Thank you for coming back to us Emm.
I’m glad you’re feeling more positive now.
oldmom When your adult child moves away, of course you mourn the fact that you are going to see them less frequently than you would if they lived near to you. But the point is that you have already established that precious relationship. You’ve (hopefully) accepted long ago that they have now their own lives to lead and that you’re no longer the centre of their universe. You’ve realised that the focus of their life is now their wife and children and you are on the periphery, but you hope they will always feel they can turn to you in times of crisis.
The relationship with a grandchild is completely different. It still has to be established. It’s not ‘being obsessed’ to want to help nurture your beloved grandchild and to give an added dimension to their lives and to supplement the love and support their parents give them. I remember looking at my 5-week old granddaughter as we were about to fly back to England after visiting just after she was born, and feeling so sad because I thought that with the distance between us we would never have the close relationship I had with my Grandma.
But it hasn’t been like that at all.
She’s now got two younger brothers and we see them every 8 months or so on average.
There’s never been any shyness or difficulty - they run into our arms and we pick up where we left off, just like old friends. I’ve been able to read with them, play with them, take them out and do interesting things with them. Last year my DGD came to London and we had the most amazing time together. This year, my son brought my DGS to stay for a week and he had a ball too.
It would be nice to see them more often, and I wish we could help out more on a day to day basis. But we try to make up for it when we’re there.
So Emm, I hope it works out for you.