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Best way to help a new Mum & Dad

(39 Posts)
Millbrook Thu 26-Apr-18 14:28:22

Daughter and son in law are home from hospital with their beautiful new son (my grandson).

I’m being careful to strike a balance between being there to help in the first few weeks when everything is wonderful but strange, but also giving them space to be a family together.

They have lots of family and friends so baby stuff (new and borrowed) is not an issue.

What I’m wondering is what are the ‘small’ , unexpected, things that mothers (& fathers) really appreciated you doing or buying, immediately after the birth of their first baby?

Farmor15 Thu 26-Apr-18 14:42:12

I think food is always appreciated. If they have a freezer, cook some tasty casseroles, lasagne etc, and pack into portions for 2 or 3 people (new mums are always hungry). Home baked cakes for all the visitors will also be welcome, I’m sure.

Farmor15 Thu 26-Apr-18 14:52:18

Home-made quiche is another food idea- handy to eat warm or cold, (in the middle of the night!).

glammanana Thu 26-Apr-18 15:38:58

Certainly the food as stated is so important.
Make sure they all get plenty of rest and discourage them from allowing lots of visitors,make sure they rest when babu is resting and you can make sure all the washing is done and sorted for mum,keep discreetly in the background when ever you can and don't give advice smileunless asked for it.
Congratulations on your new little man.

gillybob Thu 26-Apr-18 15:39:43

Congratulations on your new grandson Millbrook .

sparkly1000 Thu 26-Apr-18 16:00:24

Some nice toiletries, she will be bathing frequently, pretty underwear if you know her size, there are lots of lovely nursing bras if she is breastfeeding.
Definitely home cooked dinners, casseroles and shepherds pie, nourishing comforting food and easily frozen.
Congratulations on your new arrival.

nanaK54 Thu 26-Apr-18 16:04:48

Many congrats on the new arrival flowers

I did lots of ironing for my daughters-in law, and was very happy to do so smile

gillybob Thu 26-Apr-18 16:35:08

Yeah I did a lot of ironing for DDiL too nanaK54 I still bloomin' well do and the children are 12,10 and 8 !! grin

EdithCrawley Thu 26-Apr-18 17:01:19

Fancy hand cream. My hands cracked from all the washing them after nappies/sick/breastmilk leakages with my first!

cornishclio Thu 26-Apr-18 20:13:02

My DD had her 2nd DD last Friday so we also have a new granddaughter in the family. We have been over this week and done shopping, cooked meals, entertained the toddler so mum and dad can concentrate on baby and held the baby so mum and dad can bath the toddler. I have made a few shopping visits into town as DGD2 was few weeks early so they needed smaller size clothes. What I tend to do is text or WhatsApp in the morning to see how they have coped overnight and offer help and left it to them to ask so they don't get too overwhelmed as my son in laws parents also live nearby.

So I would say offer to make cups of tea and or a meal. Bring in cakes as a special treat. My husband cleaned up their kitchen this evening which they were happy about. Just generally helping out wherever you see things need doing like emptying bins etc. etc.

You don't say if it is their first but if it isn't we found our DD and her husband quite like us to hold the baby so they can spend time with their toddler to avoid her getting too jealous. We are all spending a lot of time entertaining her as the baby could not care less and just sleeps a lot.

I would text too to ask if they need shopping bringing in.

Sometimes just offering to hold the baby if the baby is not sleeping well so they can get their heads down for a nap is sometimes welcome although my DD and her husband are sleeping in shifts at the moment. Depends on how easy their new baby is.

Congratulations on your new little grandson.

Millbrook Thu 26-Apr-18 21:35:27

Thank you all SO much for those great tips and ideas - will definitely give them a try!

Congratulations to cornishclio on your new granddaughter. This is the first child for my daughter, so no toddler duties involved this time! I can imagine it must be a big part of grandparents' role to entertain them though...

