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Some practical suggestions please!

(73 Posts)
Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:00:01

Four times a year (seasonally) I go to visit a friend. She had some mental health problems several years ago and solved them by buying a small holding in a remote part of the country where she lives very happily with an assortment of animals and visits from people she likes!?

It is a distance from me but fortunately I can fly from my local airport to hers and then a taxi, so it’s not difficult except for the baggage.

Now the problem. Well two really.

Obviously she’s not rolling in money and she won’t take any contribution from me. Up till now I’ve picked up a few bits and pieces before I left the airport but these are luxury things really and I think she needs something that makes more of a contribution to the housekeeping. There is no delivery service to where she lives so getting a supermarket to bring a load of stuff isn’t an option.

Secondly, and more important, I’m beginning to be too old to face the rigours of her life! Last January I did think “I can’t do this” as I tried to wash in the freezing cold bathroom. She only has a wood burner in the living room to warm the whole cottage, she heats a kettle on there for washing etc. I had two hot water bottles in bed and was still cold in the night. We wear our coats in the house during the day.

I’ve just been for a week and she was planning the after Christmas visit.

I’ll take any practical suggestions to make the visit easier. I really want to keep going. She’s such fun!

kittylester Sun 16-Sep-18 13:01:45

Would she like to come to you?

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:05:00

No, I think that would be difficult because of the animals and also I think she is nervous about the hustle and bustle of life in a city.

She didn’t come to my sons wedding last year, though we would have loved to have had her there.

SueDonim Sun 16-Sep-18 13:31:19

What a fabulous friend you are - I truly don't think I could bear to be so cold for any prolonged length of time! smile

Wrt to warmth, equip yourself with thermal leggings and tops and wear them day and night. Would your friend be offended if you were to take an electric blanket to her house and leave it there for your visits?

Thinking of food, do you both go out shopping for food when you're visiting? I was thinking that if you had cash, you could quickly jump in and pay the bill while she was packing.

I believe Amazon sells food now, is that an option for delivery?

wildswan16 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:32:36

How lovely of you to want to keep on visiting.

But I understand that you need to make this as "comfortable" as possible for yourself. It is clearly more of a "camping" holiday - i.e. chilly, possibly damp and windy etc. Could you take a sleeping bag, both to sleep in and to sit in it in the evening ? Stock up with packet soups and anything else that is reasonably light to carry that you can both eat and leave as a contribution. Or you could even post a parcel of basics before you go.

I'm sure you already have the thermal undies and socks. You don't need to wash for a week - just take a couple of packets of cleansing wipes and give yourself a good going over. Spray well with deodorant before getting back on the plane!

Maybe suggest you are getting on a bit and will come back according to the weather - so you can keep an eye on when gales/rain etc are forecast and pick the best time.

Would Amazon deliver a parcel of groceries if you ordered them?

paddyann Sun 16-Sep-18 13:35:12

thermal underwear and a fleecy bedset .My OH feels the cold so I bought a bedding set from QVC its fleece but not like the kind you'd wear,supersoft and cosy and very lightweight .or you can get blankets from the same company with heating elements in them for putting over you to stop the draughts.What about a light fitting for her bathroom that has a heat element on it,my MIL always had one in her bathroom which was like a fridge and buy fun onsies for daytime wear.You could collect stuff now and send it to her for when you arrive ,or have it sent direct from the company you buy it from .Have a great time

paddyann Sun 16-Sep-18 13:36:22

or go the more traditional routed with candles lit in the batroom inside pottery holders,they add a lot of warmth if left to burn

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:39:40

Hadn’t thought at all about Amazon. I will look into it right now!

I do the thermal bit but will take a set for bed now. I had my fleecy pyjamas but that didn’t seem to do the trick. Need two layers!

I will also take some wipes for if I just can’t face the bathroom.

Thinking about it as a camping holiday is a really good idea!

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:43:29

Candles. Brill idea. My sons partner makes scented ones so I could say they were a gift from him!

