Fear of Aging

Well done mollyc!
Keep going

I'll swap with you I wish I was 71 I am 81 but still going strong.

Luckygirl, I too found my singing voice was very weak at times - noticeable at choir. I saw an ENT consultant who looked at my vocal chords via camera. It turned out that they were very dry. I also suffered from mucus and acid reflux. I was prescribed Gaviscon Advanced and referred to a speech therapist - and also advised to up my fluid intake.

I just don’t feel old at 70. I keep active and mix with all ages. The young keep me young. Today I have been on my one of my long bike rides and been chattered up by a fellow older cyclist. In fact he invited me to a coffee morning on Tuesday to meet some of his friends. My husband who was with me but a little bit further on now describes him as boyfriend no.2. I will say we are very happily married but I don’t seem to see many olderwomen cycling. Made me feel young!

No one can escape it embrace it and live your life as fully as you can

Enjoy your retirement and treat yourselves to month-long holidays in the sun or enjoying history at least once a year until you no longer can manage it.

...you’ll be glad you did.

Mancunianma I also live alone and have been ill this winter. As it happens, I've developed a nasty illness that means that every little bug lays me low for several weeks...
So I have an emergency plan, which is to always ensure that I've got enough food stored to last me for at least a couple of weeks, then, if I can't get out, I know that I can have something to eat; some tins of soup, tuna and beans, a couple of sliced loaves in the freezer, some eggs, a packet of porridge oats, cornflakes, some baking potatoes, cheese, butter and milk will allow you to keep yourself going, even if (like me last January) you live on soup, porridge and baked potatoes & cheese for a while...!
I also started to order an online delivery of groceries every six weeks or so, so that if the weather's icy or I'm not well enough to get out, I can do this with confidence, and keep myself stocked up.
The other thing that I've done is to register with my doctor online, so that I can order repeat prescriptions and then the chemist will deliver them, meaning that I don't worry about running out.
These are small things, but they mean that if I'm confined to the house, at least I know that I can eat and that my medication won't run out, which is a weight off my mind.
I've found that this 'forward planning' has given me peace of mind, and I don't fear being ill as much as I used to - I hope that you can put your own plan in place so that you will feel the same

The depredations of aging aren't much fun sometimes but as someone said, "Would you rather die young?" It's sad if you spend whatever time you have worrying about what's to come.

Learn to make the most of life,
Lose no happy day,
For time will never bring again
Chances swept away.

Leave no tender word unsaid,
Love while life shall last,
For the mill will never grind again
With water that is past.

Someone wrote that in my autograph book many years ago. Haven't seen the book in a long time but have remembered the verse.

I'm lucky to have two friends in their 90s who frequently put me to shame. Both try to get out every day and are not yet ready for the Granny flats awaiting them at their children's homes. Just being with one of them is rejeuvenating!
They are amazing women who regard the Queen with approval as she too just gets on with things without a fuss.
Me, at a mere 78 I've discovered I can enjoy myself writing and performing poems. An unrelated young man refers to me as HipHop Grandma!
I know, only too well, that physical and mental conditions can drag you down can drag you down into lonely misery. There is some wonderful advice on this thread, Gransnetters give each other so much support. Thanks for the morale boosts people!

Oh Tessa101. Don’t have sleepless nights over ageing!

I’m 75 (and a half!). Worked til I was 67. Became a first time grandma at 70 and survived a life-threatening illness at 72 - but that was nothing to do with my age, just that I received inadequate medical attention at the start.

I am fairly active, walk a lot and have just spent a couple of hours gardening. Next week we plan to travel around England staying at Premier Inns on the way.

Age is just a number. I remember years ago, a neighbour of my late mothers who was quite decrepit at 58. Nothing actually wrong with her but she complained all the time about getting old. One day my sister said to me, ‘You wouldn’t think Aggie was the same age as Joan Collins would you?’ I saw the funny side of it...

Oh I relate to your post, I’m 61 soon to be 62 I’m told I don’t look my age and I’m active still working part time and only minor niggles health wise. I don’t feel my age my head still thinks I’m in my 40s.However I can’t get it out of my head that I’m getting old and to be honest I’m scared. It’s when I say/ think gosh I’m in my 60s now that it sounds old. I have sleepless nights over it.

I'm five years younger than you, OP, and sometimes when I am down I wonder what the future will bring, but really there is no point in worrying about something that might never happen, or about the unavoidable.

DH and I have found it helpful to take a long look at our house and decide what labour-saving devices are worthwhile now, what tasks we feel are beyond us, or will become beyond us. For example, he spent the morning checking prices for an electric motor he can fit my bicycle with, as I find biking a strain on my knees, but don't want to entirely give it up.

Some things take a little longer these days, but I try to be thankful that I still can wash my own floors, weed my own flower-beds etc.

