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Autism update

(13 Posts)
Sielha Sat 01-Dec-18 00:10:04

Said I would update as you were all so kind in response to my earlier post about autism worry about my GS. He was seen by a health professional today who is fairly certain he is on the spectrum, no surprise really. But the good news is that he will be receiving help in the next few weeks for as long as it takes. I thought that he wouldn’t get any help until age 3 (another year away) so that’s a relief. My daughter and I are taking it in our stride but her husband and mine are not dealing with it so well, in denial really. A man thing? Been reading back through all the responses to my original post and have got a lot of help so thank you all x

EllanVannin Sat 01-Dec-18 09:10:24

One of my GGD's has ADHD and at the moment is/has been waiting for her yearly assessment which means that she has no medication. The knock-on effect is that her school transport won't pick her up because she's unmedicated so no school. The child is at home and can't be taken out for fear of a melt-down. Her mother can deal with her but other people can't when she's lashing out etc.
At the moment it's a waiting game and there doesn't appear to be anything happening.
The medication was working and kept her calm but she also lost weight as her appetite was non-existent. She's only 10 and my GD had to wait years for a diagnosis even though we as a family knew that there was something wrong. Child services are somewhat laxed here, like everything else I'm afraid. It's going backwards. Very disappointing.

We're all hoping that something gets sorted before Christmas or she'll start smashing the place to smithereens.

Jane10 Sat 01-Dec-18 10:27:29

Sielha it's good you've got a final diagnosis. That will help a lot in understanding her behaviour and communication. I used to spend a lot of time with families in denial. Common themes were a feeling of failure somehow or that the diagnosis is wrong and the individual will just snap out of it! There's a protectiveness too. People may think that this professional is being nasty about their child.
Most likely people just don't know enough about autism or only the exaggerated forms show on TV. Everyday autism just isn't dramatic enough for TV producers!
The other thing to bear in mind is that it's important to remember that the child hasn't changed, they are exactly the same person that they always were. Also, importantly, there is more to a person than their autism. There is all their other genetic components and their life experience to take into consideration.
Good luck. Somehow, in time, I bet both these men will become 'experts' in autism. You'll just have to smile!

Franbern Sat 01-Dec-18 11:44:39

Took my SiL a very long time to really come to terms with his first child ( a boy) having Aspergers. He just was not the son that my SiL had fantasised about having. Did not like crowds, did not do any form of sport (particularly team ones). My SiL wanted a rugby playing son. For a short time he became almost a spoilt child himself, out shouting my grandson.
However, time has changed so much. An excellent Special Secondary school for autistic pupils and my Gs learned so many 'management skills', he and his Dad have a great relationship, both being very involved in computer games, etc. Gs now taking A levels (Slowly - one a year) - Maths (B), Physics nest summer, Chemistry the following year. He has a Sunday job at a supermarket and is excellent a baby sitting his younger siblings so parents can go out in the evening.

MiniMoon Sat 01-Dec-18 14:05:34

My three DGS's are all on the spectrum to some degree. The eldest has Aspergers with ADHD. Number 2 has classic autism and number 3 has ADHD and possible autism, (he's still going through the assessment process). They are as different from each other as chalk is from cheese. Each one has his own likes and interests. My eldest GS is 10, and says when he grows up he would like to be a blacksmith.
They are quirky, interesting boys, and such fun.
Enjoy your little one and put the label to the back of your mind.

lemongrove Sat 01-Dec-18 15:37:47

Thanks for the update Sielha
At least you know now, and can read up on how best to manage his future behaviour.
Our DGS ( who we care for a lot of the time) is still difficult but having strategies in place and understanding helps a lot.
Come onto the forum whenever you need to talk about it.

Deedaa Sat 01-Dec-18 21:10:33

GS1 has decided that he isn't autistic at all, he was just going through a phase! This might have been more convincing if he hadn't just had a massive meltdown on an abortive trip to buy shoes!

Doodle Sun 02-Dec-18 20:13:30

sielha I can't remember on your original post if I mentioned the book "The reason I jump" (can't remember who wrote it but it's very well known). It obviously relates to children older than your grandson but is an excellent insight into one autistic boys life and well worth getting your DH and the boys father to read. Your grandson needs support and understanding for the years ahead and his grandad can be a big help if he chooses to be. We are very proud of our autistic GS and all he has been through.

Anniebach Sun 02-Dec-18 22:34:04

Doodle how are things at school for your grandson? Q

Doodle Mon 03-Dec-18 20:45:31

annie how kind you are to ask about him again. It's day to day but ok. He has a few friends and interests which keep him going. Doesn't like school but so many children don't. He has grown a lot which helps and has his wonderful mum and dad who are always on his side. I just keep my fingers crossed and hope he gets through these school years and things are easier after. Thank you for thinking of him x

Tiggergran Sun 09-Dec-18 10:39:59

This is for my first message on this forum .Deflating news 2 days ago as I’m told my Gs is causing concern at school and will need to be assessed by GPand school psychologist as his sometimes emotional outbursts ,ie hitting out ,shouting or meltdowns with inattention and distraction are suggestive of ADHD .Any tips with how to cope with this ourselves would be welcome,my son is very upset ,my Dinlaw seems to be philosophical and practical well they have had enough practice and dealing with bad news as their eldest age 9 is on the Autism Spectrum and their new baby of nearly a year has hypoxia brain injury caused by hospital mistakes .All in all this is devastating for them plus I feel very sad myself .I live alone and apart from own sister and brother who have grandchildren with no real health issuses so I find it upsetting to talk with them although `I do .I have no one to talk to about this as my son doesn’t want to .

Oakleaf Sun 09-Dec-18 11:42:50

Sielha Can I urge people, including the men in your family, to read Steve Silberman's excellent book NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and How to Think Smarter About People Who Think Differently

Doodle Sun 09-Dec-18 12:14:44

tigergran I am sorry you've got this worry with your DGS. All we want is for our children and GC to be happy and when they have problems we want to be able to help. It is a good thing your DIL seems to have a calm head on her shoulders. Getting the right help can make such a difference.
As for your brother and sister whose grandchildren have no such issues just talk to them as normal. They may not be able to understand how you feel but I have discovered over the years that everyone has problems and worries in their life at some point and for each of us those problems and worries may be different things. I have often met people and been jealous of their perfect life, jobs, children etc only to find that some sadness affects their life in some way and they have their own issues.
I hope your son can come to terms with this and support his wife and their son. I am sure when the shock has worn off he will be there for them both.
As this thread is about autism, you might find you get a better response if you start your own thread as I am sure there are many on GN who have GC with ADHD. Good luck to you and you family.