Excluded from holiday planing

Hello nonu! Where’ve you been? ?

That doesn"t arise in our house, as it is me who does the booking , after a bit of consultation.

Please give us more information Superqueen. When is your anniversary? Have you not asked where you’re going if it’s getting closer? Do let us know.

Superqueen I hope it's something really wonderful, do let us know when you find out!

There was one day when we seemed to do more walking than cycling ????

insist on having a say*
(autocorrect changes that word for me every time! )

I suppose if the land was fairly flat that would be OK janea!

It doesn't matter what the holiday involves, if the op is unhappy that she never gets a say.
If that is the case, superqueen, you really need to speak up. Insist on having a day in the holiday planning and/or don't go to whatever he's booked.
Do you feel your DH overlooks you and your wishes in other ways, or only over holidays?

I don’t understand this use of “trophy person” either.
OP sounds pretty fed up, but who are we to judge as we haven’t been told what this holiday involves.
A week in a B and B in Bognor? (Apologies to the south coast)
A cruise down the Rhine?
A luxury villa on the Med?

harrigran I used to love youth hostelling. Never made it up to Northumberland, but I was fascinated by the sound of Once Brewed .
We went all over the Lakes, the Peak District and the Yorkshire Dales.

janea we used to stay at the youth hostel at Once Brewed and walk along to the Twice Brewed for a restorative beverage after a day walking the wall. If we timed it right we could hitch a lift back to Newcastle with the university climbing club. Wonderful memories of weekends spent in beautiful countryside.

I think BlueBelle is right.
I have re-read the OP many times, and am still not even sure if the mention of the wedding anniversary has any relevance at all, beyond letting us know how long they have been married.
superqueen, please could you clarify: Is your complaint that your DH has been arranging your holidays like this for all those years, which I am quite sure many of us would agree is very unfair if you are not happy about that, or is it just a one-off situation this year related, in some way, to your anniversary?

superqueen you have added so little with that extra post that it’s a little drip drip of info From your original post I thought he was organising a one off surprise and you weren’t being very grateful now it seems more like a continuing ‘take over’ always his style and preference which infers he always does the planning, with you plodding along whether you want to or not which sounds as if he is the controlling influence in your life his way or the highway

Sounds like your marriage isn’t what you want it to be are you sure you want to celebrate this anniversary Have you always been under his thumb and accepted his control Have you ever stood up to him and said sorry I don’t fancy that holiday we ll go here this time does he control other aspects of your life ?
Much more to this than the original post gave the impression
Please give a bit more info Superwueen you sound quite resigned

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201807/medium-531110-7b4c5708-49f4-4c24-80aa-0dfe17695074.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201807/medium-832336-38c6edbc-9fd9-448f-884b-9a2a87cff261.jpeg

Actually Jalima it wasn’t the torture I had imagined. We rode through some beautiful countryside - the photos show the beach at Allonby on the Solway Coast, and the other one was taken near the Sill at Once Brewed.
3 of the 4 B&B’s exceeded expectations & we had some good meals in the evening too.

My husband and I always choose holidays together, it's part of the fun. Trophy person? What does that mean?

Crikey, janea, that sounds even worse than camping

Seem to be on the wrong foot. Thanks for all your replies great help in putting me on right tract. Still feel like a trophy tagging along though, always his style and preference .when I voice a preference I get "wrong time of year to go - to long- who shall we go with ? We will see what he has planned and go along with good faith. I will keep you informed.......

The term 'trophy wife' is usually used to describe a much younger model-like or stunning looking partner.
Is the OP either of these? If not, then it's the wrong terminology.

My OH booked me on a flight out to meet him in Sweden one year. He'd been on a business trip and decided that he would extend it into an extra week for us. The hotel was luxurious and he'd asked me to bring evening wear and some smart feminine daywear.
Imagine my disappointment annoyance when it transpired that his 5 colleagues were staying on too (without their partners) and the conversations were all work related.
To add insult to injury, the first dinner (at which I realised I was the only female) was organised and paid for by the company CEO (my OH) and mains were BEAR MEAT.
He knows very well that I'm a strict vegetarian but excused the pre-ordered meal on the grounds that there were 6 men who chose it.
I went home on the 2nd day without telling him and it was a good two weeks before I cooled down.
Luckily, we live in separate houses.

I am relatively new to this and once pulled up someone for expecting a response which I now completely apologise for. I now “get” the frustration when a poster doesn’t get back to add or explain. We all give advice and need a bit of follow up info to know if the post is genuine or not.

Thank you Granstender! No, not a teacher, just hanging around the computer on an afternoon too hot to do anything!
I do want to hear from Superqueen, but given the wide range of reactions, I think she may be keeping her head down.

Come on superqueen. The suspense is too much. WHERE are you going ?.

Oh Muffin, I was feeling sorry for myself and lining up with the 'drop dead' OHs until I read your post! ? DH booked a holiday home for us years ago after spending the evening in the pub next door to it. Do you remember the ancient cottage in France that Patsy and Edina from Ab Fab mistakenly thought was their holiday home? This was 10 times worse! I still shudder when I think that we actually had to sleep there until we could book somewhere else. I remember (repeatable) words along the lines of "you LOOKED at this place and you STILL booked it??!! How drunk were you?" "But it looked ok in the dark" he said.?Maybe it's no surprise I book all our holidays and DH just turns up, as silverlining said, and enjoys it or complains. He spent most of this year's anniversary saying 'I must go to the shop and get you a card'. He didn't. One decision so many years ago ..... .

Are you quite a bit younger than your DH Superqueen? I have to say I'd quite like just once to be described as a trophy wife. I hope you both enjoy your holiday anyway - you can make the decisions on your new clothes, places to eat and things to do.

I'd be more worried if my husband booked a holiday without me. I'd be delighted if he booked something, even if it was something he enjoyed more than I would. I am forever trying to interest him in places I would like to go or get him to say where he wants to go but it is like getting blood out of a stone. Mind you, I once insisted that he book one hotel and I book the other when we were going away. He found a really cheap one whilst I went mid market much to his disgust. However, when we arrived at his hotel which was right alongside the motorway, we couldn't stop giggling about how dire it was; our son was in a bed above us with his nose touching the ceiling, the toilet door was so narrow you could barely get in and the lack of space meant you had to really breathe in to shut it. The next day we went to 'my' hotel which was spacious, comfortable and in a beautiful setting. Perhaps I'll keep things as they are!

My husband did something similar for our 40th wedding anniversary I thought he was joking because for the last 10+ years he has refused to travel abroad with me and I have gone with girlfriends.
Whilst out with some joint friends, one asked if we would be celebrating our Ruby Wedding to which my husband replied that he had booked the same hotel in Malta where we had stayed on our honeymoon.
We had a wonderful time and I could almost describe it as a 2nd honeymoon, it was so good.
My advice is ENJOY IT.