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Anyone having major anger outbursts with 75 year old DH?

(132 Posts)
LiltingLyrics Fri 25-May-18 20:33:51

Some people are just unhappy in themselves and have to have something to grumble about and someone to grumble at and criticise. I assume he’s retired. Does he have a lot of time on his hands? The “rejection thing”? Is that silent treatment? Mark of a manipulative bully. Do you have your own interests that you can pursue and leave him to his own devices?

Kate13 Fri 25-May-18 20:28:53

Thanks! You’re helping smile

Kate13 Fri 25-May-18 20:25:51

No it’s just with me. He’s sweetness and light to everyone else. I’ve been looking for symptoms but he really can control this if he chooses to. He won’t go to the gp because “there’s nothing wrong with” him. The children (now in their 40s) say he's always been bolshy, it just seems to be getting worse. Sounds pathetic doesn’t it? I do fight back (verbally) but he always has a mean, hurtful answer and can do the rejection thing for days and it really stresses me out.
Put up or shut up, I guess.....

Nanabilly Fri 25-May-18 19:26:57

Is he like it with just you or anyone he sees.?
If it's just you then I'd say he's just being a t#&t and you should tell I'm so but if it's anyone and everyone then I'd start taking note of other things that might not be quite right. Forgetfulness, repeating things over and over, uncaring about his personal hygiene, not being able to follow a tv show or a conversation (this could be where babbling comes in).
If other things are present then it's time for him to see his gp but if no other signs of anything then it's time for him to face some truths. Don't just put up with it.

SueDonim Fri 25-May-18 19:11:39

If this is a new behaviour, then it could be an indication of something amiss with your Dh.

If it's a longstanding problem then you're a saint to have stayed with him!

Ilovecheese Fri 25-May-18 18:55:28

It's not you, It's him. He is probably unhappy about growing older and can take it out on you. Whether this continues is up to you in a way. Do you put up with it or do you tell him firmly to stop. Whatever, it is NOT YOU!

Kate13 Fri 25-May-18 18:49:41

Hi not been on gransnet for a while - can anyone shed light on this? At home with DH -or on holiday, or generally being in his presence - I seem to be to blame for everything. What I say, what I do,. I “babble rubbish” “all the time... whereas when I’m out and about, I think I’m pretty normal ( no one shouts at me for “babbling” or being “in the way”. ) I’ve been blaming myself, but is it all my fault? Anyone else out there who recognises what I’m talking about , or is it really me?