Sadnanny59,
How very stressful for you. You are not alone, there are many of us here with similar stories, I'm sorry to say.
I've noticed you haven't had anyone posting a reply......I think you will get more advice and support from the relationship section on the thread for estranged parents of adult children and grandchildren.
Everyone there has some degree of understanding what you are going through and would be only too willing to offer you empathy, and support.
Please don't think because its been a day without an answer that people aren't keen to help....they are!
All I can offer is my experience of a similar feeling of being blamed and not knowing what for, and worrying trying to find out what the problem was until my head was spinning! Your not having a breakdown, your life has been turned on its head.
I hope you will find posting very helpful.
I still cry most days and still feel like I'm in a snow globe someone shook that hasn't settled yet, but reading other peoples stories does help.
Sincerely wishing you all the best