relationships

I think there needs to be someone in the family who holds it together. It is my Mil on OH's side and my brother on mine. It isn't an easy job but worthwhile if you want to keep the next generation in touch with each other.
My Mil, who is ages with the queen, still arranges get togethers for her extended family.
My brother remembers birthdays and phones regularly.
I guess when they go someone will have to take over.

I do understand your disappointment. I am not close to my brother my only sibling. I was estranged from my mother when he was still living at home and over the years that we grew up and were both adults ( he is 7 years younger than me) he has got in touch and then just vanished again for no reason. I have now given up trying to keep a relationship going and realise it's not possible when the other person won't really try.

It's sad when this happens. My sister and I weren't close. I was 4 years older, a bit overweight, wore glasses and was quite academic. She was pretty, slim and outgoing (although it didn't really bother me too much, as we were so different). Our relationship in later years was always a bit cool, but I think Bluegal's hit the nail on the head in her last paragraph. Just enjoy what you've got.

Silvercollie. Sounds like a lot gone on that we are not privy to? It is such a shame when siblings fall out BUT its not always true blood is thicker than water. You sound like you have a good fulfilling life.

As hurtful and hard it is you will just have to accept the situation as it is.

Carry on enjoying your life as you are. You could write your sister a letter telling her how you feel but be prepared for no response.

Well, found this thread at last. Unfortunately I started it again yesterday as Had had no responses.
Yes, kind people, you are all correct. But I promise you I have not dwelt on it of late. Spent too much time analysing every aspect of my non relationship with DS and drove family nuts. Not allowed to mention her name!!
And I am a very busy person, despite finding it difficult to join groups etc. I live in the countryside on my own and I guess it has been a difficult winter. Despite now being 'disabled' (I don't accept it) I still take my two dogs out twice a day, am secretary to a county Sheepdog Club, help lamb sheep, write about shepherds and sheepdogs, try to exercise but still that little worm keeps niggling.
More self control required, methinks.
But again - my thanks.

? Luckygirl

Move on, walk away from all this. Realistically like most of us on here, you are in the final phase of your life and you do not want to waste a moment of it troubling yourself with old arguments and things you cannot change.

Go on a cruise!

silvercollie, the past is the past, leave it there and look forward.

Yours is/was a dysfunctional family. Your parents (you do not mention your mother) by having favourites and punishing others harshly did nothing to foster close relationships, nor to raise loving close children. One of your sisters clearly moved out at 14, a very young age, and presumably for a very good reason. I think the source of the indifference of your sisters to each other and to you lies in your childhood. I see no reason to look any further.

But what has happened has happened. Yours is not an uncommon experience. A lot of people have difficult or non-existent relationships with their siblings, but most may regret it but put it behind them and get on with life.

I think the real question is why you are spending so much time on such a fruitless endeavour. Are you lonely and feeling isolated. It must be difficult being a long way from your own children. Did your difficult childhood, make your maternal relationships difficult.

I think what you need to do is think briefly about the reasons the past pre-occupies you so much and address them. Enjoy the company and support of your maternal relations. You can never forget your sisters, but you do not need to think about them or the past constantly.

'I think that you love the idea of the sister that you had when you were growing up'

I think the above hits the nail on the head and you are grieving for what you feel you have lost. ?

I think that you love the idea of the sister that you had when you were growing up.

Not the adult she has become.

Please try and find some interests, clubs, anything to get you out of the house and sharing/talking to other people who could become friends to you, or even a pet.

Probably too much time has passed to sort out whatever the problem was. My cousin looked after her disabled brother after her parents died and she inherited their property, one of her brothers never spoke to her again, he died last week, still bitter that he didn’t get a share of the estate.

Please try to stop dwelling on something that you can’t change.