Should I move into a retirement property to be closer to DS and DiL

NanKate Thank you, I will look there. I think I will look at retirement villages both in Stratford and Alcester, which is where the Inspired one is. Luckylegs9 yes I agree with you. I might register for the discount anyway because I don't have to use the voucher, just in case I do decide to go for it, but the decision will be made on much more than just that. I can see that a varying age group would be preferable to many but I think the easier nature of making friends, and as your friend said, the safety will be beneficial to me too. Thanks for your help

I wouldn't make a decision based on a discount. The locality, expense of maintenance charges would prevent me from considering a village such as the one you mention. I like to be with a varying age group and would get depressed living with all older residents, however I realise some people prefer it. I have a friends moving to a retirement village because she says it just makes her feel safe.

NanaElla Stratford is quite a big town now so you wouldn’t be bumping into your family all the time. There is a cinema and two theatres, swimming pool etc

If you want to find a reasonable B and B try those in Evesham Place, which is just a short walk from the town centre. That area is called Old Town.

NanKate that is very helpful thank you. McCarthy & Stone seem to have some in Stratford so I might investigate those too. I would like to be a bit out of Stratford to build my own life a bit separate from my son and DiL, but yes I think I might go and stay in the area for a few days perhaps in a hotel so I can get a feel for how easy it is to get around, where the nearest GP, pharmacy, and shops are, and if the locals and residents seem friendly!

I know the area as I used to live in Stratford. This retirement complex is a few miles from Stratford so you would need a car and where would your local medical centre be and shops, all things you need to consider? If it were me I would look for a retirement home in Stratford itself where there is plenty going on.

Marydoll the OP has posted replies appreciating the advice!! If an advert I don't think anyone would bother!!

Nanaella I hope that you can come to a good decision for yourself

What I suggested at the beginning

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Maintenance charges are never going to go down and you really must consider the worst scenario re money.

A friend of mine moved out of London to be near family and her nearest general hospital is 90 miles away which is a nightmare to reach. She will be marooned when she can no longer drive. She also did not take into consideration how hilly the area is and she finds it difficult to manage because although the pavements in London are horrendous, on the whole they are flat.

TwiceAsNice That is very helpful thank you, it's nice to speak to someone who has experienced a similar dilemma. I'm sorry to hear that you are missing your friend back home, I guess luckily or unluckily depending on how you see it, I don't really have a best friend at the moment, but I'm glad to hear you have made friends in your new location too! I think family wins for me too at the end of the day, but I certainly have a lot to consider! Yes maintenance charges would be very different to my current living scenario

I used to live

I have moved to be near my family after living all my life in another area. I have bought a one bedroom flat which is not in a retirement complex. The down for me is high maintenance charges and I really miss my best friend back where Inusec to live. Pro is I see my family most days and I have made friends and found other interests. For me family wins but there are some things to definitely consider. I drive st the moment but this area has got a good free bus service which gets me to all essentials in the future

Thank you luluaugust, I think in terms of the social side a retirement property would be beneficial as I have been struggling to make new friends since some of mine moved away or have sadly passed away. Health wise a retirement property could also be better. I think the financial side is something I will have to look into further, perhaps my DiL or DS will be able to help with that?

Hi CharleyGirl5 and MadGran77 thank you so much that is really helpful – I definitely have a lot to consider! There does seem to be a communal bar and restaurant and games room, but I don’t know the general age range or about facilities nearby so that is definitely worth thinking about before I make a decision. Although it’s slightly sad to think about a time where I won’t be able to drive, it is hopefully a move that will be for life, so local transport will become very important. In terms of the other things, I think I will have to sit down and make a pros and cons list and start thinking it through. Off the top of my head pros of moving are: close to family, care likely to be available in the future, and more social. But cons are: new place where I don’t know anyone besides my family (don’t want to become dependent) and will have to refind the local shops, doctors etc, also I’ve never moved before so it would be a pretty major life shift moving away from a place I’ve lived in all my life, but hopefully a positive one? I don’t know … definitely a lot for me to consider, thank you all for your help!

You do need to think carefully and some of it must be to do with your health. If you move near to the family into an ordinary flat you need to be able to get out and look for new activities and hopefully friends by yourself. If you feel you want some of that done for you then a retirement property/village could be the answer. Make sure you are not too far from outside facilities as well. Obviously the financial side of taking on a retirement property needs to be looked at carefully.

You must make sure that shops, GP, optician etc are close by and also that there are good transport links to get around. I do not know if you drive now but one must think of the days ahead when one will not be able to drive.

Do you know the general age range of the people who have bought previously and is there a communal room to meet people?

Well I definitely don't think you should make the decision based on there being a good deal at the moment.

I think you need to sit down and very carefully think about all the pros and cons of a) moving b) staying where you are. Give yourself some time to do this, and go back to your lists a couple of times. Think about what you would be leaving behind (good and bad things) and what you would be gaining/losing if you move. Think about the future as well and how life/health might change. Think about things like friends, transport, home, family in relation to both options. Think about any "non-negotiables" that you have ...things you definitely need in your life regardless of where you are living. Find out about what is available/of interest in the area you might move to; what sort of life could you build for yourself beyond your family?

Once you have done all that you will be able to make an informed decision on what is best for you. Not easy I know but really really important.

That's very true M0nica and an idea I hadn't thought of! I will definitely ask about those issues if I do go and visit. Thank you for your help

There are pitfalls in living in retirement communities. Maintenance charges can be high and the developer will take a slice of the capital value when it is sold.

But if all of you are happy with the move and no the financial downsides, why not.

When my DMiL moved to be near us, she just bought an ordinary ground floor flat close to us, the doctor, shops and buses and we found that worked just as well and the flat was easier to sell when she died.

Hi Auntieflo that is a very good point which I had not thought about! I will raise that with them, before I make any major decisions. But I think/hope because they have already moved to Stratford to get away from London and big city life, they will hopefully stay for a while!

NanaElla nice to be asked to move near family, but what if they should move on in the future?

Sounds like a good idea NanaElla. Best of luck, whatever you decide!

Hi Bellanonna and DoraMarr (I hope I've done that right!) thanks for your help both on the platform and with this decision! I really really appreciate it. Yes, I am so glad I get on well with my DiL, and yes perhaps I should take the fact they have asked me as a sign that I would not be imposing too much! I will think about it a little more, and then I might see if my DS and DiL will come and look at the village and area with me.