip feeding them monetary gifts when they would need it in the future. It also took away all the enjoyment I initially felt at giving them that first £1000 for Christmas. Fast forward 10 years or so and bridges have been built and they've had more than their share from me in monetary gifts for holidays carpets and wedding presents. They know I was right and I hope that one day they will both be able to apologise properly to me. In the meantime I'm happily SKIing (spending the kids inheritance) without any guilt whatsoever. If there's anything left when we die they can have what's left but we intend to enjoy what my Father left ME!

therese,

At age 27, your son is a grown adult! He should be thinking about why he's not living on his own and becoming independent, instead of pressuring you to hand over all or part of your rightfully acquired inheritance.

Your father intended that inheritance for you ...ALL of it... and it's yours to keep (nobody else's) for as long as you live!

I'm guessing the money produces a regular monthly amount for your living expenses and that's reason enough why you shouldn't touch it. Just remember that you don't 'owe' your inheritance to anyone, not even your adult son.

Inheritances always seem to bring out the worst in people - I've seen it. The sense of entitlement is astonishing at times.

You are already helping him financially by accepting such a low amount of rent.

To be asking this question, you obviously feel that he should not expect to be given a lump sum from what is your future money to live on.

The answer - no. It is yours. If you change your mind because you WANT to give, and without any feeling of resentment, then that is your decision to make.

I don't think you should be pressured like this. You need it more than him at the moment. He's got his life ahead of him to make something of it, but you are more limited I'm sure, especially with a disabled son to look after. Just say, no!!

No, you are already helping him by supporting him £25 is nothing these days.
Tell him your dad your choice and if he has a problem with that then tough.

I wholeheartedly agree with Bluegal

If your father had wanted your sons to have a share of his inheritance he would have left them something. He could probably see that you might need extra financial support if your son's disability should worsen. I assume your able bodied son is able to earn a living and support himself. That money is YOURS and he has no right to expect any share of it. If it is a substantial sum it might help you to consult a solicitor or financial advisor - Citizens Advice perhaps. Don't be pressured, your long term security and independence is what is important here.

Your money keep it. That is what your father wanted.

I do think your son cannot image what it is like to have a limited income to last you for the rest of your life and as we get older our working and earning ability reduces. Also as a single mum you must have struggled and this inheritance from your father was to help you. At 27 with no responsibilities he really doesn't understand the real world.

Maybe when your son does buy a property you could buy him something for his new home. He will find out the true cost of living when he does move out.

Tell the 27 year old to grow up! You have enough responsibilities without subsidising a fully fit adult.

You inherited this from your parent he may well inherit from his when the time comes but don't think he should have anything at the moment. Why does he feel entitled?

Better not to lend money for a deposit on a house.
10-1 you wouldn't get it back. He'd cite a million reasons including that the mortgsge payments wipe him out blah blah.
You could get him to sign a legal agreement (with an independent witness) giving him an effective timescale in which to repay you and an amount you agree on but beware,
it may not be enforceable, as such agreements with family members whether written or verbal, are deemed to be domestic arrangements and courts view them differently.
I say this from experience.

SarahHW

I think you're a bit mixed up.
The OP has 2 sons.
A disabled one and a 27 yr old who lives with his mum and brother whilst saving up to buy a house.

NO. It's none of his business.
Your father wanted you to have it otherwise he would have apportioned it differently.
Tell your miserly son that if there is anything left when you die, it will be divided between him and your other son.
Meanwhile, he should be paying MUCH more than £25 pw for his keep regardless of his saving for a house. I bet you do his washing and cooking and clean the house too.
He's 27 not 17 or 7.
He must stand on his own two feet.
Be firm and don't let him bully you or make you feel guilty about saying no, just say it.

This is your inheritance from your father and you are entitled to do with it what you wish...not what other people think you should. Your children would have been specifically named in his will if that was his wish. Unfortunately a lot of people these days think they are entitled to a share of something. You have your long term future to think of and may well need this inheritance for that purpose.

Be strong. The money is yours and it sounds as though you need it.

Therese.
My opinion is no strings attached unlike another who believes you should divulge the contents of your inheritance. The money was left to you.Your generosity already enables your disabled son to save for his own home so why should you give him more. I do not believe your working son is 'entitled' only if YOU want to give him any of it. This inheritance will enable you to have a better standard of life and if you haven't made a will, which I advise you to do even more so now with this inheritance, then this will stipulate what is to be done with your assets.

Do you imagine he would look after you financially if you live to a great old age and the money has long run out? If not then no. You will spend and save it far more wisely than they will and frankly your son has a cheek to ask for it.

Do what suits you, it's yourr money and the boys will benefit when you de. £25.00 all in that's a gift anyway

sorry, I should have added that that amount would get taxed if you leave an estate worth more than £375,000. Under the current inheritance tax rules you can leave up to this amount tax free.

This sounds like a lot of money, but if you own your own house, particularly in the south of the country, this can easily be more than £375,000. Fortunate for whoever inherits it...

A lot depends on circumstances. If this is what you need to keep yourself and your disabled son then surely if your other son is able bodied and working he shouldn't be asking.

I had a windfall from an insurance policy last year and gave my DC some of it but that was my choice and I can afford to do that.

OPs have said that your father left you the money but parents often assume that their grandchildren will benefit even if they don't specifically mention them in their wills. I think my mum assumes that anything I inherit when she dies will be shared with my children.

If i have ever had a good inheritance i would definitely give some to my children
I got some ompensation a few years ago, not a lot, but a few thousand and i gave each of my children some each, they didnt expect it, and were grateful, but i couldnt keep it all to myself, when they could use a bit extra
I think it depends on the amount you have inherited. but if it was me,yes i would give him something, and say if anything left when you die will leave him something then