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Excluded from holiday planing

(87 Posts)
Superqueen Tue 24-Jul-18 20:09:44

It is our 34th wedding anniversary this year my husband seems to have left me out of any planning on a holiday he has just booked it himself for us . Am I being silly to feel just a tyrophy person to tag along?

Iam64 Tue 24-Jul-18 20:10:56

Oh dear - I'd be so cheesed off I may just decide to book a holiday I really want.
Does he usually do this kind of thing? Was he trying to give you a wonderful surprise? Men!

tanith Tue 24-Jul-18 20:27:55

He wouldn’t of gotten as far as booking it without my input if he were my OH. Unless he actually did it without telling you?

Luckygirl Tue 24-Jul-18 20:31:29

At least he has done something - my OH has never ever ever had anything whatsoever to do with the job of booking holidays!

Has your OH told you where you are going? Doyou likeit? If so, I should just go with the flow and be thankfulhe has some initiative! But then say you would like to be involved in the choice next time.

Nanabilly Tue 24-Jul-18 20:48:56

Maybe it's a special holiday and he wants to surprise you. Give him a break! Poor chap if he left it to you he would be in trouble and if he does it all he's in trouble.

Eglantine21 Tue 24-Jul-18 21:13:53

It depends where it is. Whisked away to the Caribbean- great. Bird watching group in the British Isles. A different kettle of fish.

If it’s any consolation the lover took me for a weekend watching his favourite sport for my birthday.

Jalima1108 Tue 24-Jul-18 21:15:46

Oh, how wonderful

DH has only ever booked one weekend away for us in 50+ years - how I long for him to research, plan and book a lovely holiday for us.

Just enjoy it

merlotgran Tue 24-Jul-18 21:27:09

If my DH announced he'd booked a holiday for us I'd drop down dead in amazement. shock

Trophy person?

Jalima1108 Tue 24-Jul-18 21:33:21

I'd have to pick myhself up off the floor too.

Mind you, DH might not pick the hotel I would like .....

glammanana Tue 24-Jul-18 21:37:53

My chap would suggest but leave the final decission to me as long as he was in walking distance of a good bar for wine & tapa's he is a happy chap.

Bluegal Tue 24-Jul-18 21:39:26

Do you not like surprises or do you just like to be in control? I love it when my husband surprises me with holidays he has booked without me knowing where or what is! It’s an adventure superqueen. I would just ask “what do I need to pack”. Go with the flow and IF it’s not what you would have chosen, you may find you really enjoy it. Do let us know how you get on 😘

rubytut Tue 24-Jul-18 22:40:21

Could it be that he knows you so well that he doesnt feel the need to consult you.

PECS Tue 24-Jul-18 23:35:53

Agree that if the holiday is not one you would have ever chosen and is more 'his' type of holiday that is not very nice but if it is somewhere you both like I'd go with the flow.
My DH has often booked surprise city break holidays for special birthdays/anniversaries and we have had good times & I have also done the same for him!

Maggiemaybe Tue 24-Jul-18 23:53:25

I wouldn't object if someone planned a holiday for me. Though I've been the family equivalent of Thomas,Cook for so long I might actually find that I don't like not being in complete control....

M0nica Wed 25-Jul-18 07:27:16

I would trust DH to do something like that. He knows the kind of holidays we enjoy. He quite often does research ideas for holidays that take his fancy, and usually mine as well and we have a very brief discussion before booking.

Is there more behind this than him just booking a holiday without saying anything? Is it a question of always controlling or trying to rescue some control, or being upset or angry about something?

BlueBelle Wed 25-Jul-18 07:31:28

Reading between the lines your last question ‘am I just a trophy wife’ indicates he has booked something to do with his hobby and not a holiday you will enjoy
You ve kind of left us guessing with half a story has he booked a golfing car racing or some other sport related or (his) hobby holiday ?
Please come back and fill us in or else it’s pointless to keep guess answering you

PamelaJ1 Wed 25-Jul-18 08:43:04

Ha, ha, just booked a short trip away. DH on the sofa ‘helping’ me to choose.
This translates into ‘ yes that looks good’ as he tries to watch that motorbike chap on the TV!
Still I get what I want with the added bonus that if I’ve booked a horrible hotel we both get the blame.
He booked a surprise weekend years ago and we ended up in a smoking room, back in the day. We probably knocked years off our lives!

dragonfly46 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:55:18

I would be thrilled if my husband booked a holiday. I sometimes feel like his glorified secretary - would much prefer to be a trophy wife!!

pinkym Wed 25-Jul-18 09:56:21

After 43 years being married, my DH booked the first holiday EVER for the two of us this year. Whilst I would have preferred to go somewhere different, I appreciate the thought and it was nice not having to spend hours trawling the internet trying to fit accommodation & flight availability together with him on the sidelines making helpful remarks like "can't you find an earlier flight?"

PamelaJ1 Wed 25-Jul-18 10:02:11

When I was browsing I was, after all the publicity, aware that the prices were going up when I had a second look at a flight or hotel.
Getting rid of the cookies seems to work.

FarNorth Wed 25-Jul-18 10:13:33

Has he booked something he thinks or hopes you will like?

Do you often feel sidelined by your DH's attitude to you?

Jalima1108 Wed 25-Jul-18 10:15:23

You may have spoilt the 'surprise' Superqueen - however, if it was me I would like at least a week's notice so that I would know what to pack.

And if it was going to be a leaky tent on a windswept hillside then he would be going on his own.

Jalima1108 Wed 25-Jul-18 10:16:15

ps hope your passport is not out of date shock

Kim19 Wed 25-Jul-18 10:20:21

I would have loved it. I know he would have had both our interests at heart. Did it happen? No. He always participated in the concept but never the finer details.

Juliet27 Wed 25-Jul-18 10:27:39

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only wife whose husband has never ever even suggested we should have a holiday, let alone book one. I've had to arrange every one we've had together in 50 years. I have had a few without him and sadly they've been the most enjoyable.