We have also talked honestly about the fact that neither of us think we would want to live here alone, and we might in ten -fifteen years time find this house too large and what we think now we will do then, always supposing we are both alive and reasonably fit then.

Exercise is good and necessary, but don't overdo it!

Hope you find when you are fully over that dratted flu that these sad thoughts recede again.

The same advice for everyone here. Get up every morning get properly dressed and go out. If 'properly dressed means make up or nice shoes then do that. Find an appointment. See a friends, go to a class, volunteer for something, church, bridge, politics, whatever. Just remember, whatever you do will change, friends move, the class finishes, you get fed up with the Party. Just find something else to do. And again, something else. Prepare to make new friends, read different papers, try dancing. Something every day. If you do that aging will not be such an issue and your lonelyness will recede. Good luck

Look at some of the old celebs and how well they're doing. Joan Collins, Nicholas Parsons, Sheree Hewson, Anita Harris (slim and almost unchanged at 74, singing on TV last week). I know they've probably had work done, but still...there's hope for all of us

Mancunianma, I find meditating very helpful for any time I feel 'down'. The saying really is true that happiness comes from within. I got lazy and out of practice but now make meditation part of my every day routine. A really good place to start is Headspace.com as it gives short 3 minute practice sessions.

Lovebooks, nice to see another supporter of Dying with Dignity!! (my life, my choice!!

My Grandmother always used to say' if you are lucky you'll grow old'.
I wondered what she meant. Now that I am 71 years old I know! and am looking forward to a few more. All good wishes for the future, old age? it's just a state of mind.

Only since having a hip replacement have I begun to see myself as getting old.
I live on my own from when DH passed away seven years ago and with family in a different time zone frequently feel isolated and vulnerable. I have to get a grip and say there are others worse of than myself and what I can't stop is the clock so get on with it. Easy to say doing is another thing.

You knew when you were 35 that you would get older or die. Now that you're 70 you have achieved something many were unable to. Stop worrying about nothing.

I work on the basis that today I'm the youngest I'll ever be!

Take care honey. It is difficult recovering from an illness at any time of life especially if you are alone. You will be alright, just take baby steps to getting better. A little bit each day of exercise, stretching and if you can have a laugh now and again. Maybe something on TV that you like, or a book to lift your spirits. I fell over and broke two ribs about seven weeks ago, what a journey it has been. I had to relearn how to breath deeply eventually and even how to get my confidence back walking. It took a few weeks but with practice I am now striding along the footpath each day feeling heaps better. I even go to the gym and do gentle walking on the treadmill and some light weight lifting. You don't have to go to the gym, just move your body as best you can, baby steps. Good luck, you will be ok. cheers.

Maybe it's the physical decline you're scared of, Mamcunianma?
With any luck that will only gradually happen, so you hardly notice (until you take stock in 10 year's time.)
Adele wrote:
" and look forward to. Perhaps you could challenge yourself, I try hard to do something outside my comfort zone (however small) on a regular basis. "
I try to do that - especially something to look forward to, because I tend to look back rather than forward.

Eat sensibly
Keep fit
Stay interested in everything

I know not everyone is in exactly the same situation as regards health and work and caring responsibilities, but there are benefits for many of us to getting older.
No one expects you to be up at six and racing off to work, juggling the housework, shopping and childcare any more (apologies to those grans racing off to do childminding or still in full time work).

On a sunny day we can choose to sit in the sun or go for a walk, instead of being in an office/factory all day.
We can read a book or watch TV or go on Gransnet without feeling guilty.

On a sunny day like today, I will do a bit of Tai Chi in the garden, hang the washing out, walk round the garden, watch the birds nesting, do some French lessons online, go to the Garden Centre and hopefully buy a new rose and text my daughters.

Cataracts mean I can’t read as much as I used to, and I’m not so keen on long walks (a gentle stroll is more my style now). Childminding once or twice a week is a joy. Meeting friends for coffee/lunch is a pleasure that I didn’t have time for when I was younger. You also have more time for looking after yourself, gentle exercise, preparing healthy meals etc. I know major health problems for me or my husband might be just around the corner, but still plenty to enjoy at the moment. Think positive.

Mancunianma, as soon as you’ve recovered physically, things will seem better, especially on a beautiful Spring day. I agree with all Elegran has said. I would also add that it’s not too late to find some new passion which you can really enjoy and look forward to. Perhaps you could challenge yourself, I try hard to do something outside my comfort zone (however small) on a regular basis.

We are so lucky to be alive, so many of our contemporaries aren’t. I’m 70 this year and am hoping that I will continue to be fit, but you never know, so make the best of each & every day. Good luck on the road to recovery.

I agree with “lovebooks”.....it is so different when you are healthy.....I have had problems since I was 47.....and three years ago I started with chronic burning pain , which is central pain, and there is NO treatment or chance of a cure....so yes I could be much worse off but living in continuous chronic pain that means every step I take agony isn’t much fun.