Thank you for all ideas. It is a poisoned chalice. On my travels around pensioners in their own homes many of them had a huge soft toy, bought by loving family no doubt. I've told my family never to buy one for me. During my 2 bathroom visits last night I caught sight of it and it quite unnerved me for a split second. I think I'm going to try the Teddy Bears picnic. Thank you Elegran. Thank you everyone.
To think that London, or anywhere else for that matter, does not belong to any one demographic