I have been feeling really down lately and don't know if I am being unfair or selfish and have no one talk to,it's about my son,I have two grown up children ,my daughter is married with teenagers and is pretty happy,my son is 28 and single, my daughter was a handful when she was a teenager and not very nice,assume has matured we begin very well,she is 7 years older than her brother.
My son had some health problems as a baby ,and some general learning difficulties,and as I was a widow and my daughter left home at 16 her choice as she wanted to see a much older man,we did not want her to go,but she did! Which left me and my son,he was a joy ,and we had such fun , and we are quite close and have similar likes,which is the same for much daughter,
James found it hard to get work ,he has low self esteem,and did not do very well in school,and jobs being hard to get he became depressed and hated signing on.
He has now had a job ,a manual one and has held that down and did well,so obviously I see him less,he lives with my brother near his work,James is awful with money ,but is on top of that with debt advice,and sorting it out,I see him about once a week sometimes two,and we normally go somewhere with his sister and my gc,who all get on well ,the problem is,he has met a girl online and went to meet her ,she lives in Dorset we are in Essex,has no car,and is renting cars,getting trains to meet her , and borrowing the money to do this,which has not got,he has been down five times for days ,in which they are going out,eating out etc,he has been back from one of these trips three days and is planning a other one next week,we do not know much about this girl ,she phones a dozen times a day crying about things,and James sounds like a counsellor when he speaks to her,it's never cheerfully,,I have seen a photo of her,and she is crying I that one as well!
James has really changed,he is glued to the phone answering told off at work about it,he is either ringing her or she is ringing him,he has no other conversation,and people have said he is not Interested in anything else,he was a real family man,but he is pulling away ,and God help you ! If you don't join in his conversation about this girl,he gets really angry.
From my view ,I do not see him now,and we all had a family day out,and I miss that,I don't know if I'm selfish ,I live in a isolated cottage miles from anywhere ,and don't drive,I'm 52. It very lonely,so is it me, that,s wrong.
We know very little about her,we don't know her surname or age,she doesn't work ,has depression,and cries all the time,but the story changess every time,
I'm not sure if having to loan money to visit,or a girl who also has depression and money problems,is the best match,he says he wants a family like his sister,but I'm really worried now he will manage,as he cannot keep loaning,he has no car and sold most of what he owns.
I'm also worried he will move away, I would really appreciate any advice..please!!
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