So: food, handcream, ironing, and being there, quietly, when they need it. I can manage that I think, especially with the reward of a new bundle of joy to cuddle, and watching a new little family start their journey...

PS My own tip ( learnt over the last 2 days) is....always wear waterproof mascara. New babies = lots of happy tears!

Luckygirl Thu 26-Apr-18 22:01:33

Lovely new little ones - congrats to all!

The one thing that most helped one of my DDs was me arriving with a rubber ring for her to sit on!! Very sore tail-end poor lass.

Granny23 Thu 26-Apr-18 23:03:25

Both DDs really appreciated an offer to babysit and a prepaid hairdresser's appointment. All 3 births were by cesarean and I think the anaesthetic played havoc with their hair.

SueDonim Thu 26-Apr-18 23:40:13

We don't live near enough to any of our grandchildren to be on hand on a daily basis. However, when my daughter had her first baby at the end of last year, the most helpful thing we gave the new parents was a couple of weeks of meals from Hello Fresh.

They're freshly prepared ingredients ready to whip up a decent meal. They come with a recipe card and there's absolutely no waste. Each and every meal they had was delicious, they said. I've been wondering if I can justify buying them for dh and me!

Enjoy your new grandchild. smile

MawBroon Fri 27-Apr-18 00:21:01

Friends bought DD and SIL £100 voucher for meals for 2 from Cook which although “prepared meals” really taste homemade and are healthy portions of “real” ingredients. I recommend them and DD who is very fussy and normally makes everything from scratch with organic ingredients said it was one of the best presents she had!

Shazmo24 Fri 27-Apr-18 09:46:07

Meals! Finding time to cook a decent meal when you have a new baby is hard. So what I do is make up several meals and freeze them - along with the sides. It's the best thing ever and they are so happy

annifrance Fri 27-Apr-18 10:03:02

Cooking,cleaning and laundry.

Marianne1953 Fri 27-Apr-18 10:18:42

I did the ironing. Later on, I did some nights as well, my daughter was most grateful for that as she likes her sleep

Barmeyoldbat Fri 27-Apr-18 10:44:51

I bought some Bio Oil for the new mum to help with the stretch marks. She loved it as it was something she wouldn’t buy herself because of the cost.

seemercloud Fri 27-Apr-18 11:42:33

I organised a supply of 'healthy' snack boxes to be delivered fortnightly. Useful when pushed for time and for 'Dad' to put in his lunch box. Well liked, I think.

Patticake123 Fri 27-Apr-18 12:27:46

Ready prepared food and the offer to babysit downstairs whilst Mum goes upstairs for a sleep!

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 12:51:50

I agree with anniefrance cooking a few nice homemade meals such as lasagne, shepards pie or casterole and offering to go around and clean up especially as they will no doubt have lots of visitors and she will be too tires to do too much herself and ironing, clanging beds would be such a help and I am sure much appreciate.

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 12:57:28

Congratulations on your new gc. I also made up a large box full of toiletries for baby and a supply of nappies to save them having to go out to buy them. I also included things like baby nail scissors, fever scanner for forehead, hair brush and gripe water. My dd is pregnant again and I have already started buying a few toiletries each week with the shopping. Last time my dd told me they lasted the whole of the first year. She cried a bit when I gave her about 8 large freezer meals as she was relieved and tired.

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 13:04:29

You could also order them a nice food shop online to be delivered to their door and including a few treats they might not buy themselves. I feel really bad because I will be on holiday when my dd gives birth to second gs in the summer and she only told us after we had booked travel fairs, but I will definitely be ordering them a large food shop with plenty of fresh fruit for the first 2 weeks until I get back. My sil is having 2 weeks off work as paternity leave but then I shall go for a week to stay with her and help out by cooking, cleaning and taking older gs out so she can have peace to sleep in day when baby does.

Sheilasue Fri 27-Apr-18 13:09:00

Food I think maybe cook a few things, my sil did this for her d some ironing and general tidying up plus ordered some food on line for her d and Sil.