Should I be annoyed.

I live in an apartment in the family home, even if DGS and I are going to the local market after Church or I am taking him to the corner shop I always tell DD.
Just a text or a FB message.
She is at home too but he is her child and it just seems normal to let her know where we are.

Some DILs can be difficult (my son's ex certainly is).

In this situation, couldn't you have taken the child with you?

6 days a week of looking after a grandchild? That's a LOT. I adore my GC, but even if their mum had been different, I wouldn't have wanted to give up 6 days out of 7 to look after children.

Thanks for the replies, yes I am aware of her power. I have never come across this before I have left my other grandchildren on occasion with my daughter for doctors appointments dentist etc, also my daughter and I take the children out on her day off do I now have to tell her every place we go?I look after children 6 days a week I sometimes I have no option, my other daughter in law has never had a problem. I have a list of do’s and don’ts which I ridgedly stick too for her son, I just feel my daughter has been slighted for some reason and also my son it seems is not allowed to make decisions regarding his child. Just to clarify my son is annoyed as well.

I think a quick text to that effect would have removed any doubt.
Mum has over reacted, although I can understand why she might want to know where the little one , perhaps in case of an emergency, but should yoube annoyed?
No of course not.
I would not talk to her about it unless she raises it in which case something along the lines of “sorry, son said it was OK but if it should ever be necessary again of course I will text you”
Then let it go.

We are all annoying and unreasonable at times. But we need a sense of proportion. Let problems like this get out of hand and you end up with feuds and estrangement. The child was never left alone without care.

So this incident was irritating, but let it go.

I cleared it with my son who said it was fine.
If you do speak to your Dil, which by the way, I wouldnt.
All you need to say is, "I'm sorry but". The above!
Btw, how did your Dd find out that your Ddil was upset about the arrangement?
It seems not directly from your Ddil so whoever this person is may have got hold of the wrong end of the stick, she may have been annoyed that your Ds had not let her know where her Ds was and left her out of the loop.
Very different from being annoyed that you Dd had looked after her nephew.
Whatever, I would throw this back to your Ds to deal with.

I'm a worrier and I get anxious so I can see where your DIL is coming from. I wanted to know where my children are and who they are with.

But I'd be having words with my husband as to why he didn't tell me. You cleared it with him so you did check and made sure it was ok, he didn't then pass on the message.

Difficult - I do always tell DDs if I am planning to take their children out, or leave with another DD when necessary. However, you cleared it with your son so the son's partner needs to have her argument with him, not you or your other DD.

If your DIL wants to know where her child is, then it's a good idea to let her know. It might seem unreasonable to you, but if she wants to know about changed plans, you should go along with that. A quick phone call or text message would have sorted it all out. What happened the day before is not relevant - don't get the two situations mixed up.

If you are going to talk to her, your first words should be "I'm sorry ". Don't get all huffy about it . She has all the power in this situation - don't risk your relationship with your son / your grandson just because you think you are right and she is wrong.

She is being unreasonable but there is nothing you can do about it. If you alienate her she has the power to stop you seeing your GS and DS, it happens all the time as you can see from so many threads on here.