Embarrassing problem

I've got these dificulties & a prolapse too, but eventually got all the help with it through NHS after GP referred me to local hospital where there is a very sympathetic nurse practitioner who specialises in these problems. I've had two sorts of pessaries (second type works, fingers crossed) & physio support. I only wish I'd sought help much earlier!! Just forget embarrassment & go for all the medical help you can get as soon as possible!

SunnySusie, if your friend lived in a house then I wouldn't mention it but as she lives in an apartment, I would mention it in advance about whether to flush. Hopefully all is ok but in my small block of flats the people above and below also hear the flush - they will know if their apartment has this issue so that's why I personally would check first.

You can buy something called a SheWee on line. This is a portable urinal type thing for women. My daughter bought one for taking to festivals as queuing for the loos took forever. Alternatively if it is just the sound of flushing the loo after a wee, ask if they don,t mind you not flushing as you don,t want to wake them up.

I often sleepover at my daughters, usually after babysitting. I sleep on a mattress on the floor in the girls room, (3 bedrooms, 2 adults, 2 boys, 2 girls in a small victoriana terrace), and I've lost count of the number of times im stepped on or woken as one of them gets up in the night.
My 11 yr GS can't sleep beyond 4am and wI'll go downstairs, use the bathroom, watch TV, come back upstairs and repeat. Most of the time I don't hear him or his father getting up at 5.30 for work.
He is coming to me for 3 days from tonight until Saturday, (respite care for his parents and siblings, he is ASD/ADHD).
I'm sure your friends will understand completely. Enjoy your break.

Tell your friend before you go so she does actually get the opportunity to say "no don't come then" if she needs to. Then ask whether they'd prefer you not to flush. Preferences vary.

Thank you for your comments. At one level I know I am over-worrying about this issue, but I have had family members moaning about me waking them up and I dont sleep well away from home, making it worse. Also I dont know the friend well enough to feel I can discuss it in advance and when she stayed with me last summer she didnt get up at all. I like the idea of the porta-pottie and eating raisins, of all things. I will try both these things. Its also reassuring that so many of you think its a common problem, my OH (age 66) has never got up to go to the loo in the night in his life.

Sunniesusie, it might be worth seeing your GP for help with the prolapse. I had two ops on mine which only last about four years and not willing to have more and the consultant suggested a pessary ring. It's a small rubber ring (like a very small dog ring) and goes in the vagina and sits on the pelvic bone. They are easy to take out and put in and are changed every year. I've gone from getting up in the night up to five times to once or not at all and not having to rush to the loo after every car journey. I agree with all the other posts though but I'd just ask if they'd like you to flush when you get up in the night, matter of fact. Go to your friends and have fun!

It sounds as though this issue is interfering more than it should in your life. Have you tried Kiegel exercises in addition to Pilates? Google it and loads of info will come up. A physio would be able to help give you appropriate exercises. With a prolapse - even a mild one, I’d be surprised if you didn’t also leak a bit when you cough and sneeze and you can be referred to inconitnence specialists for help on the NHS also. You say that surgery is not an option but does your GP know how much this is bothering you. Try asking your GP for a referral. But if they won’t refer you it might be worth forking out privately for an hours session with a physio that specialises in exercises for this issue. Xx

I was in this position when I stayed with friends last year I worried about it beforehand and even thought about cancelling. However I've known my friend since teenage years and she actually said her and hubby were up and down during night and apologised in advance as my room was next to bathroom.This made me feel a lot better and I enjoyed my stay make a bit of a joke about it and I'm sure it will be fine and enjoy your stay

So much sensible advice here. Please do not restrict your water intake as that will make you ill.
I get up several times in the night and do not flush so as not to disturb others , but then leave the toilet seat down so it does not smell, flush when you get up....or if you get up any time after 6am.
many men get up a lot more often than you.

Missfoodlove thanks for the tip I'm starting on the raisins tonight!

I have a similar problem. My doctor prescribed me Solefenacin (Vasicare) which has worked wonders. I can now make it all through the night and I’ve stopped having leakages during the day too. It made my mouth dry at first but it’s settled down now. Might be worth a try for you. X

I’ve recently come back from staying with friends for a long weekend. I have to get up to pee during the night as well. I just told them that I’d try not to disturb them. They didn’t hear me at all (or so they said) even though I flushed it each time. So just tell ‘em, I’m sure they won’t bat an eye.

Me too teetime. I would hate to be faced with a used loo.

I would just talk to your friend about it. It wouldnt worry me if a friend or visitor needs to use the loo in the night except if they didn't flush. I hate the idea of a used unflushed loo!

I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let it rule your life. I assume your friends are a similar age, so probably get up themselves. As it gets near bed time, be careful “what” you drink, no caffeine. Then in the morning apologies for disturbing them. Or you could just bite the bullet and be honest with them, phone and tell her, I would put money on you will be told not to be silly, and if they are true friends they will except it. Go and have fun , life’s too short

This works for me ; amp.peoplespharmacy.com/posts/reduce-nighttime-urination-nocturia-with-a-handful-of-raisins
Try it and report back?

SunnySusie we often have friends staying over for several days. Most are, like us, getting on a big.

We are all up and down all night. Have been known to cross on the landing in the middle of the night. I always explain that I am up a couple of times during the night and not to let it bother them, then they invariably confess they are the same. We agree not to flush unless necessary.

Don’t let it worry you.

There is a useful piece of advice in this rhyme- if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it@s brown, flush it down. This was our mantra when visiting children with new babies.

Is

We all pee!

Just tell them your problem and ask then whether they would rather you flush it down during the night or leave it till morning (as I do at home).

If you are worried that the sound of flushing the toilet will disturb them then take a large plastic jug with you and use it as a potty then first thing empty and wash it out and say it's for rinsing your hair if anyone mentions seeing it.

glammanana reminds me of the potty under the bed in the old days.
My Gran used to call it an arkle (article?)

SunnySusie If you are too embarressed to be going to the loo a couple of times a night have you thought of buying a portable urinal which can be packed in your luggage and used during the night,then emptied and disinfected in the morning they are discreet and can be bought of ebay for a few £s.
My sister takes one to her DDs when she stays there and it solves the problem.

If it's yellow let it mellow
If it's brown flush it down

That's what we do to avoid the noise of the flush.
I use Toilet Bloo as it preserves the look of the toilet bowl...when it's mellow.