Madgran77 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:59:27

You can buy hand warmers Tha you squeeze and they stay warm for hours. Good put n socks too. Try ski shops and amazon. Practical things to take ...a "hamper" (big bag?) of goodies - eggs; biscits; nice tea; home made /bought fruit cake; bottle of wine; crisps; really nice bread; chocolate; jam; tinned fruit ; pate; smoked salmon and so on. Things that would be useful and she likes. Also for keeping warm wear double thermal layers - leggings under trousers; long sleeve tops etc Hope you have a good time

Missfoodlove Sun 16-Sep-18 14:11:03

Why not get the taxi to take you to her home via a supermarket?
If there is a Waitrose in the area you can do a click and collect so it would be a quick in and out.

OldMeg Sun 16-Sep-18 14:50:12

Buy her an electric blanket. Better stil buy two so you can have one when you visit,

OldMeg Sun 16-Sep-18 14:51:13

Or doesn’t she have electricity?

OldMeg Sun 16-Sep-18 14:51:25

Buy a generator.

crystaltipps Sun 16-Sep-18 15:36:30

Don’t go in January. Tell her it’s bad for your health. Couldn’t you go for a longer visit in the spring?

annodomini Sun 16-Sep-18 15:47:00

If all this extra clothing adds weight to your luggage, wear it for the flight! They won't weigh you! Seriously, it's a great idea to have some warm gear for both of you delivered by Amazon or other retailer. I recommend fleecy bedsocks which you can wear all day if you need to.

Jane10 Sun 16-Sep-18 15:53:17

Could you stay at a nearby B&B to 'save her the inconvenience of putting you up'?
Failing that, I suppose you could come clean and say that you're no longer able for a winter time journey but are looking forward to a midsummer visit?

Willow500 Sun 16-Sep-18 15:58:42

I swear by my slanket - a fleece type blanket with sleeves, a foot pocket in it and big pocket at the front. They are super warm and I wrap myself up in mine to sit and work at the computer in winter when the heating has gone off but they're also great for sitting watching tv. You could get your friend one too (with stern warnings not to try and walk around it it as she might trip). They normally sell them on QVC but there is an official site for them too. The fleece bedding is also wonderful on freezing nights.

Obviously lots of layers during the day and keeping active. I'm the world's coldest person and just hate being cold so would have to take as much as I could to keep warm but it's lovely you still intend to go despite the conditions!

SueDonim Sun 16-Sep-18 16:06:54

Eglantine when I broke my leg a few years ago I couldn't bath or shower for three weeks! grin

I kept clean with wipes and quick wash downs at the bathroom basin and I don't think I was smelly. I'm fairly sure my family would have commented if I was pongy! A few days without a shower will be fine.

Telly Sun 16-Sep-18 16:19:14

Personally I would stick to a summer visit! But there are some excellent suggestions here. You could always send a hamper, although they are not always good value, an excellent idea posted, arrive via a supermarket. I would check online though to see if there are deliveries. I have stayed in some very remote locations and Waitrose have managed to find us! You are truly a good friend!

Eglantine21 Sun 16-Sep-18 17:42:07

Thanks folks. I really enjoy going just because it’s so basic and a completely different way of life - as well as the fact that’s she’s one of the most entertaining people I know. Her aim is to be as self-sufficient as possible. Think the Good Life but without the neighbours!

There’s some very good ideas here and I’m already working on one or two. I can’t quite see how to get Amazon to deliver to an address that’s not mine. Will I get a chance to change it if I actually put in an order?

Anyway I’m feeling now that I can do at least one more after Xmas stay. Actually I’ve been to Antarctica and wasn’t as cold as I was last January grin

seacliff Sun 16-Sep-18 17:59:33

It sounds like she's a great fun friend who you enjoy visiting, so I'd try and keep going with some brought in comforts to make it better for you. This looks good

Re Amazon groceries, I've never used them, but I am pretty sure when you get to checkout, you can change the delivery address from yours to another.

annodomini Sun 16-Sep-18 18:10:02

When you come to pay for your items, Amazon will ask you for the delivery address where you can enter the name and address of your friend. I have done this for birthday presents for DSs and DGCs.

MissAdventure Sun 16-Sep-18 18:13:39

You can add an address on Amazon, then choose which one you want the delivery to go to.

Diana54 Sun 16-Sep-18 19:31:09

For sleep a really good sleeping bag as well as thermals otherwise keep warm chopping wood for that stove.