Excluded from holiday planing

My DH often books surprise holidays and weekends away. Go with the flow. He's trying to do something nice for you.

The message that shines through this thread is that She want to go away, He isn't bothered. Don't you trust your relationship enough to go with a girlfriend?

I’d be delighted if that had happened to me, I feel you should give him a break and revel in it.Tons of us would love to be in your shoes. Sit back let go and enjoy.

Ah, it must be my OH who's the trophy person. I've never known him actually bestir himself to arrange anything.

Oh, wait, he did once have a chat with the male half of a couple we were friends with, and arranged a get together for dinner one evening. When the time came, neither knew where we were all supposed to meet..... They hadn't discussed that, had they?

Gosh. I would love my husband to plan and book a holiday for us both. We do discuss where we want to go, but then I have to do all the research, booking, etc. So long as Its somewhere you are happy to go, let him have free rein. Many ladies complain their DHs don't even remember their anniversary. I know which I'd prefer.

I don't quite understand what the problem is? Do you usually plan holidays together, and is this why you are upset?

Or is this holiday meant to be a present to you from your DH for your wedding anniversary?

If it was meant as a present or a surprise, please accept it gracefully. Unless of course you really cannot afford the holiday he has planned.

But you say you feel like a trophy wife, if you go along with this, so presumably you both usually plan holidays.

He'll have to tell you where it is if you need a visa, innoculations, etc.!

Lucky you, most husbands just wouldn't bother for a 34th. Are you so beautiful that you consider yourself a "trophy"
that all men would like to win?

Have you asked him about the holiday and his reasons for not consulting you? Is it supposed to be an anniversary surprise?

I’ve been our ‘travel architect’ ( I swear I didn’t make up this expression! I’ve been hoping for a chance to use it ) for so long I’m not sure I could cope with anyone organising anything other than a weekend away for me.

Gosh, it would be nice to be a trophy wife. After 34 years!

Maybe he thought he was doing a good thing-a surprise? Have you moaned he never plans or does anything himself in past/ leaves everything to you? If its really not something youl like tackle him while theres still a 'cooling off' period& choose something youl both like.together.At least hes done something,not just forgotten.

Mine would be quite happy to 'stay in the garden'.

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only wife whose husband has never ever even suggested we should have a holiday, let alone book one. I've had to arrange every one we've had together in 50 years. I have had a few without him and sadly they've been the most enjoyable.

I would have loved it. I know he would have had both our interests at heart. Did it happen? No. He always participated in the concept but never the finer details.

ps hope your passport is not out of date

You may have spoilt the 'surprise' Superqueen - however, if it was me I would like at least a week's notice so that I would know what to pack.

And if it was going to be a leaky tent on a windswept hillside then he would be going on his own.

Has he booked something he thinks or hopes you will like?

Do you often feel sidelined by your DH's attitude to you?

When I was browsing I was, after all the publicity, aware that the prices were going up when I had a second look at a flight or hotel.
Getting rid of the cookies seems to work.

After 43 years being married, my DH booked the first holiday EVER for the two of us this year. Whilst I would have preferred to go somewhere different, I appreciate the thought and it was nice not having to spend hours trawling the internet trying to fit accommodation & flight availability together with him on the sidelines making helpful remarks like "can't you find an earlier flight?"

I would be thrilled if my husband booked a holiday. I sometimes feel like his glorified secretary - would much prefer to be a trophy wife!!

Ha, ha, just booked a short trip away. DH on the sofa ‘helping’ me to choose.
This translates into ‘ yes that looks good’ as he tries to watch that motorbike chap on the TV!
Still I get what I want with the added bonus that if I’ve booked a horrible hotel we both get the blame.
He booked a surprise weekend years ago and we ended up in a smoking room, back in the day. We probably knocked years off our lives!

Reading between the lines your last question ‘am I just a trophy wife’ indicates he has booked something to do with his hobby and not a holiday you will enjoy
You ve kind of left us guessing with half a story has he booked a golfing car racing or some other sport related or (his) hobby holiday ?
Please come back and fill us in or else it’s pointless to keep guess answering you

I would trust DH to do something like that. He knows the kind of holidays we enjoy. He quite often does research ideas for holidays that take his fancy, and usually mine as well and we have a very brief discussion before booking.

Is there more behind this than him just booking a holiday without saying anything? Is it a question of always controlling or trying to rescue some control, or being upset or angry about something?

I wouldn't object if someone planned a holiday for me. Though I've been the family equivalent of Thomas,Cook for so long I might actually find that I don't like not being in complete control....

Agree that if the holiday is not one you would have ever chosen and is more 'his' type of holiday that is not very nice but if it is somewhere you both like I'd go with the flow.
My DH has often booked surprise city break holidays for special birthdays/anniversaries and we have had good times & I have also done the same for him!