Excluded from holiday planing

Perhaps he meant to give you a lovely surprise.

Nannarose,thank you for a clear explanation . Are you a teacher? If not,then you should be!

Well I think it all depends what the holiday is. If its something he will enjoy and she won't I understand the problem. Personally I prefer to consult -we usually book holidays together after much consultation. After reading this thread I've realised Im lucky! On the other hand a surprise holiday sounds good -as long as it is something she'll enjoy.

OP count yourself lucky.
The last thing MrA booked for us was a 5-day, 130-mile cycle journey from Maryport to our home in Northumberland.
He was so pleased with himself that as soon as we got home he was on the computer plotting the next one

Most of us understand 'trophy wife' to mean 'so beautiful and young she's only with him for his money'. So after 34 years most of us would be delighted to look like a possible 'trophy' even if we disliked the concept!
I wonder if OP meant 'token', meaning that her husband would do as he liked (possibly with a crowd of other men) and she would be expected to be sociable and pleasant when he / they returned to base.
Of course, it's about the marriage, not the holiday, and I don't know if she found anything helpful here.
am fascinated by others' holiday arrangements though!

I don't understand 'trophy person' in this context.

Oh muffin, bless you, I don't know whether to laugh or cry! You poor thing!

After 45 years of marriage and me planning and booking all our holidays, I would now be extremely worried if DH did it. We'd probably end up at a speedway track or second hand engineering tools sale ??

I have withdrawn all cooperation in the matter of holidays since our eldest was born.

DH’s holiday modus operandi has always been - without any consultation - to select dates suitable to himself, a location of his choice, and then draw up an 8am to 10pm itinerary of his chosen activities for each day (no meal breaks as they “waste time”), and present the entire lot to me as a paid up fait accompli in the belief I would never outright refuse to go.

This has worked out quite spectacularly poorly for me over the years.

The last holiday we took on this basis climaxed in me lying vomiting in a Berlin hospital with a ruptured ovarian cyst whilst he argued with the (angelic) doctor looking after me that I needed to be discharged as he had already paid for our trip to a concentration camp.

Yes. A holiday to a concentration camp.

Herr Doktor, I will be forever grateful to you for putting a stop to this. Also for the pain relief. And the nice rest that accompanied it.

Now I hide behind the toddlers and we go extremely child friendly places with a limited amount of pre booked activities.

Like many others, I too would love my husband to have more input on booking holidays. If I didn't do it all we would never go anywhere (which would suit him very well). Mind you, I would like a bit of a say too.

Gosh ! you are so lucku ....would give my right arm for someone to book a holiday for me .........just relax and enjoy it ....lots of people would love to have this !

Unless Superqueens comes back and tells us a bit more about this trophy business I m afraid we are just hanging ?

Actually, it'd be me and you and her, Lilylaundry, side by side, dead.

I'm with the lady who said if her husband booked a holiday she would drop down dead.

That would be me and her, side by side, dead.

I would LOVE my husband to plan a holiday for me. If left to him we’d spend a lot of time talking about it and then stay at home. Have a wonderful holiday.

We decide together where we want to go. If he or me is mad keen and the other other doesn't want to go then we have have often had holidays in different countries. He would go to Iceland, walking, and I would go to Turkey. I don't think I would like a holiday booked without some input.

I had a lovely surprise last year while I was staying with my daughter. I had a text message from DH asking if I fancied a cruise for my birthday. I was gobsmacked, and in the time it took to reply, he sent another text saying - "too late - it's booked."

I usually do all the booking and arrangements, and it was lovely to be surprised like that. It was a wonderful holiday!

I'm still a little puzzled by the OP, as the "trophy wife" hasn't been explained. Perhaps we'd have a better idea of the problem if there was more explanation?

I don't understand the trophy wife part at all. He has booked a holiday for your anniversary without consulting you so unless it is something awful what's the problem? You never know it might be the best holiday ever.
My DH booked a holiday in Malta one November for us, DS and DM who was almost 90. It was great except we flew out of Gatwick and left the car there but the flight home was to Stansted arriving at 11pm on a icy foggy night. Which we difmt kniw until we got tp the airport to fly home. DB was not best pleased to drive to the airport to pick us up in that weather. So since then it has been down to me to book holidays.

Even once

Over 50 years and he has never ever, even nice, booked anything. I even do the packing, airport parking if needed, used to cancel the milk, the whole lot. all he does is turn up!
My daughter said at least I get to choose where we go but oh wouldn’t it be nice to have a surprise, or at least a bit of interest on his part, even if he only pretends. Thing us he always enjoys it. Grrr I am glad it’s not just me.

We got together because when he was just my boyfriend he invited me to join him on holiday to foreign lands. I was a bit apprehensive about getting the jabs tbh. The following year he organised a trip travelling around Indochina. They were the best holidays. Later we went to other far flung places and I was involved in the planning but the very first holiday was magical. We were even upgraded to a huge suite in a luxury 5 star resort hotel at our first stopover in Borneo.
I knew then he was a keeper!

My husband does nothing. He moans about holidays, but has never helped when I've booked them. We have had to present documents as ID as we are moving - we had a problem finding anything with his name & address as he pays no bills! He's only just started sorting & packing - I've done it all. Happily, my daughter and her family live next door, are also selling up and have helped me so much.

Anyone want a secondhand husband??

I would be pleased, by now you obviously both have certain ideas of how you like to holiday. I personally, would not go camping as I like to be looked after, if he had booked that I would not go, because he should have known it, otherwise I would be excited. I am sure you are not a Trophy wife, oh to be a trophy of anything ,he needn't have done anything. Just enjoy it.

We always discuss where to go on holiday but after 50 years I’d love it if my husband booked a surprise. He did it once many years ago and it was magical

Wombat ??