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Moving abroad

(11 Posts)
Lizzy53 Thu 05-Apr-18 09:45:32

My son, dil, and my granddaughter are moving abroad at the end of May, it has come round so quickly and the realisation of it all hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday.
I have encouraged them to go with their dream of moving/working abroad, I would never dream of doing otherwise, they have the rest of their lives to enjoy and make a go of it.
But deep inside I am broken hearted, I adore my beautiful gdd she is only two and the light of my life. Of course I love my son too.
I need a coping strategy, and need to keep going till the awful day we wave goodbye at the airport, any suggestions welcome!

Nonnie Thu 05-Apr-18 09:49:32

I hope they are not going to be too far away but skype is wonderful and a 2 year old will enjoy talking to Grandma on the computer. The only way they get my GS off it is by telling him he can press the red button. He was 18 months old when he learned to press the button on the back of the screen and shout "Grandma". We have songs we sing on Skype which no other family member does, it makes it special.

Gagagran Thu 05-Apr-18 10:30:12

My DS, DDiL and beloved DGD aged 2 plus with new DGD aged 3 months moved to Germany with his job leaving me heartsore. We had spent so much time with DGD1 and absolutely adored her. Hardly had time to get to know DGD2 but knew we would miss out on her babyhood to some extent.

That was in 2005 and they were there for 3 years. We went several times and they came back on visits too. The relationship with DGD1 never diminished but it took some time to really bond with DGD2 as we just didn't see her as much. Now they are our teenagers and we love them just as much!

You do get used to it and use skype and facetime and plan as many visits as feasible but there is a heart-shaped gap in your life, there's no denying it.

Good luck - I hope you can manage the situation without too much sadness.

JackyB Thu 05-Apr-18 11:22:44

Join the club. There are plenty of us on Gransnet who only see their DGC twice a year or so. I can't say anything because I did the same to my parents.

Nowadays we can Skype and by the time they were 2 1/2 they knew who we were anyway and there was no "getting used to each other" period when we did actually see them again after a few months apart.

Neither of the DGC actually interact with us directly when Skyping but we can see them and they see us and say hello, but this is enough to keep contact.

glammanana Thu 05-Apr-18 11:28:38

Lizzy53 First thing is to get skype sorted and have a few goes with it before they go and DGD will be expecting you to pop up on the screen when they get where they are going.
We where away for nearly 10yrs when ours where younger and to make it easier when we where away I used to book all our trips back well in advance so we always had something to look forward to during the year.
Good for you for encourging them to make a better life for themselves it shows what a wonderful mum you are even though the first few months will be hard for you.

silverlining48 Thu 05-Apr-18 11:36:26

Its hard, lots here know that from experience. We talk about Skype and whatever but it’s not the same, until they are old enough it’s just a lot of screaming and running around/off.
I dislike Skype or FaceTime, whatever it’s called.
, I always look scary and about 100. Find it quite depressing because clearly I am much younger, quite smiley and not scary. If I had grandchildren some distance, A chat with me woukd give them, and me, nightmares.

Lizzy53 Thu 05-Apr-18 13:03:34

Thank you for your replies, good idea to get Skype up and running with few trials before the big day, Glammanana !

ajanela Sat 07-Apr-18 13:12:02

I FaceTime my GS and it is like we are in the same room. He shows me his magic tricks. Takes me from room to room and I even helped him do some cooking and played "guess who " with him. I also talk to the dog who is very confused. It is better when you have visited them as you understand the layout of the house better.

But I understand your sadness and start saving for a visit.

MawBroon Sat 07-Apr-18 13:20:11

It makes me wonder how on earth my late parents held it together when my big sister, her husband and their three children , 5.4. and 3 left Scotland for Canada over 50 years ago. No Skype, strictly rationed long distance phone calls on special occasions, weekly airmail letters, but little if any chance of visits in either direction for years to come. sad
Doesn’t make anybody’s sadness any less, but international travel is relatively less expensive than it was and Skype, email etc are a small help.

nanasam Sat 07-Apr-18 13:25:21

My DS lives in Australia and had DGD last October. We were fortunate to be able to visit for 6 weeks when she was a month old and were able to bond with her. They regularly put posts on our FaceBook family group and we FaceTime every couple of weeks. DGD I think recognises us (she's 6 months old now) and we can make her smile and giggle, which is a great comfort to us. However, I can't let myself bond completely because I know I will only see her every couple of years. That's what hurts the most.

Be grateful that they are not moving to the other side of the world. I'd have preferred DS to live pretty much anywhere else but it doesn't get any further away than Oz sad

Lizzy53 Mon 09-Apr-18 16:08:41

Since putting up this post I have discovered a link in .gransnet to ‘Top 10 tips for long distance Grandparenting’ and also thanks to this discover the App ‘Moment
Garden’ both have cheered me up somewhat, and I have organised for DS and DIL and Grandpa to be part of this, it is great idea. They are moving far away and flights are pretty expensive, but I’ve started saving too. I’ve only got a few short weeks left to see DGD but will cram in as much as possible. Must keep smiling, it’s their life after all, but oh it’s hard!